I suggest the two of you visit your local gun shop and see how different models feel to you. Even better would be to go to the range with a friend who has handguns or visit an indoor range that rents guns for use. Make sure you stress safety proceedures to your wife if she's never handled firearms before.

It's hard to beat a .22 semi-auto for fun shooting at the range. Low recoil, accurate, inexpensive to shoot. Could be used for self-defense but is not the best in that role. The .22 semi-auto is what I started my wife with when teaching her to use a handgun. Mine is a Ruger model 22/45.

For a first self defense handgun, it's hard to beat a short barreled .38 Special. Low recoil, light to carry, simple to operate, and very reliable. Not worth a darn for target shooting because of the short sight radius. Mine is a S&W model 442.

Look at a 9mm for a larger semi-auto as a one-gun compromise. Not as cheap and accurate to shoot as a .22 target pistol but is more accurate than a short barreled revolver. And, not as reliable in a self-defense role as the revolver but some will dispute that. The slide can be dificult for smaller women to cycle when loading / unloading. It's helpful to have knowledgeable instruction on how to properly work the slide for minimum effort on the lady's part. We men tend not to think about it because we are stronger.

Finally, if you have children at home you need to give serious thought about how you will store/secure your handgun when it's not under your direct control. A small safe and/or trigger lock is best. Last year my 27 year old stepson gained access to his girlfriend's dad's revolver, comitting suicide with it. Be careful about making safety assumptions with handguns.

I agree that a .22 is the way to go for learning and shooting at the range. I have a Browning Buckmark (semi-auto) and like it a lot. The Ruger semi-autos mentioned above also are excellent. If you want a revolver, Ruger makes some nice .22 models, including some that can switch to .22 magnum, which gives you a little more power. If I were going to use a gun for home defense, it would be a short, pump-action shotgun.

Good advice from PigHunter! As you can see there are many opinions on what is best so I'll throw in my 2 cents too. I don't use one but will always remember my niece's recommendation for such home defense. She is a Federal Agent, uses them daily, and knows a lot more about using them on people than I do. Her recommendation for this application has always been a Glock 40 caliber. She weighs about 120 pounds and uses one for work. There are many models to choose from to hit your price range and fit. They produce lots of reliable firepower, hit hard, yet produce little recoil for a small framed female.

I love .22 caliber target pistols for learning and for target practice but I really prefer something with more stopping power if I am serious about self-defense. A .22 will have nothing left after penetrating a wall or a door and expect a hopped up intruder to take about 5 of them in the gut before catching on to the idea that someone is really shooting at them. If that intruder is firing a weapon, I don't want to be on the receiving end while unloading my .22.

I personally like the autos for home defense because:
a) you can easily load them with magazines.
b) they have lots of fire power. You can carry several magazines and each mag holds around 9 shots or more so you can produce high volumes of fire if you need to scare someone bad or produce cover fire from a single person.
c)they are less likely to kill someone you love. If curious guests or kids ever get a hold of it, it will be empty, minimizing the most probable cause of death with pistols in the home... accidental discharge from unaware occupants. That way you can store it empty but load very quickly.
d) In a self-defense novice's hands, a revolver is dangerous, hard to load and and probably won't be reloaded after exhausting one cylinder of ammo because of the complexity and amount of fumbling required (I know... I use speed loaders too, but you really have to know what you are doing to keep a wheel gun shooting after the first six).

I am larger... I use a 45 ACP with lots of confidence. Lots of personal choices though. Best of luck with your decision... above all please be very safe and remember that in most American homes, more people are killed by accidental discharge of their home protection than they are by intruders. You have to plan on how you are going to keep it out of the wrong hands and how you are going to ensure safety in all phases of its existence in your home.

Lots of good advice has been given. Don't forget to consider the .22 magnum. S&W has a really nice .22 magnum revolver and the .22 mag is nothing to take lightly.

A .22 LR revolver would be a great gun to start with. It's a cheap and accurate round, better than nothing in terms of self defense, and a .22 revolver often has 6-10 shots depending on model. The bottom line with handguns...the more expensive the ammo is, the less likely you will practice, and practice is the key to good shooting. With a .22 you can buy a brick of 500 rounds for less than $30 and get some special rounds for self defense.

Sarge,
With all due respect, I once bought a Smith & Wesson Model 637 Airweight, and it was a beast to shoot, even with mild loads. It was a pleasure to carry, and would do the job in a defensive situation, but it's one of the last guns I would recommend to anyone, esp. a beginner, for recreational shooting.

I personally went with a stainless .38 revolver.

It is versatile for protection and target shooting. It has a big enough round for protection, but not a heavy recoil. You can have her hold and feel literally hundreds of different models until she likes one.

Get her involved in the purchase. She will like it more if she feels involved. My wife has had hers for 21 years, and her only complaint?... we don't go shooting enough.

I think it's about time for a woman's perspective on this.

I personally think a lightweight .38 spcl is the absolute worst gun in the world to give to a female shooter who is new to guns. They kick horribly in a woman's tiny hands and you can't hit anything with them (the snub-noses, anyway). Painful to shoot + low success rate is a recipe for misery and can turn a lot of women away from guns altogether. My first gun was a S&W Airweight snub-nose .38 (a gift from my well-meaning husband-at-the-time) and I hate shooting it. It stays in the console of my car as a carry weapon only because I don't have anything better for that purpose at the moment. I almost never shoot it at the range.

I do recommend a revolver for new shooters, but if you are set on an auto, I really like my Taurus 9mm. I am not normally a huge Taurus fan, but this gun was given to me as a gift and I enjoy shooting it because the recoil is light and operation is simple. I am no expert, but I've been shooting for years — and I still have trouble working the slide on a lot of semis. This is one of the main reasons I like a revolver for new women shooters. The disadvantage to a revolver for home protection is finding a way to keep it accessible yet out of reach of the kids. I keep the 9mm in my nightstand with the clip beside it, but not in it. My 6-year-old would never have the knowledge or strength to load that gun, but I could do it very quickly. A revolver would be slower to load in an emergency situation.

I really like the 22 mag suggestion. Easy to shoot and does a fairly decent job for home protection as well.

Women are just as capable of operating a "complex" semi-automatic pistol over a revolver as any man. Gimme a break. He wants an auto. They will handle a 9mm auto just fine. Recoil is nil in a full sized pistol, which is what you want for the range and home defense. A .22 is fun and accurate, but just about useless for home defense, and everyone wants a "real" (centerfire) gun after they get bored with their rimfire, so just get a "real" one right off the bat.

After reading all of the previous suggestions I am impressed. There isn't much I can add other than start with some good training. How, what, and when to shoot. My gun club found that women prefer women only classes. When I help new pistol shooters I always start with low recoil as in .22 cal and guns that fit the hands. Then make all the other decisions when you know something. But don't forget......[drum roll please] It's all for nothing if you don't practice.