By Philip Bourjaily

Because I am poetically challenged, I fobbed the judging of the poetry contest onto my son Gordon, (author of “Flight of the Pellets”) who is home for two weeks in between interning with the Wilderness Society in Washington, D.C. this summer and beginning his junior year of college. Here’s how he judged the contest:

There were a bunch of good poems, to be honest, and three in particular really stood out. ENO's was neat--repetition is always effective, and always hard, and it's handled here well. The poem is formally quite like its subject matter--slow, measured, and dignified. I'm imagining this poem read aloud, and liking it.

Weathered steel in weathered hands…
and a fine walnut stock with a weathered brand.
Side by side two weathered barrels stand…
and side by side walk a dog and an old weathered man.
Through the weathered upland there calls his command…
and a flush is made from a weathered grassy stand.
The bird erupts with its weathered tail fanned…
and the weathered gun is shouldered and fired offhand.
He holds the lifeless bird in his old weathered hand…
and wonders how much longer his weathered steel can withstand.

I also have to give props to Amflyer's poem; it's simple, sweet, and elegant. I'd write more about why I like it, but I like it because of its simplicity--further analysis would kill the golden goose.

Metal burnished by my father’s hand.
Rough, strong hands, red from the cold.
There’s a worn spot on the stock
from some old belt buckle.
“Old Betsy”, “Meat-in-the-pot”, “Lightning;
Many names for one old gun. Each
as worn and as used as the man and his gun.
Its balance is bad, its stock is too short,
It’s a clumsy, awkward thing really.
If I should have found it on a shelf, marked
low for quick sale, I think I would pass.
But in the hands, of that weathered old man,
It grew lively and quick; magical,
Like the man himself.
And if I close my eyes, I can hear
shots in the draw, And watch, as birds
Fall from the sunny sky.

My favorite, though, has got to be ingebritsng's. stream-of-consciousness rant, for a few reasons. First, I really love the way the writing is structured--not in stanzas or lines, but in staccato bursts of thoughts and ideas. I can relate to the poem because I tend to think in that manner too. It helps that I've been in the same situation the poem's describing far too many times. The alliteration is killer (especially friggin flabbergastedness), and really helps propel the language along. By the way, the colorful, creative language really syncs with the overall feel and realism of the poem.

I'm reminded, actually, of ee cummings' great "Buffalo Bill."

Even after taking points off for the phrase, "weapon of death," you do very well sir.
There you have it straight from Gordon, and here is your winner of the first ever Fieldandstream.com Hunting/Shooting Poetry Contest:

KABOOM!!! Ears still ring from that first left barrel fired upwards fiften feet above my head. Fifteen feet to that winged pest that flittered still above me in comparable storm. Fumbling finger finds the back trigger while eye unbeliving watch its feathers shake off my weapon of death like hail in winter.

Nothing! pupil dialate and a look of friggin flabbergastedness settles on barely furry cheeks. Damn it quick u fired on it, fire again while it is still in flight. lever right flip out empties, grab last 2 from old worn belt, next it rests against cheek again and now u slow, take aim, make sure keep both eyes open and slowly pull. Kaboom! Fu#k!
last chance veer into wind-take aim make sure and steady as a rock. kaboom! pellets frisking wing of feathers flitting down in frisky wing. shake of tail and hardly glimmer at the pest down on the earth, flies that dabnaggin dead bird!

Ingebritsng – and I’m guessing that’s not your real name – contact our webmaster, identify yourself and send us your mailing address, and I will send you your Drake Waterfowl Double Banded Blind Bag.

Congratulations, and thanks to all of you who entered.

Comments (15)

from WA Mtnhunter wrote 2 years 40 weeks ago

Congrats! Ing, you da man!

+3 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from ingebrigtsen wrote 2 years 40 weeks ago

Thank u very much, e-mail has been sent with the information. just hope webmaster get it..

Should have seen my flabbergastedness today when i logged in and found out:P

+5 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from deaddiver wrote 2 years 40 weeks ago

nice job everyone and that is one nice waterfowl bag. Whens the next contest??????

+3 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from ranger2 wrote 2 years 40 weeks ago

Very well done... all three captured a different aspect of the vast array of emotions that accompany many of us afield! Well done indeed!

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from shane wrote 2 years 40 weeks ago

Hmm. The Wilderness Society is emailing me constantly. Maybe I should read more of them. What does his internship involve?

+3 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from blueridge wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

I think that your unusual theme of poetry and steel is a welcome thing among hunters...surprisingly. This was delightful.

Thank you.......

Blue

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from duff wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

Congrats to the winners, and as well all the participants and readers. Phil I like your judging method! The evaluation comments are "real".
I'd forgotten about the contest and on seeing the blog this morning, I was excited to see the results. As I mentioned when you posted the challenge, without making it drudgingly repetitious, you should do this (kind of thing)more often.
Thanks!

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from ENO wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

Congrats to ingebrigsten and thanks to Gordon. This was a great idea and a fun contest.

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Jere Smith wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

Good for you Ing! I am not a poet, having written Army Lingo and Bureaucrat crap for over 40 years , I am too old to learn new linguistic skills! But admire people who can.

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from duckcreekdick wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

I think the two runner-ups should get a freebie pocket knife from Phil or Dave for their literary efforts.

+4 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Ricardo Rodríguez wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

Congratulations to the winner. Way to go.

+3 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Zermoid wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

I hope the next contest is something other than poetry, I might actually have a chance!

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from cat fish boz wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

I would like a try at this poety,when is the next contest?I think this poety is good ,but would like to see more.Ps field and stream is a Great read.
cat fish Boz

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Lancette wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

In response to Shane's comment, I would naturally second his inclination he check us out. The Wilderness Society works very hard to conserve land for hunting, fishing and all kinds of other recreational opportunities. As for Gordon's internship, he spent time on Capitol Hill providing information to legislators, wrote press releases, wrote feature stories for our Web site, spoke to journalists and bloggers about our work, and more.

Christopher Lancette
Communications Director
The Wilderness Society (www.wilderness.org)

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from FloridaHunter1226 wrote 2 years 32 weeks ago

Congrats to the winner.... maybe a future Pulitzer Prize winner.

0 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

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from ingebrigtsen wrote 2 years 40 weeks ago

Thank u very much, e-mail has been sent with the information. just hope webmaster get it..

Should have seen my flabbergastedness today when i logged in and found out:P

+5 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from duckcreekdick wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

I think the two runner-ups should get a freebie pocket knife from Phil or Dave for their literary efforts.

+4 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from WA Mtnhunter wrote 2 years 40 weeks ago

Congrats! Ing, you da man!

+3 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from deaddiver wrote 2 years 40 weeks ago

nice job everyone and that is one nice waterfowl bag. Whens the next contest??????

+3 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from shane wrote 2 years 40 weeks ago

Hmm. The Wilderness Society is emailing me constantly. Maybe I should read more of them. What does his internship involve?

+3 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Ricardo Rodríguez wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

Congratulations to the winner. Way to go.

+3 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from ranger2 wrote 2 years 40 weeks ago

Very well done... all three captured a different aspect of the vast array of emotions that accompany many of us afield! Well done indeed!

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from blueridge wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

I think that your unusual theme of poetry and steel is a welcome thing among hunters...surprisingly. This was delightful.

Thank you.......

Blue

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from duff wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

Congrats to the winners, and as well all the participants and readers. Phil I like your judging method! The evaluation comments are "real".
I'd forgotten about the contest and on seeing the blog this morning, I was excited to see the results. As I mentioned when you posted the challenge, without making it drudgingly repetitious, you should do this (kind of thing)more often.
Thanks!

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from ENO wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

Congrats to ingebrigsten and thanks to Gordon. This was a great idea and a fun contest.

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Jere Smith wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

Good for you Ing! I am not a poet, having written Army Lingo and Bureaucrat crap for over 40 years , I am too old to learn new linguistic skills! But admire people who can.

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Zermoid wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

I hope the next contest is something other than poetry, I might actually have a chance!

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from cat fish boz wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

I would like a try at this poety,when is the next contest?I think this poety is good ,but would like to see more.Ps field and stream is a Great read.
cat fish Boz

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Lancette wrote 2 years 39 weeks ago

In response to Shane's comment, I would naturally second his inclination he check us out. The Wilderness Society works very hard to conserve land for hunting, fishing and all kinds of other recreational opportunities. As for Gordon's internship, he spent time on Capitol Hill providing information to legislators, wrote press releases, wrote feature stories for our Web site, spoke to journalists and bloggers about our work, and more.

Christopher Lancette
Communications Director
The Wilderness Society (www.wilderness.org)

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from FloridaHunter1226 wrote 2 years 32 weeks ago

Congrats to the winner.... maybe a future Pulitzer Prize winner.

0 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

Post a Comment

 

All submitted comments are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.