


April 03, 2009
Petzal: The Adventures of Plaxico in Bloombergland
By David E. Petzal
In the 19th century, when China was still ruled by emperors, a British trader asked a mandarin if it did not bother him that there were two standards of justice, one for the poor and another for the wealthy and well connected.
“Of course not,” said the mandarin, “it gives poor people all the more incentive to work hard and become rich.”
So anyway, Plaxico Burress, the New York Giants’ wide receiver and dexterity-challenged pistol-packer, appeared in court yesterday to be sentenced for carrying an illegal piece* and shooting himself in the leg on November 30, 2008. Under the charges Burress was facing, he was looking at a minimum of three years in prison and a maximum of 15.
Back in November, Mayor Bloomberg said that Burress should get three years no matter who he is. I said that a deal would be cut and Burress would never do a day of jail time. What happened in court yesterday supports my view. Burress stood before the judge less than a minute; the lawyers announced that they were trying to reach an agreement but that they needed more time. Sure, said his honor, so the new court date is June 15, at which time everyone will be bored by the subject. Mayor Bloomberg will be strangely mute. Plaxico will pay a fine, be required to take classes in Glock groping, and probably be traded quietly to another team in a city where the carry laws are more lenient.
*The automatic was bought legally in Florida, but Burress’ permit had expired, and it wouldn’t matter anyway because New York City does not recognize any permits but its own, even those from other counties in the state. That’s why there is no armed crime in New York City.
Comments (54)
You gotta wonder how he managed to shoot himself.
Sad fact is; he will end up with a book deal and actually profit from his ignorance.
You’re a prophet, DP. …And you know how the system of power and affluence works.
BTW loved your story on hunting the wounded buffalo in the new F & S. Isn’t it amazing how a hunter will pay to put himself, or herself, in harm’s way? I take it the wounded buffalo story is a case in point of moral obligation.
Too bad that dumbass didnt hit an artery. Everyone would be better off.
Every time I think I am a horribly sarcastic a-hole you make me proud Dave... "no armed crime in NYC". No heroin or cocaine or pot either I bet!
Laws only apply to people like me and you. Nashville's finest athlete got run off to Dallas and is still shooting (not himself unfortunately) and has never spent a day in jail. Adam Pac-Man Jones makes Plaxico look like a choir boy. Money talks. Big money screams!
Who says America hasn't got the best system of justice that money can buy? DEP, you hit the nail right on the head with your prognostication!
What's surprising to me is the fact that anyone is surprised that this is the way the situation is being handled.
Money baby, money. Justice is blind to the facts when rich folks are involved.
You think the lawyers needed more time to figure out who gets a cut of the money?
He'll probably end up in Atlanta with the Foulcons (sic). He is the type of player Atlanta loves. He can even carry a gun on the field in the ATL.
There was U-tube video of a Federal agent(of the DEA I believe?)that was giving a classroom presentation in which he shot himself in leg. He was intoxicated, as well. I wonder whatever, if anything, happened to him over that fiasco?
So much wasted talent these days. One day you have the world by the cahones` and then bang you shot yourself at a bar :)
Maybe he can follow OJ's lead and contemplate writing a book. "If I had shot myself in the leg, here's how I would have done it."
The Judge will probably tell his lawyers to get Burress out of Dodge, or he will make an example of him ... look for him to be picked up by an NFL team sometime after his court date.
Any publicity is good publicity ...
I'm not saying Plaxico is the sharpest knife in the drawer, but the NY city carry law is stupid and unjust. We'll see if the city lays hard time on a man whose crime was shooting himself accidentally, or if NY lets Plaxico walk, thereby putting doubt on the antigun law's essential fairness. I'm loving this whole thing.
The best way to beat a ticket is, change in venue!
GO FIGURE!
Excellent point Ralph the Rifleman. If that DEA agent didn't have to serve time I don't see how Plaxico should either. Especially since the DEA agent was supposed to be teaching a firearms safety class.
We here in OH know that Mr.Burress had previously toiled for the Pittsburg Steelers until the grass was greener in NYC. Maybe Mr. Burress should just hire a bodyguard instead of threatening the safety of himself and others who may be near him when he puts his hands in his pockets. I guess fame will save him from prison but what will save him from himself. How about Mr. Burress do a public service announcement about gun safety? He could say, "Guns and stupid people don't mix."
Plaxico was released by the NYG's today but it wasn't exactly quiet. Hmmmm. The Colts could use a wide receiver now that Marvin Harrison is old and someone was shot with a gun he owned outside a bar he owned but of course it couldn't have been him uh huh. They should require the Hunter Safety course to play in the NFL...
Todays star athletes are spoiled and pampered, some starting in high school, esp. in football. They get to slide on classes, they get money, cars, girls, anything they want. Remember Randy Moss? He was in trouble with the law from college and still got drafted high by Minn. and paid big bucks because he could play. They don't feel obligated to follow the rules everyone else does.
You watch, plea-bargain, say I’m sorry with tears flooding the court room, pay a hefty fine and get a slap on the wrist!
What ever happened a year or so ago about a Father shooting an intruder standing over his infants crib? Last I remember, the intruder had a rap sheet a mile long and they where prosecuting the Father for an unlicensed handgun! The family just moved there from Florida and the handgun was legal at that time.
Great footnote, Dave.
As a federal probation/parole officer with more than 23 yrs. of walking the "Halls of Justice", as much injustice happens in the halls as in the courtroom. Any justice system is as imperfect as the society it serves.
Just goes to show why i'd never carry a Glock, no real safety. Anything hit's the trigger and BOOM! I'll stick with my 1911 thank you.
It is embarassing enough to shoot yourself from mis-handling a weapon, he needs to surve some jail time too for his stupidity.
With enough $$$ you can get by with 2 muderers, just ask OJ how to do it.If I lived in NY you can bet your last $ I would carry a guy to defend myself from the likes of those mentioned above.
Alright alright, enough about NFL thugs and whatever else. Let's hear about rifles.
How about something about super accurate rimfires? How about sheep guns? Goat guns? Varmint guns? Autoloading/slide/lever rifle comparo? I'm really curious as to how the newer semi-auto guns stack up with the old classics. Rifle for turkeys where legal? Best rifle for the impending endtimes?
How about a roundup of the new calibers that have been bestowed upon us in the past few years? What's good, what's useless, what's just a pointless facsimile of an older caliber, what might make an older caliber obsolete, etc.
Gee, what about the rap musician (that's a contradiction in terms) that admitted trying to buy machine guns with silencers? He hasn't spent any time in jail either.
Michael
couldn't resist another comment. I truly wish that Pelosi, Hillary, Schumer, and a few others would be dumped in the middle of New York City's Central Park at midnight with no bodyguards, mace, pepper spray, certainly no guns since they don't believe anyone actually needs them for self-defense, or even a large stick. Any bets on how they would fare before they could get their collective asses out of the park? If they even got out.
Michael
I think NYC is the real culprit -- no matter what I may have said before...
Money and fame buy the justice now days. Personnaly I think that he should get what any Joe Blow would get.
The idiot had the gun in the waist band of his sweat pants while at a NYC nightclub. The gun slipped down into his pants and when he went to grab it the gun went off.
If Plaxico was a member of the NRA he would know the the gun should be licensed, held in a holster and not have a round in the chamber.
Thank God he shot himself and not someone else. Darwin has always gotten it right.
So many of these athletes you see in the news claim they fear for their lives and that they are stalked by fans and the media.
They put themselves in these situations and want us to believe they are the victims, they are victims of their own stupidity and I am better than you attitudes.
This guy is a moron and as stated above he will find a way to make money off of this, if it was a normal person they would have already been done with the court case and they would be in jail or paying heavy fines, because he is a celebrity he gets a free pass.
I just can't help but think what would have happened had he shot someone other than himself.
Plaxico Burress will walk. Unlike you or me, a pro athlete can't pick up where he left off if you take three years away from his prime. A three year jail sentence is the end of Burress's useful life; outside of some food service jobs or perhaps a run at the Senate, there's not much out there for a guy with Burress's limited brains and skill set. A judge will (hopefully) see that.
And again, I won't feel outraged if he walks because nobody, not even a boob who shoots himself, should go to prison on account of that stupid unconstitutional carry law. Drug dealers and liberal politicians walk the streets untouched, and he has to serve hard time for perforating his own dumb carcass? Burress is guilty of disorderly conduct and unlawful discharge of a firearm; slap him with a heavy fine, a ton of community service, and ninety days in the King George Hotel just so he knows how it feels to be there. And treat anybody else who did what he did the same way. Case closed.
Buckhunter,
While I admit that I am a fan of "The Darwin Awards", with their stories of idiots who are removed from the gene pool, the truth is that Darwin didn't get anything right...
Wingshooter 54,
I think you've got a great idea for a new reality show! I can't stand those shows generally, but I'd stand in line to see that one! What would we call it -- "Survivor: Central Park"?!?!
I suppose shooting oneself is a form of self punishment. Football or any game played with a sphere (not involving propellant or primers of course) is a game originally intended for children or adolescents. The adult children who play such games for pay should have to work for thier livings just like a carpenter, a plumber,a mechanic (or me). Yet These overgrown children are indulged and overpaid grossly.
If I don't like the notion of some financial executive who never got his hands dirty getting millions to wear a suit and look authoritarian, I also am disgusted that we still pay people to play GAMES. Plaxico of course demonstrated his childishness by carrying for the sake of his ego and discharging a firearm in a place where booze is served. As I have commented before, don't tell me he can't afford a professional bodyguard with his football millions (apparently he can't afford a belt or a holster either).
True NYC gun laws are stupid and have no relation to reality and true it is unlikely that Plaxico will suffer any sanction more serious than the self inflicted wound, but when are human beings going to wise up? We seem to be getting stupider every year.
I have to worry that with all the recent spree killings those who would disarm us are getting lots of ammunition for those unrealistic gun restrictions...The bad guys get to play and we responsible citizens have to pay...Again!
Don't blame the Glock, safety lies between your ears. You could shoot yourself just as easily with a Browning designed pistol.
The trigger has a safety built in, just don't put your finger on the trigger until you are ready to shoot, basic gun handling rules.
A Glock needs a holster that protects the trigger from both sides, the owner's manual says it and anyone can see that.
My Glock .45 would be the last gun in my house if it came down to it. I would not trade it for a bucket full of 1911's (bucket-a good place to keep old garbage)!
NYC is apparently a collection point for morons from all levels of society, from Burress to Bloomberg and quite a few in between.
There is one other thing that I haven't seen brought up in this case. According to New York State Law it is illegal to carry a handgun into a bar. And it doesn't matter if it's registered to you or not.
Burris makes riflescopes, and Burress should makes scopes for his guns that go on backwards. Aim true, Plax!
that was stupid to shoot yourself
Burris will sue Glock, Bloomberg will sue Glock, and the shop that sold Burris the "defective" pistol and lawyers will get most of the money! Why does the three words TAR AND FEATHERS come to mind?
Why is anyone suprised at this comment by Dave. Sen Jim Webb of Va right after his election had his chief aide drop him off at the airport. Sen Webb gave the aide his handgun to take back to the office in DC which is a no no at the time prior to Heller (still is actually.) The aide was arrested and charged with felony handgun charges. 3 months later the charges were quietly dismissed. Just another case of the elite Democrat/ Republican pretending to be a common man to get elected but in reality another elite hypocrite.
he was the best wide receiver for the gaints #17
I am so sick and tired of people who play Pro sports and most politicians, that break the laws of this country and get away with it. The honest Joe like you and me, would be in the crowbar hotel, for J walking or having an over due library book. Hate to tell you folks but it's only going to get worse in this Country. What you thought was wrong is becoming right and what you thought right is becoming wrong.
they aint gonna do a thing to him about carring a gun or shooting him self,,jamal lewis killed a guy and hes still playing football
hey he wouldnt have a problem shooting him self in the leg to get out of the army would he
I thought the first comment was very true. It seems that the rich people can affor do commit a crime because the worse that happens is they pay a couple of lawyers a million dollars have them talk a little then pay bail and leave.
There are two "court systems" here too, if you think I'm wrong just ask O.J. Simpson, Plax will get off maybe even scott free. I mean the only person he atempted to kill was himself.
Life is though!..........It's even tougher when your stupid!
That boy needs to do something about the lack of gray matter.
That just convicted that "Hollywood Guy"(Specter), maybe they'll do the right thing in this case too, doubtful, but hopeful.
This guy is an idiot. He shot himself because he was dinking around and trying to show off for some girl. He actually ended up looking like and idiot instead of a superstar. Way to go Plaxico! thanks for the daily dose of stupidity.
Dead on! What was the fine Plax paid?
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Every time I think I am a horribly sarcastic a-hole you make me proud Dave... "no armed crime in NYC". No heroin or cocaine or pot either I bet!
Laws only apply to people like me and you. Nashville's finest athlete got run off to Dallas and is still shooting (not himself unfortunately) and has never spent a day in jail. Adam Pac-Man Jones makes Plaxico look like a choir boy. Money talks. Big money screams!
Plaxico was released by the NYG's today but it wasn't exactly quiet. Hmmmm. The Colts could use a wide receiver now that Marvin Harrison is old and someone was shot with a gun he owned outside a bar he owned but of course it couldn't have been him uh huh. They should require the Hunter Safety course to play in the NFL...
Plaxico Burress will walk. Unlike you or me, a pro athlete can't pick up where he left off if you take three years away from his prime. A three year jail sentence is the end of Burress's useful life; outside of some food service jobs or perhaps a run at the Senate, there's not much out there for a guy with Burress's limited brains and skill set. A judge will (hopefully) see that.
And again, I won't feel outraged if he walks because nobody, not even a boob who shoots himself, should go to prison on account of that stupid unconstitutional carry law. Drug dealers and liberal politicians walk the streets untouched, and he has to serve hard time for perforating his own dumb carcass? Burress is guilty of disorderly conduct and unlawful discharge of a firearm; slap him with a heavy fine, a ton of community service, and ninety days in the King George Hotel just so he knows how it feels to be there. And treat anybody else who did what he did the same way. Case closed.
I suppose shooting oneself is a form of self punishment. Football or any game played with a sphere (not involving propellant or primers of course) is a game originally intended for children or adolescents. The adult children who play such games for pay should have to work for thier livings just like a carpenter, a plumber,a mechanic (or me). Yet These overgrown children are indulged and overpaid grossly.
If I don't like the notion of some financial executive who never got his hands dirty getting millions to wear a suit and look authoritarian, I also am disgusted that we still pay people to play GAMES. Plaxico of course demonstrated his childishness by carrying for the sake of his ego and discharging a firearm in a place where booze is served. As I have commented before, don't tell me he can't afford a professional bodyguard with his football millions (apparently he can't afford a belt or a holster either).
True NYC gun laws are stupid and have no relation to reality and true it is unlikely that Plaxico will suffer any sanction more serious than the self inflicted wound, but when are human beings going to wise up? We seem to be getting stupider every year.
I have to worry that with all the recent spree killings those who would disarm us are getting lots of ammunition for those unrealistic gun restrictions...The bad guys get to play and we responsible citizens have to pay...Again!
You think the lawyers needed more time to figure out who gets a cut of the money?
He'll probably end up in Atlanta with the Foulcons (sic). He is the type of player Atlanta loves. He can even carry a gun on the field in the ATL.
There was U-tube video of a Federal agent(of the DEA I believe?)that was giving a classroom presentation in which he shot himself in leg. He was intoxicated, as well. I wonder whatever, if anything, happened to him over that fiasco?
Maybe he can follow OJ's lead and contemplate writing a book. "If I had shot myself in the leg, here's how I would have done it."
We here in OH know that Mr.Burress had previously toiled for the Pittsburg Steelers until the grass was greener in NYC. Maybe Mr. Burress should just hire a bodyguard instead of threatening the safety of himself and others who may be near him when he puts his hands in his pockets. I guess fame will save him from prison but what will save him from himself. How about Mr. Burress do a public service announcement about gun safety? He could say, "Guns and stupid people don't mix."
Buckhunter,
While I admit that I am a fan of "The Darwin Awards", with their stories of idiots who are removed from the gene pool, the truth is that Darwin didn't get anything right...
You gotta wonder how he managed to shoot himself.
Sad fact is; he will end up with a book deal and actually profit from his ignorance.
You’re a prophet, DP. …And you know how the system of power and affluence works.
BTW loved your story on hunting the wounded buffalo in the new F & S. Isn’t it amazing how a hunter will pay to put himself, or herself, in harm’s way? I take it the wounded buffalo story is a case in point of moral obligation.
Too bad that dumbass didnt hit an artery. Everyone would be better off.
Who says America hasn't got the best system of justice that money can buy? DEP, you hit the nail right on the head with your prognostication!
What's surprising to me is the fact that anyone is surprised that this is the way the situation is being handled.
Money baby, money. Justice is blind to the facts when rich folks are involved.
So much wasted talent these days. One day you have the world by the cahones` and then bang you shot yourself at a bar :)
The Judge will probably tell his lawyers to get Burress out of Dodge, or he will make an example of him ... look for him to be picked up by an NFL team sometime after his court date.
Any publicity is good publicity ...
I'm not saying Plaxico is the sharpest knife in the drawer, but the NY city carry law is stupid and unjust. We'll see if the city lays hard time on a man whose crime was shooting himself accidentally, or if NY lets Plaxico walk, thereby putting doubt on the antigun law's essential fairness. I'm loving this whole thing.
Todays star athletes are spoiled and pampered, some starting in high school, esp. in football. They get to slide on classes, they get money, cars, girls, anything they want. Remember Randy Moss? He was in trouble with the law from college and still got drafted high by Minn. and paid big bucks because he could play. They don't feel obligated to follow the rules everyone else does.
You watch, plea-bargain, say I’m sorry with tears flooding the court room, pay a hefty fine and get a slap on the wrist!
What ever happened a year or so ago about a Father shooting an intruder standing over his infants crib? Last I remember, the intruder had a rap sheet a mile long and they where prosecuting the Father for an unlicensed handgun! The family just moved there from Florida and the handgun was legal at that time.
Great footnote, Dave.
As a federal probation/parole officer with more than 23 yrs. of walking the "Halls of Justice", as much injustice happens in the halls as in the courtroom. Any justice system is as imperfect as the society it serves.
Just goes to show why i'd never carry a Glock, no real safety. Anything hit's the trigger and BOOM! I'll stick with my 1911 thank you.
It is embarassing enough to shoot yourself from mis-handling a weapon, he needs to surve some jail time too for his stupidity.
With enough $$$ you can get by with 2 muderers, just ask OJ how to do it.If I lived in NY you can bet your last $ I would carry a guy to defend myself from the likes of those mentioned above.
Gee, what about the rap musician (that's a contradiction in terms) that admitted trying to buy machine guns with silencers? He hasn't spent any time in jail either.
Michael
couldn't resist another comment. I truly wish that Pelosi, Hillary, Schumer, and a few others would be dumped in the middle of New York City's Central Park at midnight with no bodyguards, mace, pepper spray, certainly no guns since they don't believe anyone actually needs them for self-defense, or even a large stick. Any bets on how they would fare before they could get their collective asses out of the park? If they even got out.
Michael
I think NYC is the real culprit -- no matter what I may have said before...
Money and fame buy the justice now days. Personnaly I think that he should get what any Joe Blow would get.
The idiot had the gun in the waist band of his sweat pants while at a NYC nightclub. The gun slipped down into his pants and when he went to grab it the gun went off.
If Plaxico was a member of the NRA he would know the the gun should be licensed, held in a holster and not have a round in the chamber.
Thank God he shot himself and not someone else. Darwin has always gotten it right.
So many of these athletes you see in the news claim they fear for their lives and that they are stalked by fans and the media.
They put themselves in these situations and want us to believe they are the victims, they are victims of their own stupidity and I am better than you attitudes.
This guy is a moron and as stated above he will find a way to make money off of this, if it was a normal person they would have already been done with the court case and they would be in jail or paying heavy fines, because he is a celebrity he gets a free pass.
I just can't help but think what would have happened had he shot someone other than himself.
Wingshooter 54,
I think you've got a great idea for a new reality show! I can't stand those shows generally, but I'd stand in line to see that one! What would we call it -- "Survivor: Central Park"?!?!
NYC is apparently a collection point for morons from all levels of society, from Burress to Bloomberg and quite a few in between.
There is one other thing that I haven't seen brought up in this case. According to New York State Law it is illegal to carry a handgun into a bar. And it doesn't matter if it's registered to you or not.
Burris makes riflescopes, and Burress should makes scopes for his guns that go on backwards. Aim true, Plax!
they aint gonna do a thing to him about carring a gun or shooting him self,,jamal lewis killed a guy and hes still playing football
I thought the first comment was very true. It seems that the rich people can affor do commit a crime because the worse that happens is they pay a couple of lawyers a million dollars have them talk a little then pay bail and leave.
There are two "court systems" here too, if you think I'm wrong just ask O.J. Simpson, Plax will get off maybe even scott free. I mean the only person he atempted to kill was himself.
This guy is an idiot. He shot himself because he was dinking around and trying to show off for some girl. He actually ended up looking like and idiot instead of a superstar. Way to go Plaxico! thanks for the daily dose of stupidity.
The best way to beat a ticket is, change in venue!
GO FIGURE!
Excellent point Ralph the Rifleman. If that DEA agent didn't have to serve time I don't see how Plaxico should either. Especially since the DEA agent was supposed to be teaching a firearms safety class.
Alright alright, enough about NFL thugs and whatever else. Let's hear about rifles.
How about something about super accurate rimfires? How about sheep guns? Goat guns? Varmint guns? Autoloading/slide/lever rifle comparo? I'm really curious as to how the newer semi-auto guns stack up with the old classics. Rifle for turkeys where legal? Best rifle for the impending endtimes?
How about a roundup of the new calibers that have been bestowed upon us in the past few years? What's good, what's useless, what's just a pointless facsimile of an older caliber, what might make an older caliber obsolete, etc.
that was stupid to shoot yourself
Burris will sue Glock, Bloomberg will sue Glock, and the shop that sold Burris the "defective" pistol and lawyers will get most of the money! Why does the three words TAR AND FEATHERS come to mind?
Why is anyone suprised at this comment by Dave. Sen Jim Webb of Va right after his election had his chief aide drop him off at the airport. Sen Webb gave the aide his handgun to take back to the office in DC which is a no no at the time prior to Heller (still is actually.) The aide was arrested and charged with felony handgun charges. 3 months later the charges were quietly dismissed. Just another case of the elite Democrat/ Republican pretending to be a common man to get elected but in reality another elite hypocrite.
he was the best wide receiver for the gaints #17
I am so sick and tired of people who play Pro sports and most politicians, that break the laws of this country and get away with it. The honest Joe like you and me, would be in the crowbar hotel, for J walking or having an over due library book. Hate to tell you folks but it's only going to get worse in this Country. What you thought was wrong is becoming right and what you thought right is becoming wrong.
hey he wouldnt have a problem shooting him self in the leg to get out of the army would he
Life is though!..........It's even tougher when your stupid!
That boy needs to do something about the lack of gray matter.
That just convicted that "Hollywood Guy"(Specter), maybe they'll do the right thing in this case too, doubtful, but hopeful.
Don't blame the Glock, safety lies between your ears. You could shoot yourself just as easily with a Browning designed pistol.
The trigger has a safety built in, just don't put your finger on the trigger until you are ready to shoot, basic gun handling rules.
A Glock needs a holster that protects the trigger from both sides, the owner's manual says it and anyone can see that.
My Glock .45 would be the last gun in my house if it came down to it. I would not trade it for a bucket full of 1911's (bucket-a good place to keep old garbage)!
Dead on! What was the fine Plax paid?
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