A dab behind your ears might help

1. Immediately cover No. 9 with Dawn dishwashing liquid.

2. Then call a good friend to come over and start scrubbing after he sees you leave with wife (see next step).

3. Order tickets to a late show and meet your wife on the outside the house. Whisk her off to a nice dinner and the show. If she insists on "freshening up" first, insist otherwise, using the words "romantic spontaniety" somehow in your verbiage.

4. At first opportunity, treat good friend to useful gift certificate.

Too late. Better luck next time!

OH Let's hope she's not pre-med

Don't use water until you get most of the oil out. Use paper towels or paper grocery bag put a weight on top and repeat until it no longer shows up on the paper. Then use a 50/50 mixture of white vinegar and water to neutralize the odor. Hopefully you have a good pad under the carpet properly installed with the barrier film up instead of down assuming you used the good padding. Many carpet installers do it wrong and or don't use the pad with the stain film on it.

Put the coffee table over the stain, and ask if she likes the new air freshener you bought on sale.

Try Shout stain remover, a good thick sponge, and a bucket of warm (not hot) water. I think that will do it.

I'd second the warm water and cleaner cheapest option other than blaming it on the dog.

Neutralizing the smell would be the biggest problem. Turn on the heater (or air conditioner) to get the air circulating. Then get back to gun cleaning so the remaining odor will be accounted for.

Depends on the material your carpet is made out of and the quality of Stainmaster treatment. Also whether it's soaked into the pad or not. If it's into the pad, remove the pad immediately or the stain will continue to come back.

Brian, good to hear switching your dog's feeding routine has helped. If it's not too cold he should be good for the day and not need the other half ration till you get home.

You pick the time frame for gobblers and I'll be there. With bells on ... well maybe not literally ... that wouldn't work for turkeys. And could also be problematic in airport security ... or airport sports bars. Anyway, let me know and I'll book a flight. What's the damage for non-resident license? Is it good for one or two turkeys? Do I need to bring proof that I have hunted here?

Hide and pray she doesn't find you!

My vote is for diamond tennis bracelet or ring placed strategically in another room of the house! At least until the carpet layers leave anyway!
Rot'sa ruck!

So did anything work for you? What was her reaction? I would have said put some type of dry powder on it (such as talc or baby powder) to absorb the liquid and then vacuum it up.