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Caption Contest from Russia: Riding the Mi-8 Helicopter

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June 07, 2013

Caption Contest from Russia: Riding the Mi-8 Helicopter

By Kirk Deeter

Thanks to those of you who have been reading my dispatches from Russia and the Ponoi River. It was, in every sense, an epic trip of a lifetime.  

But there is some backstory worth sharing. KLM airlines lost my luggage in Amsterdam before I could fly from Helsinki to Murmansk. I cleared Russian customs with my computer, camera, and a plastic bag filled with six pairs of underwear, two pair of socks, and a bottle of scotch I bought at Duty-Free. The perplexed customs agent stared at me for a bit, and I simply stared back, implying only "I'm here to party." I got stamped through...and I think even Hunter S. Thompson would have been proud. (Fortunately, the guides at Ryabaga camp outfitted me for the week with everything I needed, clothes and all, which I think is further testament to what a top-notch operation they run on the Ponoi.)

The real issue for me was, admittedly, the ride in and out of camp on a Soviet-era Mi-8 helicopter, which lasted for two hours each way. I had seen my doctor and obtained a prescription for some "chill pills" specifically for that purpose. Add a little Pink Floyd through the iPod, and it was all good. I must say, however, riding in one of those choppers is like sitting in an airborne tractor—it's more akin to something from Jules Verne than Star Trek. But it was a great experience, and I am a better man for it.  

I can't vouch for everyone else on that ride, and hence, I offer this image as a Fly Talk caption contest fodder. What's missing in this photo is the strong smell of av-gas, and the portrait of the Virgin Mary hung outside the cockpit. But you get the gist.

You also know the drill. Best caption wins a prize, and in this case, it will be an autographed copy of my newly-released book, "The Orvis Guide to Fly Fishing for Carp." Good luck, and have at it. 

Comments (70)

Top Rated
All Comments
from Kris24 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

"Who farted?"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ruckinger2 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

The fish I lost are taunting me.....make them stop!!! (*rocks to and fro)

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smccardell wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

There's no place like home... there's no place like home...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Happy Myles wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

I wish the Captain had not come back and had a drink with us.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smccardell wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from elkslayer wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Guys, maybe we should tell him we already landed half an hour ago.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from elkslayer wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Guys, I think we should tell him that we already landed a half hour ago.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smccardell wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Talk to me, Goose...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smccardell wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Yeeha, Jester's dead!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dcast wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH! I drank to much Vodka last night to be here right now!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smccardell wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

This is my fly rod. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My fly rod is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my fly rod is useless. Without my fly rod, I am useless. I must cast my fly rod true. I must cast straighter than my enemy, who is trying to evade me. I must catch him before he evades me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rod and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Rhythm Rider wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

I swear, just one more story about Deeter's lost bag, and I'm jumping out.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Who let my wife on board???

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from schwechel wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Stop talking about Game of Thrones! I TIVO'd it for when I get back!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sinjin Eberle wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Gawd!! Could you please get the flight attendant to turn off the damn Adele channel!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from seth trudeau wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Only four more hures untill I can fish again. Four more...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

la la la la I can't hear you....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from SMC1986 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Of course....now the MRE's are trying to come out.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from JRE716 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

He was like this all the way home, All we told him was mine's bigger than his. (Fish that is)

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

I guess someone doesn't like the new Taylor Swift album...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from hudsflywater wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Our Father in heaven,hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come,your will be done,on earth, as it is in heaven -- Oh GOD, Oh GOD,I promise I'll never do that again.....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Blase110 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Yep, Taylor Swift sounds just as awful in Russian.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from -Bob wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Not being familiar with the local accent, Deeter confuses "АВГДЄЅ ЗИѲ" (Assume crash position!) with "АВГДЄЅ ЗИЦ" (More borscht, comrade?).

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

LOUD NOISES!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Kirk discovers that the HIP hasn't been cleaned since the cold war.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Wait, we take a rope and repel where?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Smells like Yellowstone in here.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

We have a rendezvous with destiny.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

1-0-1, what does that even mean?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sureshot516 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

I don't speak Russian so there no sense listing to this guys fishing stories

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Tom-Tom wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Which one these four sports went shot-for-shot with the local Russian guide last night?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dangle wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Validates why I appreciate so much the great fishing area I live in, and can be home in my own bed after flyfishing, and not having to go through all of that to catch a sea-run brown. Go to the Orvis site, and look at the good lookin browns they caught in my backyard last week.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhjimbo wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

Are we there yet ?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from clutzylou wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

I am listening to---
"Is there anybody out there"
since I'm "comfortably NUMB"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from gman4488 wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm FISHING in a most peculiar way

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Danik Inselman wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

Need..... to keep..... my brains in......

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from badsmerf wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

Not another big fish story!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from badsmerf wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

I told 'em it was a chopper, Larry shoulda known those 'Nam flashbacks were comin'.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from haverodwilltravel wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

"Who knew those guides could drink like that?"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from haverodwilltravel wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

"Oh no! I think I left my papers back at camp."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from haverodwilltravel wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

"What do you mean you thought it was a good idea to give Olga my home address!"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from sly wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

The voices. There back!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

Harry and Loyd picked up another hitch hiker on their way to Aspen. Harry said to Deeter, "Hey, do wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

I shoulda brought ear muffs!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Rgw3 wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

What do you mean by we are sitting in "Live Stock" class? I can't listen to any more!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from coachsjike wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

Not there, not there, not there!!!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Steve JD Shooters wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

I am up this high on a helicopter with my ears covered, and I can still hear my wife yelling!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Scott Alexander wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

He can hear the contempt in the other passenger's faces!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from OMuilleoir wrote 44 weeks 4 days ago

Go to a happy place...I'm in my happy place!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mspl8sdcntryboy wrote 44 weeks 4 days ago

On his way out of the country, Mr.Deeter was told by the Russian Embassy that his clothes were found during an Al Qaeda raid in Afghanistan!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mspl8sdcntryboy wrote 44 weeks 4 days ago

His knowledge of Russian limited, Mr.Deeter mistook "До свидания" (Do vidonia, goodbye) for "does he fly?"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from peppeli wrote 44 weeks 4 days ago

I will not listen to your communistic ideas about fly fishing!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from JMWoods wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

In Soviet Russia, Voices in Head Talk to You!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from NJAngler wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

♪ "And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
That Georgia's always on my my my my my my my my my mind!" ♪

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sureshot516 wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

"I refuse to listen to any more fish stories"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Neil J. Selbicky wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

Put your hands behind your head, and then kiss your ass good bye!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

Attention! The captain has ordered us to scuttle luggage to make room for more vodka. Sorry, Deeter.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jeff194 wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

Deeter learning that Heavey will be his gulag cellmate

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from agsfield wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

Please let this guy stop talking about fishing for carp!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Joel Harrison wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

I wish I would have packed that 7th pair of underwear

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from lonewolf20 wrote 44 weeks 2 days ago

"Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happppppyyyyy ppplllllaaaacccceeeeeeee"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from aferraro wrote 44 weeks 2 days ago

They play Justin Bieber in Russia?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cody Las-Vegas wrote 44 weeks 2 days ago

Wish I would have taken the complimentary earplugs.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mike0714 wrote 44 weeks 23 hours ago

who let my wife in the dam helicopter?!?!?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mike0714 wrote 44 weeks 23 hours ago

who let my mother in the dam helicopter?!?!?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sly wrote 44 weeks 22 hours ago

In Soviet Russia Bieber sings at you.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 6 hours ago

Shut up stewardess! I already know how to put on a damn life jacket!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 6 hours ago

uhhhh thiiiis isss yourrr captaaaain.....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fruguy101 wrote 43 weeks 6 days ago

No more stories about shooting asian carp with your AKs, please!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fruguy101 wrote 43 weeks 6 days ago

Mr. Deeter, please, it's reliable. No problems this week.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from Kris24 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

"Who farted?"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Rhythm Rider wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

I swear, just one more story about Deeter's lost bag, and I'm jumping out.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from clutzylou wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

I am listening to---
"Is there anybody out there"
since I'm "comfortably NUMB"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from haverodwilltravel wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

"Who knew those guides could drink like that?"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from haverodwilltravel wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

"What do you mean you thought it was a good idea to give Olga my home address!"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ruckinger2 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

The fish I lost are taunting me.....make them stop!!! (*rocks to and fro)

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smccardell wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

There's no place like home... there's no place like home...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Happy Myles wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

I wish the Captain had not come back and had a drink with us.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smccardell wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from elkslayer wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Guys, maybe we should tell him we already landed half an hour ago.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from elkslayer wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Guys, I think we should tell him that we already landed a half hour ago.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smccardell wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Talk to me, Goose...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smccardell wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Yeeha, Jester's dead!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dcast wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH! I drank to much Vodka last night to be here right now!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from smccardell wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

This is my fly rod. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My fly rod is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my fly rod is useless. Without my fly rod, I am useless. I must cast my fly rod true. I must cast straighter than my enemy, who is trying to evade me. I must catch him before he evades me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rod and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Who let my wife on board???

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from schwechel wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Stop talking about Game of Thrones! I TIVO'd it for when I get back!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sinjin Eberle wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Gawd!! Could you please get the flight attendant to turn off the damn Adele channel!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from seth trudeau wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Only four more hures untill I can fish again. Four more...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

la la la la I can't hear you....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from SMC1986 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Of course....now the MRE's are trying to come out.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from JRE716 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

He was like this all the way home, All we told him was mine's bigger than his. (Fish that is)

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

I guess someone doesn't like the new Taylor Swift album...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from hudsflywater wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Our Father in heaven,hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come,your will be done,on earth, as it is in heaven -- Oh GOD, Oh GOD,I promise I'll never do that again.....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Blase110 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Yep, Taylor Swift sounds just as awful in Russian.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from -Bob wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Not being familiar with the local accent, Deeter confuses "АВГДЄЅ ЗИѲ" (Assume crash position!) with "АВГДЄЅ ЗИЦ" (More borscht, comrade?).

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

LOUD NOISES!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Kirk discovers that the HIP hasn't been cleaned since the cold war.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Wait, we take a rope and repel where?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Smells like Yellowstone in here.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

We have a rendezvous with destiny.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgtsly wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

1-0-1, what does that even mean?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sureshot516 wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

I don't speak Russian so there no sense listing to this guys fishing stories

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Tom-Tom wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Which one these four sports went shot-for-shot with the local Russian guide last night?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dangle wrote 44 weeks 6 days ago

Validates why I appreciate so much the great fishing area I live in, and can be home in my own bed after flyfishing, and not having to go through all of that to catch a sea-run brown. Go to the Orvis site, and look at the good lookin browns they caught in my backyard last week.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhjimbo wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

Are we there yet ?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from gman4488 wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm FISHING in a most peculiar way

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Danik Inselman wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

Need..... to keep..... my brains in......

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from badsmerf wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

Not another big fish story!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from badsmerf wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

I told 'em it was a chopper, Larry shoulda known those 'Nam flashbacks were comin'.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from haverodwilltravel wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

"Oh no! I think I left my papers back at camp."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sly wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

The voices. There back!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

Harry and Loyd picked up another hitch hiker on their way to Aspen. Harry said to Deeter, "Hey, do wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

I shoulda brought ear muffs!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Rgw3 wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

What do you mean by we are sitting in "Live Stock" class? I can't listen to any more!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from coachsjike wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

Not there, not there, not there!!!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Steve JD Shooters wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

I am up this high on a helicopter with my ears covered, and I can still hear my wife yelling!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Scott Alexander wrote 44 weeks 5 days ago

He can hear the contempt in the other passenger's faces!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from OMuilleoir wrote 44 weeks 4 days ago

Go to a happy place...I'm in my happy place!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mspl8sdcntryboy wrote 44 weeks 4 days ago

On his way out of the country, Mr.Deeter was told by the Russian Embassy that his clothes were found during an Al Qaeda raid in Afghanistan!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mspl8sdcntryboy wrote 44 weeks 4 days ago

His knowledge of Russian limited, Mr.Deeter mistook "До свидания" (Do vidonia, goodbye) for "does he fly?"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from peppeli wrote 44 weeks 4 days ago

I will not listen to your communistic ideas about fly fishing!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from JMWoods wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

In Soviet Russia, Voices in Head Talk to You!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from NJAngler wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

♪ "And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
That Georgia's always on my my my my my my my my my mind!" ♪

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sureshot516 wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

"I refuse to listen to any more fish stories"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Neil J. Selbicky wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

Put your hands behind your head, and then kiss your ass good bye!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

Attention! The captain has ordered us to scuttle luggage to make room for more vodka. Sorry, Deeter.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jeff194 wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

Deeter learning that Heavey will be his gulag cellmate

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from agsfield wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

Please let this guy stop talking about fishing for carp!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Joel Harrison wrote 44 weeks 3 days ago

I wish I would have packed that 7th pair of underwear

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from lonewolf20 wrote 44 weeks 2 days ago

"Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happppppyyyyy ppplllllaaaacccceeeeeeee"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from aferraro wrote 44 weeks 2 days ago

They play Justin Bieber in Russia?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cody Las-Vegas wrote 44 weeks 2 days ago

Wish I would have taken the complimentary earplugs.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mike0714 wrote 44 weeks 23 hours ago

who let my wife in the dam helicopter?!?!?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mike0714 wrote 44 weeks 23 hours ago

who let my mother in the dam helicopter?!?!?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from sly wrote 44 weeks 22 hours ago

In Soviet Russia Bieber sings at you.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 6 hours ago

Shut up stewardess! I already know how to put on a damn life jacket!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Michael Jager wrote 44 weeks 6 hours ago

uhhhh thiiiis isss yourrr captaaaain.....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fruguy101 wrote 43 weeks 6 days ago

No more stories about shooting asian carp with your AKs, please!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fruguy101 wrote 43 weeks 6 days ago

Mr. Deeter, please, it's reliable. No problems this week.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

bmxbiz-fs