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The Inanimate Objects Are Against Us!

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February 10, 2012

The Inanimate Objects Are Against Us!

By Chad Love

Do you have a piece of gear that you just don't get along with? You know, the one that you can never seem to find, and when you do find it, it never seems to work the way it's supposed to? Do you sometimes feel like the thing is actually trying to irritate you? Like it's got some life of its own, and the purpose of that life is to tick you off? That may not be as crazy as it sounds...

Resistentialism (ri-zis-TEN-shul-iz-um) noun: Resistentialism is a jocular theory in which inanimate objects display hostile desires towards human beings. For example, objects that cause problems (like lost keys or a fleeing bouncy ball) exhibit a high degree of resistentialism. In other words, a war is being fought between humans and inanimate objects, and all the little annoyances objects give people throughout the day are battles between the two.

The term was coined by humorist Paul Jennings in a piece titled "Report on Resistentialism", published in The Spectator in 1948[1] and reprinted in The New York Times[2]. The movement is a spoof of existentialism in general, and Jean-Paul Sartre in particular (Jennings gives the inventor of Resistentialism as Pierre-Marie Ventre). The slogan of Resistentialism is "Les choses sont contre nous" -- "Things are against us".

NOTE TO SELF: when spooling new line on a reel, always, always check the spool tension knob before making a cast, as said spool tension knobs on non-magnetic centrifugal-brake baitcasters are known to display a high and particularly malevolent degree of resistentialism.

Ok, so here's the question: what piece of gear displays a high degree of resistentialism to you?

Comments (21)

Top Rated
All Comments
from 784512 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I use to have a knife that I could open with both hands behind my back but closing it was a different story you had to use a hammer but now it’s my bait caster

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from fezzant wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My GPS - I never rely on a GPS for navigation - that's a sure way tp end up lost. Mine has a habit of working perfectly for a while (days, weeks, months) and then going through a phase where it randomly shuts down after several minutes, usually just when I am about to take a waypoint. Changing batteries has no effect, and after a week or two of doing this, the problem magically resolves itself.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from VAHunter540 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My game trail camera is more moody than my fiancé and twice as unpredictable. One day everything is fine and it takes wonderful pictures. The next instant it will shut down, reset, take “black” screen pictures or just not turn on. Sometimes I will leave it alone for a day or two and return to see that it shut down right after I left. I try to be nice and sweet talk it into working, buying it nice fancy batteries and a nice safe secure place for it to hang out in but I really just think its biding its time till it can burn my eyes out with its I.R. lasers. The correlation to my real life is eerie.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ALJoe wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

An old .22 automatic rifle. My dad, brother, and fiance can shoot it all day without any problems. The moment it goes in my hands it jams. I have cleaned and worked on it repeatedly. Even had gunsmiths work on it. Works great for everybody else but jams every dad gum time for me.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from dleurquin wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My hand held clay pigeon thrower. I break 'em putting them in the grip and they release way too late or they fall out too soon.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from tacomanusmc wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

It would have to be my catfish reel. The bail will either close during a cast, making my bait fly off the hook or a rather heavy sinker smacking me upside the head, or it'll work perfectly and the bait runner won't turn off so when I try to set the hook I just give the fish more line to run with. Stupid thing needs to die in a fire.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from iron giant wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Not exactly gear, but my mailbox is definitely against me. It has a combination lock on it and it will never disengage for me. I can have a friend open it no problems, but it never opens for me.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mibasshunter wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

definitely my open-faced reel on my fishing pole. closes when I'm casting, get tangle, everything!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bassman06 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Mine wasn't exactly for fishing or hunting, more like a pack animal... At the ranch I work at, we have this burro whose name is Murderface. He kicks, bites, dragged people behind him. He has kicked me so many times that I swear most of my ribs were cracked half the time. They have refused to put him down, no matter how many times we've shown hoof print bruises on our chests and stomachs. At least the horses I had to break in were nicer.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from vasportsman wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My Bass Pro Tournament LTD baitcasting reel AND the Falcon rod attached to it. They work as a team, after getting the reel adjusted to where I think it needs to be it WILL backlash on the first cast. After sorting out the mess and re-adjusting the tip of my rod WILL find a branch, grass, tacklebox, net, person, or some other object to hit and cause yet another backlash. I have another baicaster and rod that work just perfectly, first cast to last, but that combo is the epitome of resistentialism!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from HogBlog wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Small engines. Outboard motors, lawn mowers, chainsaws... they've all got it in for me. I think it's revenge for the things I used to do to get out of mowing the lawn, like pouring sand or sugar in the gas tank.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from davycrockettfv wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My GPS. It would work fine for a few hours, then go haywire with my previously traveled "route" zig-zagging it's way all over creation. After four or five hours imagine how surprised I am to learn that I walked 50 miles and my path looks like that reel you have pictured above!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from jbell6826 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

The object that absolutely lives to frustrate me, and laugh at my anguish, is my Cabelas Pro Guide reel. It absolutely loves shut the bail on me mid cast, it loves to get all tangled up in a rats nest every chance it gets and it loves to to watch my agony when all these incidents happen at the same time.

I do believe this reel feels as though its sole purpose is to get me to quit fishing. Which makes me wonder if my wife is in on this as well?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I am happy to announce that my life is in perfect harmony with my equipment. And there is a Santa Claus.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from RockySquirrel wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

This article is misleading and just plain wrong. There is no such thing as Resistentialism.

Intelligent persons know It is all caused by invisible evil elves from the planet GORGON. And I can prove it. The wormhole between our planets ( There is another one that stick bugs and Rosie ) came through) is in my computer. You can tell its open when the damn spell checker is changing every freakin word. But the elves can be fought back against. When they attack, just laugh heartily point to the back lash and exclaim loudly to no one "THATS WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO HAPPEN. The GORGON elves maybe evil, but they aren't especially bright, if you can't my drift. They can also be bribed with liquor.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from RockySquirrel wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

OPPS. work home is sparking to apron again! Where s the Johnny Walker?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Woods Walker wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My little old 4 hp boat motor on my john boat. One day it will work fine and the next day it won't start, then cuts out 3 or 4 times in a 30 minute run up river! And most interesting, the times that the motor is the hardest to start always seems to correlate with how busy the boat landing is and how impatient the other boaters are for me to get out of their way!! A number of times I have just given up and motored away red faced (and sore armed from pulling the starter) just powered by my electric motor instead.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Miltonmillshunter wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

my gps cant download topos or photos, if its not the computer then its the web or the gps or the batteries.....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Koldkut wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My Pflueger Trion 1990 fly reel's drag doesn't always engage, which really sucks when you go for a direct line hookset and it goes ZZZZZZZZZZZIIIIINNNNNNNG, and backlashes.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from rdorman wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

my wallet...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dcast wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Anything that I am convinced will be easy to fix! On the other hand though most of the things that should be time consuming and hard to fix is far easier than expected. Now if I could only offset the easy ones.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from VAHunter540 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My game trail camera is more moody than my fiancé and twice as unpredictable. One day everything is fine and it takes wonderful pictures. The next instant it will shut down, reset, take “black” screen pictures or just not turn on. Sometimes I will leave it alone for a day or two and return to see that it shut down right after I left. I try to be nice and sweet talk it into working, buying it nice fancy batteries and a nice safe secure place for it to hang out in but I really just think its biding its time till it can burn my eyes out with its I.R. lasers. The correlation to my real life is eerie.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from davycrockettfv wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My GPS. It would work fine for a few hours, then go haywire with my previously traveled "route" zig-zagging it's way all over creation. After four or five hours imagine how surprised I am to learn that I walked 50 miles and my path looks like that reel you have pictured above!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ALJoe wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

An old .22 automatic rifle. My dad, brother, and fiance can shoot it all day without any problems. The moment it goes in my hands it jams. I have cleaned and worked on it repeatedly. Even had gunsmiths work on it. Works great for everybody else but jams every dad gum time for me.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jbell6826 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

The object that absolutely lives to frustrate me, and laugh at my anguish, is my Cabelas Pro Guide reel. It absolutely loves shut the bail on me mid cast, it loves to get all tangled up in a rats nest every chance it gets and it loves to to watch my agony when all these incidents happen at the same time.

I do believe this reel feels as though its sole purpose is to get me to quit fishing. Which makes me wonder if my wife is in on this as well?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I am happy to announce that my life is in perfect harmony with my equipment. And there is a Santa Claus.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from 784512 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I use to have a knife that I could open with both hands behind my back but closing it was a different story you had to use a hammer but now it’s my bait caster

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from fezzant wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My GPS - I never rely on a GPS for navigation - that's a sure way tp end up lost. Mine has a habit of working perfectly for a while (days, weeks, months) and then going through a phase where it randomly shuts down after several minutes, usually just when I am about to take a waypoint. Changing batteries has no effect, and after a week or two of doing this, the problem magically resolves itself.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from dleurquin wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My hand held clay pigeon thrower. I break 'em putting them in the grip and they release way too late or they fall out too soon.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from tacomanusmc wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

It would have to be my catfish reel. The bail will either close during a cast, making my bait fly off the hook or a rather heavy sinker smacking me upside the head, or it'll work perfectly and the bait runner won't turn off so when I try to set the hook I just give the fish more line to run with. Stupid thing needs to die in a fire.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from iron giant wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Not exactly gear, but my mailbox is definitely against me. It has a combination lock on it and it will never disengage for me. I can have a friend open it no problems, but it never opens for me.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mibasshunter wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

definitely my open-faced reel on my fishing pole. closes when I'm casting, get tangle, everything!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bassman06 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Mine wasn't exactly for fishing or hunting, more like a pack animal... At the ranch I work at, we have this burro whose name is Murderface. He kicks, bites, dragged people behind him. He has kicked me so many times that I swear most of my ribs were cracked half the time. They have refused to put him down, no matter how many times we've shown hoof print bruises on our chests and stomachs. At least the horses I had to break in were nicer.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from vasportsman wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My Bass Pro Tournament LTD baitcasting reel AND the Falcon rod attached to it. They work as a team, after getting the reel adjusted to where I think it needs to be it WILL backlash on the first cast. After sorting out the mess and re-adjusting the tip of my rod WILL find a branch, grass, tacklebox, net, person, or some other object to hit and cause yet another backlash. I have another baicaster and rod that work just perfectly, first cast to last, but that combo is the epitome of resistentialism!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from HogBlog wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Small engines. Outboard motors, lawn mowers, chainsaws... they've all got it in for me. I think it's revenge for the things I used to do to get out of mowing the lawn, like pouring sand or sugar in the gas tank.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from RockySquirrel wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

This article is misleading and just plain wrong. There is no such thing as Resistentialism.

Intelligent persons know It is all caused by invisible evil elves from the planet GORGON. And I can prove it. The wormhole between our planets ( There is another one that stick bugs and Rosie ) came through) is in my computer. You can tell its open when the damn spell checker is changing every freakin word. But the elves can be fought back against. When they attack, just laugh heartily point to the back lash and exclaim loudly to no one "THATS WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO HAPPEN. The GORGON elves maybe evil, but they aren't especially bright, if you can't my drift. They can also be bribed with liquor.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from RockySquirrel wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

OPPS. work home is sparking to apron again! Where s the Johnny Walker?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Woods Walker wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My little old 4 hp boat motor on my john boat. One day it will work fine and the next day it won't start, then cuts out 3 or 4 times in a 30 minute run up river! And most interesting, the times that the motor is the hardest to start always seems to correlate with how busy the boat landing is and how impatient the other boaters are for me to get out of their way!! A number of times I have just given up and motored away red faced (and sore armed from pulling the starter) just powered by my electric motor instead.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Miltonmillshunter wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

my gps cant download topos or photos, if its not the computer then its the web or the gps or the batteries.....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Koldkut wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

My Pflueger Trion 1990 fly reel's drag doesn't always engage, which really sucks when you go for a direct line hookset and it goes ZZZZZZZZZZZIIIIINNNNNNNG, and backlashes.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from rdorman wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

my wallet...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dcast wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Anything that I am convinced will be easy to fix! On the other hand though most of the things that should be time consuming and hard to fix is far easier than expected. Now if I could only offset the easy ones.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

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