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Final Proof that We’ve Gone Nuts

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April 16, 2012

Final Proof that We’ve Gone Nuts

By David E. Petzal

This has absolutely nothing to do with guns, or shooting, but since many of you share a similar world view, I thought you’d be interested. For roughly 30 years, I’ve been a more or less regular blood donor. It’s one of the worthwhile things you can do, and I figure if they want my blood, they must really need it.

Hitherto, all my bleeding has been done for the New York Blood Center, which is state-run. But there was a drive nearby run by the Red Cross, so I figured I might as well exsanguinate for them. It was held at a high school gym, which was packed with kids who were donating, and the atmosphere was fouled by s***y music being played at deafening volume, which apparently does not bother the kids.

When you donate blood, you go through an interview on your health history, and then you get to bleed. I was almost done with the interview when the young vampire girl asked me if I was pregnant.

For a moment I thought my hearing aids had been shorted out by the s****y music.

“What did you just say?,” I asked her.

“Are you pregnant?,” she said.

I waited for her to smile and let me in on the joke. She did not smile. She sat there patiently with my form and her pencil, waiting to enter whether I was pregnant or not.

Slipping into shock, I said that I was not, and doddered off to let a needle-wielding vampire suck a pint of my blood.

As the last drop was coaxed into the plastic bag, I asked the needle vampire why I had been asked if I was with child, despite the very high odds against it.

“The Food and Drug Administration has control over these donations,” she said. “They don’t tell the New York Blood Center what to do. They give us a list of questions we have to ask, and can’t ask.”

I said I understood, and shuffled off to grow some more blood. I can hardly wait for the questions I’ll get next time.

Comments (51)

Top Rated
All Comments
from Happy Myles wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Gee Dave, it is a sensitive issue, but maybe next time you should dress differently.

+13 Good Comment? | | Report
from 1uglymutha wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

only a beaurocrat would ask a man if he was pregnant.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from somethingclever wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

"No, but I'm currently breastfeeding."

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Tom-Tom wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Common sense and guv'mint agencies seldom belong in the same sentence.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Tim Platt wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

I am actually pretty ambivalent about the feds today, if only because I can wait until tomorrow to send in my five figure check to support illegitimate welfare babies and English as a Second Language classes.....

I have O negative blood so the Red Cross has my number on speed dial because it is the universal donor. They have yet to ask me about the state of my uterus or lack thereof. It must be an oversight and I should contact the FDA immediately and tell them the barefoot hillbillies in Tennessee are doing it all wrong and must be fined or at the very least sent to New York to be re-trained. Thank god for the update Dave.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from Montanagyrene wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

At least out HERE in the 'flyover' states of MT and ID, where I used to and now currently live, that question is preceded by 'For women only', and I think just about ANYONE would have a hard time thinking I'm female, even if I dressed up like one (think a Caucasian version of Bubba Smith in the park on the 'Police Academy' series!!)

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Dave, If I were you, I would start packing a bigger conceal carry.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from BaboosicBomb wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Tom-tom: Unless you put the words "has nothing to do with and is completely seperate from" between them.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from northernminneso... wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

This reminds me of when I was scheduled to have a pregnancy test. I don't know if it is good or bad that the nurses were hesitant to have me take it.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from SD Bob wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

I was asked the same question when I was selling my semen for beer money while attending college.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Longbeard wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

"why? Am I showing?"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bassman06 wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Bah, I'm not allowed. I was born overseas. It's not difficult to forget, I'm scared of needles!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from O Garcia wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

I can't believe "Junior" was shown that many years ago already. Arnold was on his way down, doing yet another comedy, Danny DeVito, well, he was being Danny DeVito, and Emma Thompson basically scuttled her career and threw away all those Oscar nominations for a chance to do a comedy where men get pregnant.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Reminds me of the movie "The Crying Game." I was half gassed and knew nothing about the flick when I went to see it. Whoa, was that a mistake!! Some young fella falls madly in love with a knock-out young lady only to discover in the crucial moment at the height of passion that ... uh ... well let's just say he was greatly surprised. And so was I. My chin hit my chest so hard that it took several minutes to get my breath back. Glad I wasn't the only one running for the exit. So, while it's not likely some grizzled old fart like Dave might actually be a clandestine sitter rather than a squirter, after seeing that movie I'm ready to believe anything is possible. By the way, Canada's entry in the Miss Universe contest was just cleared for competition by Donald Trump who owns the contest. The contestant in question (pun intended) is a very attractive transexual. Ah, only in Canada!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from dickgun wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

DP,
Be content they did not ask if, or what kind of adult beverage you consume. Some may need a little 'stimulus' from their blood donor.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Longbeard wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

yes, Dave, very un-PC of you (but of course eminently pragmatic, which puts you completely out of step with today's gender-switching mixed-ups). The former president of my freshman class at a famous historic military college has recently gone public with his/her complete physical transformation to a woman. Weird enough, but he and his girlfriend are still an item. I am fairly tolerant of "alternative" lifestyles, but that one just leaves me confused.

As for blood giving, I wish I could. Used to every year until I got hepatitis as a complication to mononucleosis. Now even the vampires give me the short shrift. Works better than garlic.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from briarfire007 wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

DP,
I am so glad you posted this. At the end of a long day it was just what I needed. All I can say in response is HA HA HA HA! Good grief!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Carney wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

DP, you should have asked what questions they "aren't allowed to ask"!!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MReeder wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Government is by its very nature nuts. The difference between now and when those of us on the high side of 50 grew up is that government is so large, so intrusive and so involved in every single facet of our lives now that there's no escape from it. That, and the fact that so many moderns are perfectly happy to sell their freedom for a little safety or security. They would be well advised to consult Ben Franklin on that score, but then they probably wouldn't know who the hell he was.
As economist Milton Friedman famously said, markets are smart and government is dumb. The bigger and more inescapable government becomes the dumber and more odious it behaves. Look on the bright side, Dave. If the Mayor of New York City had his way, you would have had to have your blood cleansed of salt before it was acceptable...

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Douglas wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

There is a purpose for that music. It gets your blood hot so it runs faster thru those hardened arteries.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from firedog11 wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

I consider this insanity of whether a man donating blood is pregnant to be equivalent with the most infamous government question which attempts to pigeon hole me into a race or a color. Since I am not white but a light brown I infuriate the government by listing "other" with American as the race. I actually have been berated by so called government servants for refusing to change the form. We are all laughing about the pregnancy question but it is only going to get worse. This stupidity is what is starting to get people killed due to political correctness.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Moose1980 wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Every time I read or hear about something like this, I think of Looney Tunes! Too funny, thanks for sharing.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Quahog wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Sounds like you need Secret Service protection, Dave.
Don't drop your glasses or lean over when they arrive.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Oryx wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

DEP,you should have fixed the young lass with your steely glare and replied, "Only with inelegant and corporeal thoughts of you, my dear."

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from T.W. Davidson wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

And Mr. Petzal, without missing a beat, replied to the young woman's question, "Why yes, I am pregnant, thank you for noticing. I'm due in six weeks. Would you like to feel the baby?"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Happy, you're killing me! LOL!

Cheers

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from davidpetzal wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

To Oryx: From the little I know of high-school kids, once you get beyond "a, an, the, you know," and "like," you're dealing in a foreign language. Use "inelegant" and "corporeal" and you might as well be speaking Sanskrit.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

@ Quahog

Thought of you while watching 'Wicked Tuna' on the TV the other night. Best regards

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Happy Myles wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Dave,
Loved your usage of the great word, exsanguinate. Have not seen it used in ages. Maybe William Holden's autopsy report? ... probably time for me to absquatulate.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from davidpetzal wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

To Happy Myles: I miss William Holden, not only for his ability as an actor but for the fact that when he received his Academy Award (for Stalag 17) he went up to the lectern, took the Oscar, said "Thank you," and left.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from blackhawkbill wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

I'm impressed that at your age they will take your blood. You have done a great job taking good care of your health.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from NHshtr wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Dave,

Astute of you to realize that most (I wish all) of us would consider this an A-H question of a bearded guy wearing boots and a flannel shirt. Obviously not the most haute couture for a pregnant guy.

BTW, me thinks that whomever gets your blood will get an unexplainable urge to buy a vintage 1911.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hutter wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Maybe you should loose a few pounds Dave !

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from hutter wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Maybe you should loose a few pounds Dave !

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from FirstBubba wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Comment No. 1:

I'm reminded of the mother-to-be in Canada who, upon figuring out she was pregnant, contacted her Gov't health care provider, only to be told it would take "10 months" to get her in to see a doctor!!! LOL!!!

Comment No. 2:

The 9 scariest words in America:
"I'm with the Gov't and I'm here to help!"

Comment No. 3:

FEMA - Fix Everything My A$$

Bubba

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from deadeyedick wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

NO OFFENSE MEANT, BUT GEE WHIZ DAVE, YOU JUST AREN'T THAT GOOD LOOKING. HARDY HAR, HAR. GIVING BLOOD IS GREAT THING TO DO EVEN IF WE HAVE TO ANSWER GOOFY QUESTIONS.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ralph the Rifleman wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Nice read Dave, now I'll re-read it under the influence..

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from O Garcia wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

the guy who receives DP's blood will end up with Elisha Cuthbert.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from O Garcia wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Elisha = Old Testament prophet
Cuthbert = Anglo-Saxon monk and saint

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from johnl_19 wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

I'd have told the girl she's stupid and left. Why should anyone subject themselves to this moronic idiocy for the pleasure of making a DONATION?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from davidpetzal wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

to johnl_19: At the risk of sounding self-righteous, I get no pleasure out of giving blood, mostly because I have to ask the vampires, over and over, to speak loud enough for me to hear them. The all-time record for one donation is seven. Why tell the poor girl she's stupid? All it would do is make her feel bad, and she still has to ask the same question of the next man. It's not her fault.

Only 3 out of every 100 people give blood. Operations in which 15 and 30 pints are used up are not at all uncommon, never mind accidents. Hospitals are always desperate for it. Who cares if you have a good time?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from mike55 wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

All kidding aside, donating blood is one of the easiest things one can do to preserve your health. The reason is that if our bodies absorb to much iron, it puts into storage and it's the stored iron that can kill you! Once stored, our bodies can't excrete it, it has to be bled out. I was shocked when I learned of this. I remember the old Geritol commercials with the iron poor blood. It took the FDA about 7-8 yrs. to get them to pull their ads. You should never supplement iron without out having your ferritin level checked first. Ferritin is the best indicator of stored iron. Serum iron is a totally different thing. Many MD's incorrectly asumme that if a patient ia anemic it must be from iron deficiency. There are many different anemia's, but only one is from iron deficiency. Doctors in five different states almost killed the author of the book,"The Iron Elephant",and founder of the Iron Overload Disease Assoc., giving her iron supplements for her anemia and nobody checked her ferritin first. She had an iron loading anemia, where the more iron you load the worst your anemia gets. Read the first few chapters in her book, any library can obtain a copy for you if they don't have it in their collection. The #1 cause of accidental poisoning in young children is from iron poisoning where they get into their parent's iron supplements or multi-vitamins with iron, eat a bunch of it and it poisones them. Many times those supplements wern't needed in the first place because nobody checked their ferritin first. Excess stored iron will wreck your organs, your joints, all cancer needs iron to thrive and can cause some out right. Many pathogens need iron to thrive and it can even cause impotence!! There's a lot of dated info out there on iron overload because it doesn't fall under any medical specialty and frankly there's not a lot of money to be made sucking blood out of people. I get some serious symptoms at one-tenth to one-twelth of what some labs are still calling normal ferritin for men! Probably wouldn't be here right now if I hadn't accidently picked up a book on mens health that had a chapter on it. Check out the web sites, "ironoverload.org" and "irondisorders.org/iron-overload" for more info on the subject. I could write more on this subject if anyones interested.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mwallred wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Didn't you notice that they also asked you what your gender was? Because of political correctness, you can tell them either one, regardless of what parts you were born with. If you consider yourself a man, then as far as they're concerned you are a man. If you're really a woman, you could still be pregnant.

So, they have to ask.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Trapper Vic wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

DP, could have been the man boobies. Might need to firm up bud!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Zermoid wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

I wonder, do they ask gals if they have any prostrate problems?

I've never donated, they don't want my blood, I'm on too many drugs for all my health problems and pumping my blood into someone else might kill them!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mcrumrine wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

I used to donate fairly regularly then I served in the military oversees. Because I was ineurope during the 80's and 90's while there was an outbreak of mad cow disease they no longer want my blood, even though I am one of the types they always seem to be short of.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from O Garcia wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Zermoid,

yeah, they usually ask you if you're currently having medication, because the medicine you take could cause severe allergic reaction in the blood's recipient.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Nyflyangler wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

So what?

Asking everyone is far simpler than having to determine the gender of someone whose ambiguous and then having to deal with the repercussions of getting it wrong. Like assuming a fat woman is pregnant and asking her the due date.

They say the brain is the first thing to go and Dave regularly proves it.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Montanagyrene wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

I forgot my OTHER favorite question-"Have you ever given anyone money or drugs for sex?" I always answered 'Not unless you count my WIFE and my PAYCHECK!" Usually good for at LEAST a BIG smile!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from dale freeman wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

It's kinda like where they ask you sex and there's never enough romm to write "sometimes".

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from WI Hunter 33 wrote 1 year 39 weeks ago

wow..thats all i have to say lol

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from Happy Myles wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Gee Dave, it is a sensitive issue, but maybe next time you should dress differently.

+13 Good Comment? | | Report
from Tim Platt wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

I am actually pretty ambivalent about the feds today, if only because I can wait until tomorrow to send in my five figure check to support illegitimate welfare babies and English as a Second Language classes.....

I have O negative blood so the Red Cross has my number on speed dial because it is the universal donor. They have yet to ask me about the state of my uterus or lack thereof. It must be an oversight and I should contact the FDA immediately and tell them the barefoot hillbillies in Tennessee are doing it all wrong and must be fined or at the very least sent to New York to be re-trained. Thank god for the update Dave.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from 1uglymutha wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

only a beaurocrat would ask a man if he was pregnant.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from somethingclever wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

"No, but I'm currently breastfeeding."

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from MReeder wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Government is by its very nature nuts. The difference between now and when those of us on the high side of 50 grew up is that government is so large, so intrusive and so involved in every single facet of our lives now that there's no escape from it. That, and the fact that so many moderns are perfectly happy to sell their freedom for a little safety or security. They would be well advised to consult Ben Franklin on that score, but then they probably wouldn't know who the hell he was.
As economist Milton Friedman famously said, markets are smart and government is dumb. The bigger and more inescapable government becomes the dumber and more odious it behaves. Look on the bright side, Dave. If the Mayor of New York City had his way, you would have had to have your blood cleansed of salt before it was acceptable...

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from firedog11 wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

I consider this insanity of whether a man donating blood is pregnant to be equivalent with the most infamous government question which attempts to pigeon hole me into a race or a color. Since I am not white but a light brown I infuriate the government by listing "other" with American as the race. I actually have been berated by so called government servants for refusing to change the form. We are all laughing about the pregnancy question but it is only going to get worse. This stupidity is what is starting to get people killed due to political correctness.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from davidpetzal wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

To Oryx: From the little I know of high-school kids, once you get beyond "a, an, the, you know," and "like," you're dealing in a foreign language. Use "inelegant" and "corporeal" and you might as well be speaking Sanskrit.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from davidpetzal wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

To Happy Myles: I miss William Holden, not only for his ability as an actor but for the fact that when he received his Academy Award (for Stalag 17) he went up to the lectern, took the Oscar, said "Thank you," and left.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Tom-Tom wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Common sense and guv'mint agencies seldom belong in the same sentence.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Dave, If I were you, I would start packing a bigger conceal carry.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Carney wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

DP, you should have asked what questions they "aren't allowed to ask"!!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Oryx wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

DEP,you should have fixed the young lass with your steely glare and replied, "Only with inelegant and corporeal thoughts of you, my dear."

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Happy Myles wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Dave,
Loved your usage of the great word, exsanguinate. Have not seen it used in ages. Maybe William Holden's autopsy report? ... probably time for me to absquatulate.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from NHshtr wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Dave,

Astute of you to realize that most (I wish all) of us would consider this an A-H question of a bearded guy wearing boots and a flannel shirt. Obviously not the most haute couture for a pregnant guy.

BTW, me thinks that whomever gets your blood will get an unexplainable urge to buy a vintage 1911.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from O Garcia wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

the guy who receives DP's blood will end up with Elisha Cuthbert.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from davidpetzal wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

to johnl_19: At the risk of sounding self-righteous, I get no pleasure out of giving blood, mostly because I have to ask the vampires, over and over, to speak loud enough for me to hear them. The all-time record for one donation is seven. Why tell the poor girl she's stupid? All it would do is make her feel bad, and she still has to ask the same question of the next man. It's not her fault.

Only 3 out of every 100 people give blood. Operations in which 15 and 30 pints are used up are not at all uncommon, never mind accidents. Hospitals are always desperate for it. Who cares if you have a good time?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Nyflyangler wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

So what?

Asking everyone is far simpler than having to determine the gender of someone whose ambiguous and then having to deal with the repercussions of getting it wrong. Like assuming a fat woman is pregnant and asking her the due date.

They say the brain is the first thing to go and Dave regularly proves it.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Montanagyrene wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

At least out HERE in the 'flyover' states of MT and ID, where I used to and now currently live, that question is preceded by 'For women only', and I think just about ANYONE would have a hard time thinking I'm female, even if I dressed up like one (think a Caucasian version of Bubba Smith in the park on the 'Police Academy' series!!)

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from BaboosicBomb wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Tom-tom: Unless you put the words "has nothing to do with and is completely seperate from" between them.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from northernminneso... wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

This reminds me of when I was scheduled to have a pregnancy test. I don't know if it is good or bad that the nurses were hesitant to have me take it.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from SD Bob wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

I was asked the same question when I was selling my semen for beer money while attending college.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Longbeard wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

"why? Am I showing?"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bassman06 wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Bah, I'm not allowed. I was born overseas. It's not difficult to forget, I'm scared of needles!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from O Garcia wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

I can't believe "Junior" was shown that many years ago already. Arnold was on his way down, doing yet another comedy, Danny DeVito, well, he was being Danny DeVito, and Emma Thompson basically scuttled her career and threw away all those Oscar nominations for a chance to do a comedy where men get pregnant.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Reminds me of the movie "The Crying Game." I was half gassed and knew nothing about the flick when I went to see it. Whoa, was that a mistake!! Some young fella falls madly in love with a knock-out young lady only to discover in the crucial moment at the height of passion that ... uh ... well let's just say he was greatly surprised. And so was I. My chin hit my chest so hard that it took several minutes to get my breath back. Glad I wasn't the only one running for the exit. So, while it's not likely some grizzled old fart like Dave might actually be a clandestine sitter rather than a squirter, after seeing that movie I'm ready to believe anything is possible. By the way, Canada's entry in the Miss Universe contest was just cleared for competition by Donald Trump who owns the contest. The contestant in question (pun intended) is a very attractive transexual. Ah, only in Canada!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from dickgun wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

DP,
Be content they did not ask if, or what kind of adult beverage you consume. Some may need a little 'stimulus' from their blood donor.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Longbeard wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

yes, Dave, very un-PC of you (but of course eminently pragmatic, which puts you completely out of step with today's gender-switching mixed-ups). The former president of my freshman class at a famous historic military college has recently gone public with his/her complete physical transformation to a woman. Weird enough, but he and his girlfriend are still an item. I am fairly tolerant of "alternative" lifestyles, but that one just leaves me confused.

As for blood giving, I wish I could. Used to every year until I got hepatitis as a complication to mononucleosis. Now even the vampires give me the short shrift. Works better than garlic.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from briarfire007 wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

DP,
I am so glad you posted this. At the end of a long day it was just what I needed. All I can say in response is HA HA HA HA! Good grief!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Douglas wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

There is a purpose for that music. It gets your blood hot so it runs faster thru those hardened arteries.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Moose1980 wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Every time I read or hear about something like this, I think of Looney Tunes! Too funny, thanks for sharing.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Quahog wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Sounds like you need Secret Service protection, Dave.
Don't drop your glasses or lean over when they arrive.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from T.W. Davidson wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

And Mr. Petzal, without missing a beat, replied to the young woman's question, "Why yes, I am pregnant, thank you for noticing. I'm due in six weeks. Would you like to feel the baby?"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

Happy, you're killing me! LOL!

Cheers

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 1 year 52 weeks ago

@ Quahog

Thought of you while watching 'Wicked Tuna' on the TV the other night. Best regards

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from blackhawkbill wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

I'm impressed that at your age they will take your blood. You have done a great job taking good care of your health.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from hutter wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Maybe you should loose a few pounds Dave !

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from hutter wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Maybe you should loose a few pounds Dave !

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from FirstBubba wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Comment No. 1:

I'm reminded of the mother-to-be in Canada who, upon figuring out she was pregnant, contacted her Gov't health care provider, only to be told it would take "10 months" to get her in to see a doctor!!! LOL!!!

Comment No. 2:

The 9 scariest words in America:
"I'm with the Gov't and I'm here to help!"

Comment No. 3:

FEMA - Fix Everything My A$$

Bubba

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from deadeyedick wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

NO OFFENSE MEANT, BUT GEE WHIZ DAVE, YOU JUST AREN'T THAT GOOD LOOKING. HARDY HAR, HAR. GIVING BLOOD IS GREAT THING TO DO EVEN IF WE HAVE TO ANSWER GOOFY QUESTIONS.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ralph the Rifleman wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Nice read Dave, now I'll re-read it under the influence..

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from O Garcia wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Elisha = Old Testament prophet
Cuthbert = Anglo-Saxon monk and saint

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from johnl_19 wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

I'd have told the girl she's stupid and left. Why should anyone subject themselves to this moronic idiocy for the pleasure of making a DONATION?

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from mike55 wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

All kidding aside, donating blood is one of the easiest things one can do to preserve your health. The reason is that if our bodies absorb to much iron, it puts into storage and it's the stored iron that can kill you! Once stored, our bodies can't excrete it, it has to be bled out. I was shocked when I learned of this. I remember the old Geritol commercials with the iron poor blood. It took the FDA about 7-8 yrs. to get them to pull their ads. You should never supplement iron without out having your ferritin level checked first. Ferritin is the best indicator of stored iron. Serum iron is a totally different thing. Many MD's incorrectly asumme that if a patient ia anemic it must be from iron deficiency. There are many different anemia's, but only one is from iron deficiency. Doctors in five different states almost killed the author of the book,"The Iron Elephant",and founder of the Iron Overload Disease Assoc., giving her iron supplements for her anemia and nobody checked her ferritin first. She had an iron loading anemia, where the more iron you load the worst your anemia gets. Read the first few chapters in her book, any library can obtain a copy for you if they don't have it in their collection. The #1 cause of accidental poisoning in young children is from iron poisoning where they get into their parent's iron supplements or multi-vitamins with iron, eat a bunch of it and it poisones them. Many times those supplements wern't needed in the first place because nobody checked their ferritin first. Excess stored iron will wreck your organs, your joints, all cancer needs iron to thrive and can cause some out right. Many pathogens need iron to thrive and it can even cause impotence!! There's a lot of dated info out there on iron overload because it doesn't fall under any medical specialty and frankly there's not a lot of money to be made sucking blood out of people. I get some serious symptoms at one-tenth to one-twelth of what some labs are still calling normal ferritin for men! Probably wouldn't be here right now if I hadn't accidently picked up a book on mens health that had a chapter on it. Check out the web sites, "ironoverload.org" and "irondisorders.org/iron-overload" for more info on the subject. I could write more on this subject if anyones interested.

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from mwallred wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Didn't you notice that they also asked you what your gender was? Because of political correctness, you can tell them either one, regardless of what parts you were born with. If you consider yourself a man, then as far as they're concerned you are a man. If you're really a woman, you could still be pregnant.

So, they have to ask.

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from Trapper Vic wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

DP, could have been the man boobies. Might need to firm up bud!

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from Zermoid wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

I wonder, do they ask gals if they have any prostrate problems?

I've never donated, they don't want my blood, I'm on too many drugs for all my health problems and pumping my blood into someone else might kill them!

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from mcrumrine wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

I used to donate fairly regularly then I served in the military oversees. Because I was ineurope during the 80's and 90's while there was an outbreak of mad cow disease they no longer want my blood, even though I am one of the types they always seem to be short of.

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from O Garcia wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

Zermoid,

yeah, they usually ask you if you're currently having medication, because the medicine you take could cause severe allergic reaction in the blood's recipient.

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from Montanagyrene wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

I forgot my OTHER favorite question-"Have you ever given anyone money or drugs for sex?" I always answered 'Not unless you count my WIFE and my PAYCHECK!" Usually good for at LEAST a BIG smile!!

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from dale freeman wrote 1 year 51 weeks ago

It's kinda like where they ask you sex and there's never enough romm to write "sometimes".

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from WI Hunter 33 wrote 1 year 39 weeks ago

wow..thats all i have to say lol

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