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Man Tries to Smuggle Reptiles on Plane in His Pants

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August 31, 2011

Man Tries to Smuggle Reptiles on Plane in His Pants

By Chad Love

Here's one from the "Watch Out For The Trouser Snake" files. At least that's what TSA agents at the Miami airport may have been thinking when they discovered a man trying to smuggle a veritable Noah's Ark of reptiles onto a plane... in his pants.

From this Reuters story:

Never mind ants in your pants, what about snakes and tortoises? That's what authorities at Miami's international airport said they found inside the trousers of a passenger as he tried to board a flight for Brazil. The U.S. Transportation Security Administration said the man had seven exotic snakes and three tortoises wrapped in nylon bags that had been stuffed into his pants.

He was discovered as he went through a body scanner at one of the airport's security checkpoints on Thursday and arrested by U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service officials for violating animal trafficking laws. Authorities declined to identify the man or offer any explanation for his botched attempt at reptile smuggling.

I'm just gonna go grab a bag of popcorn, sit back and watch the jokes, puns and double-entendres fly...

Comments (12)

Top Rated
All Comments
from Kyle VanBritson wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Snakes on a Plane!!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Kyle VanBritson wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

At least he wasn't smuggling crabs in his pants...or was he???

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from dukkillr wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"Sir, I'm counting eleven heartbeats on this body scan...I think this man is possessed."

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Diehl wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"Honest, occifer, I have *NO IDEA* how those got in there!"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from M_Rothwell wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

It was all planned. See, while everyone was so occupied by this overly strange smuggle attempt, this guy's cousins were coming IN to the U.S., smuggling 100's of pounds of cocaine and went through completely unnoticed!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from jdwood wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

No really I am just happy to see you

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bberg7794 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

I know someone who did this successfully in the '80s. Seattle to Anchorage. He had trouble finding a pet sitter for spring break.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from vasportsman wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Gives snake in the grass a whole new meaning...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smartz wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

but, um, er, how did he walk straight without hurting uh...'himself'? i mean really, i can't see how he thought this was a good idea.[:'=

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Kyle VanBritson wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

TSA Employee:Sir what is that unsightly bulge in your pants?
Man: What, have you never seen a man with a big package before?
TSA Employee: Sir,it's squirming, either you are very happy to see me or you have something in your pants.
Man:...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jmshackelfo@aol.com wrote 2 years 32 weeks ago

Can you imagin the ecologiacal damage that would have been done if a few of those snakes could have gotten loose in Brazil. I'm sure you can because its happening here in Florida. But I'm glad the guy was stopped. I just wonder if the TSA had to do pat down search to find them?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Keely Thomas-Moore wrote 2 years 2 weeks ago

I wonder if they were just his pets and he didn't want to pay for a pet sitter to watch them while he was gone. I know a lot of people get really attached to their pets. I just don't know if he was really smuggling them out of the country. The United States isn't really known for its exotic reptiles; usually people try to smuggle them in from other countries.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from M_Rothwell wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

It was all planned. See, while everyone was so occupied by this overly strange smuggle attempt, this guy's cousins were coming IN to the U.S., smuggling 100's of pounds of cocaine and went through completely unnoticed!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Kyle VanBritson wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Snakes on a Plane!!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from dukkillr wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"Sir, I'm counting eleven heartbeats on this body scan...I think this man is possessed."

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Diehl wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"Honest, occifer, I have *NO IDEA* how those got in there!"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from bberg7794 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

I know someone who did this successfully in the '80s. Seattle to Anchorage. He had trouble finding a pet sitter for spring break.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Kyle VanBritson wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

At least he wasn't smuggling crabs in his pants...or was he???

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jdwood wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

No really I am just happy to see you

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from vasportsman wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Gives snake in the grass a whole new meaning...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smartz wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

but, um, er, how did he walk straight without hurting uh...'himself'? i mean really, i can't see how he thought this was a good idea.[:'=

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Kyle VanBritson wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

TSA Employee:Sir what is that unsightly bulge in your pants?
Man: What, have you never seen a man with a big package before?
TSA Employee: Sir,it's squirming, either you are very happy to see me or you have something in your pants.
Man:...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jmshackelfo@aol.com wrote 2 years 32 weeks ago

Can you imagin the ecologiacal damage that would have been done if a few of those snakes could have gotten loose in Brazil. I'm sure you can because its happening here in Florida. But I'm glad the guy was stopped. I just wonder if the TSA had to do pat down search to find them?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Keely Thomas-Moore wrote 2 years 2 weeks ago

I wonder if they were just his pets and he didn't want to pay for a pet sitter to watch them while he was gone. I know a lot of people get really attached to their pets. I just don't know if he was really smuggling them out of the country. The United States isn't really known for its exotic reptiles; usually people try to smuggle them in from other countries.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

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