May 24, 2012
Nonsense Product Names: WEN Will it All End?
By David E. Petzal
Well, there I was sitting at the old Mac, trying to work instead of listening to bluegrass, when I got a press release announcing that Redfield now has a scope out called the “Revenge.” I thought this was a pretty odd name to give an optical sight, but then I remembered that last year, Winchester came out with an all-copper bullet called Power Core, which has no core, so I guess the rules about product names have been relaxed.
But then, just a moment ago, I received word of a new crossbow called the Barnett Vengeance. Vengeance on what? The last time a crossbow was used in an act of vengeance was on March 25, 1199 when Richard the Lionheart, King of England, was killed by crossbow bolt to the neck that was fired by a French boy who claimed that Richard had killed his father and brothers.
Will we now see bumper stickers that read “Payback is a bodkin head?” or “That bolt from the blue is meant for you.”? Will we have to listen to Rachel Maddow screeching about crossbows you can sneak past metal detectors?
As if this weren’t bad enough, there now are ads running on the various cable channels I watch for a shampoo called WEN. I don’t know what marketing genius thought this one up, but “wen” is an archaic English word for a cyst, usually on the neck or face, as in “Will you look at the wen on King Richard’s neck? That thing’s big enough to hit with a crossbow bolt.”
On the other hand, maybe I should just listen to bluegrass more.