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Q:
If I was to ask a stupid question about shooting a unicorn or a bigfoot, how many people would answer?

Question by blkbear. Uploaded on July 07, 2009

Answers (24)

Top Rated
All Answers
from Quinton Jensen wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Those questions are starting to get really old, real quick.

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from BlackWater wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Agreed.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from AndyH wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Ummm I don't think it's a stupid question. Lets see. I'll try to answer.....

We the willing led by the unknowing are doing the impossible for the ungrateful, we have done so much for so long with so little that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on.

In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of the nw Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.

Now, these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and from the new Navigator truck), and they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the lit dynamite fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite as far away as they can.

Remember a couple of sentences back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the dog??

Let's talk about the dog: it's a highly trained Labrador used for RETRIEVING. Especially well trained at retrieving things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming.

One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 birdshot, hardly big enough to stop a Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator truck..

The men continue to yell as they run away. The exhaust pipe on the truck is still hot, so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off after his master.

Then --BOOM-- the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this "I can't believe this happened"look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED. He still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments!!!

And you thought your day was not going well.

A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen.

The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators.

The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!"

Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes.

The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I've never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "You can tell me who the @@@ pushed me in the pool!"

I worked in technical support at Silicon Graphics about a year ago, and I was part of the group that was first in line to handle problem calls. Oh, joy. Being only eighteen at the time, my experience in the field of technical support was somewhat limited, but I could still handle my own.

Now, as you may or may not know, SGI sells top of the line computers used in many different industries. On average, they're about three times as expensive as personal PCs and are meant to be used by professionals in the industries they're used in.

Anyway, the following call came in:

Customer: "I just received an Onyx yesterday, and I tried to set it up today and it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "It just doesn't boot up?"
Customer: "It doesn't even turn on. I see nothing on the screen, and the fan doesn't even turn on in the back of the system."
Tech Support: "Is the monitor functioning? Is there a little green light in the lower right corner of the monitor?"
Customer: "Yes, there is."
Tech Support: "Ok, is the computer plugged in?"
Customer: (irritated) "Look, I think I know how to set up a system. I'm a college graduate, you know."
Tech Support: "Ok, let me finish typing up this report, and I'll send it off. You will get a reply within one business day."
Customer: (exasperated) "Thank you. Geez, I mean I paid a huge amount of money for this computer. The least you people can do it make sure it works before sending it to me!"
Customer: "I mean, to add to the poor quality control, you even sent me one extra power cord."
Tech Support: "One extra cord?"
Customer: "Yes, it looks just the one I used to plug in the monitor and computer, but that's all you sent to me. I have no use for this other one."
At this point, I thought I should inquire a little more...but use a bit of tact to do so.

Tech Support: "Sir, can you double check the serial number on the back of your computer?"
Customer: "On the back of the computer?"
Tech Support: "Yes, sir."
Customer: (sigh) "All right, all right, hold on..."
I heard a few muffled grunts as he crawled over his desk to see the back of the computer. He repeated the serial number from the sticker. I didn't bother to verify it.

Tech Support: "Thank you, sir. Oh, by the way, can you check to see if the computer is plugged in?"
Dead silence. I could just picture the man's face when he realized that the computer was never plugged in in the first place and that the "extra" power cord he was holding in his hand was for the computer. I didn't wait for a response from him. I thanked him for calling, hung up, and closed the case.

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:

MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Just a few things I found on the net that might be helpful to you question. If you need a better answer please try 411 on your cell phone.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Dipstick

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hnestle wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

I agree WA Mtnhunter

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from MB915 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people who ask questions.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from CavRecon wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

At 100 points an answer, you'll probably get quite a few.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from vorero wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

aparently 9 because thats how many people awnserd this question

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from TonyK wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

How about you go deer hunting instead.

-2 Good Comment? | | Report
from muskiemaster wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

yeah a similar question about bigfoot got more then a hundred answers a couple months ago I don't think these people are going to get as good of luck.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from rudyglove27 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Come up with a new question. That question is ancient times ok.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from NYhunter wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

don't do it.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hunter Savage wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

you mean like this stupid question you just posted

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from blkbear wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

This "question" was in response to the in flux of questions about bigfoot and sasquatch and the loc ness monster that I have seen lately, for those of you that were a little slow to pick up on it. I think Cooper said it best..........ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzz , Maybe I need to write one in response to AndyH's brilliant answer...moron. You're obviously very good at cut and paste, good for you.
Let's keep it to hunting and fishing, for real fish and animals huh?

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from AndyH wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Blkbear Sorry,

Well lets just say I would not of posted to your question had I understood it to be serious, I just thought you wanted more points for your stars,,, And this little post will give you 10points and my above post gave you 10 points thanks for the gratitude. Sorry if I offended you or anyone. Thanks for the -1's I deserve that.

I hope you get many postes to your question that are more serious.... Much luck on your bigfoot and unicorn hunt hope you catch a big one...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from AndyH wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Blkbear Sorry again,

I am a moron but wouldn't you call this statment made by you an oxymoron?

"Let's keep it to hunting and fishing, for real fish and animals huh?"

-2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Big O wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

More than you thought huh ?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

AndyH

lighten up DUDE! B)

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

blkbear, no that’s a pretty good question Sir NO JOKE!

It really brings out the mentality of the individual responding!

I would respectively invite the critter over and ask how He/She wants there steak cooked and what would they like to drink. I would show them the best time and hopefully become there manager and make millions!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Hey blkbear

If you have not "MOOSED UP" like I have, you haven't been on here long enough!

YUK! YUK!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hunter99 wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

I would like to help hunters and fishers out, sorry if i affend you but going down the list and reading things like this dont help anyone out :-/

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from mattreney wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

got to say if you think those are stupid questions what does this make your? id say stupider its a dumb question about a stupid question :)

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from blkbear wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

Ahhhh, mattreney, you must be the one who likes posting all those questions as I see you took quite a bit of offense to my question.

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from Quinton Jensen wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Those questions are starting to get really old, real quick.

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from blkbear wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

This "question" was in response to the in flux of questions about bigfoot and sasquatch and the loc ness monster that I have seen lately, for those of you that were a little slow to pick up on it. I think Cooper said it best..........ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzz , Maybe I need to write one in response to AndyH's brilliant answer...moron. You're obviously very good at cut and paste, good for you.
Let's keep it to hunting and fishing, for real fish and animals huh?

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from BlackWater wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Agreed.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Dipstick

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from CavRecon wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

At 100 points an answer, you'll probably get quite a few.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from vorero wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

aparently 9 because thats how many people awnserd this question

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from muskiemaster wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

yeah a similar question about bigfoot got more then a hundred answers a couple months ago I don't think these people are going to get as good of luck.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from NYhunter wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

don't do it.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Big O wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

More than you thought huh ?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

AndyH

lighten up DUDE! B)

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

blkbear, no that’s a pretty good question Sir NO JOKE!

It really brings out the mentality of the individual responding!

I would respectively invite the critter over and ask how He/She wants there steak cooked and what would they like to drink. I would show them the best time and hopefully become there manager and make millions!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Hey blkbear

If you have not "MOOSED UP" like I have, you haven't been on here long enough!

YUK! YUK!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hnestle wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

I agree WA Mtnhunter

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from MB915 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people who ask questions.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from rudyglove27 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Come up with a new question. That question is ancient times ok.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hunter Savage wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

you mean like this stupid question you just posted

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from AndyH wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Blkbear Sorry,

Well lets just say I would not of posted to your question had I understood it to be serious, I just thought you wanted more points for your stars,,, And this little post will give you 10points and my above post gave you 10 points thanks for the gratitude. Sorry if I offended you or anyone. Thanks for the -1's I deserve that.

I hope you get many postes to your question that are more serious.... Much luck on your bigfoot and unicorn hunt hope you catch a big one...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from blkbear wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

Ahhhh, mattreney, you must be the one who likes posting all those questions as I see you took quite a bit of offense to my question.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from AndyH wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Ummm I don't think it's a stupid question. Lets see. I'll try to answer.....

We the willing led by the unknowing are doing the impossible for the ungrateful, we have done so much for so long with so little that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on.

In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of the nw Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.

Now, these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and from the new Navigator truck), and they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the lit dynamite fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite as far away as they can.

Remember a couple of sentences back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the dog??

Let's talk about the dog: it's a highly trained Labrador used for RETRIEVING. Especially well trained at retrieving things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming.

One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 birdshot, hardly big enough to stop a Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator truck..

The men continue to yell as they run away. The exhaust pipe on the truck is still hot, so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off after his master.

Then --BOOM-- the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this "I can't believe this happened"look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED. He still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments!!!

And you thought your day was not going well.

A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen.

The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators.

The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!"

Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes.

The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I've never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "You can tell me who the @@@ pushed me in the pool!"

I worked in technical support at Silicon Graphics about a year ago, and I was part of the group that was first in line to handle problem calls. Oh, joy. Being only eighteen at the time, my experience in the field of technical support was somewhat limited, but I could still handle my own.

Now, as you may or may not know, SGI sells top of the line computers used in many different industries. On average, they're about three times as expensive as personal PCs and are meant to be used by professionals in the industries they're used in.

Anyway, the following call came in:

Customer: "I just received an Onyx yesterday, and I tried to set it up today and it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "It just doesn't boot up?"
Customer: "It doesn't even turn on. I see nothing on the screen, and the fan doesn't even turn on in the back of the system."
Tech Support: "Is the monitor functioning? Is there a little green light in the lower right corner of the monitor?"
Customer: "Yes, there is."
Tech Support: "Ok, is the computer plugged in?"
Customer: (irritated) "Look, I think I know how to set up a system. I'm a college graduate, you know."
Tech Support: "Ok, let me finish typing up this report, and I'll send it off. You will get a reply within one business day."
Customer: (exasperated) "Thank you. Geez, I mean I paid a huge amount of money for this computer. The least you people can do it make sure it works before sending it to me!"
Customer: "I mean, to add to the poor quality control, you even sent me one extra power cord."
Tech Support: "One extra cord?"
Customer: "Yes, it looks just the one I used to plug in the monitor and computer, but that's all you sent to me. I have no use for this other one."
At this point, I thought I should inquire a little more...but use a bit of tact to do so.

Tech Support: "Sir, can you double check the serial number on the back of your computer?"
Customer: "On the back of the computer?"
Tech Support: "Yes, sir."
Customer: (sigh) "All right, all right, hold on..."
I heard a few muffled grunts as he crawled over his desk to see the back of the computer. He repeated the serial number from the sticker. I didn't bother to verify it.

Tech Support: "Thank you, sir. Oh, by the way, can you check to see if the computer is plugged in?"
Dead silence. I could just picture the man's face when he realized that the computer was never plugged in in the first place and that the "extra" power cord he was holding in his hand was for the computer. I didn't wait for a response from him. I thanked him for calling, hung up, and closed the case.

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:

MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Just a few things I found on the net that might be helpful to you question. If you need a better answer please try 411 on your cell phone.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hunter99 wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

I would like to help hunters and fishers out, sorry if i affend you but going down the list and reading things like this dont help anyone out :-/

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from mattreney wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

got to say if you think those are stupid questions what does this make your? id say stupider its a dumb question about a stupid question :)

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from TonyK wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

How about you go deer hunting instead.

-2 Good Comment? | | Report
from AndyH wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Blkbear Sorry again,

I am a moron but wouldn't you call this statment made by you an oxymoron?

"Let's keep it to hunting and fishing, for real fish and animals huh?"

-2 Good Comment? | | Report

Post an Answer