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How to Choose a Fishing Guide Based on the Condition of His Truck

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October 18, 2011

How to Choose a Fishing Guide Based on the Condition of His Truck

By Joe Cermele

Last July, while backing my float boat into the river at a tight ramp, I made the mistake of focusing only on my side-view mirrors and not watching my front end. Next thing I know, there's a nice little paint scrape on the bumper thanks to a tree stump (below). It's one of those truck wounds that's not so bad I feel the need to dump buckets of money to fix it, and it's not so terrible that it bothers me every day. But over the weekend a buddy of mine saw it and said, "wow, you should really take better care of your truck." I probably should. At the same time, I look at a truck as another tool that is going to get somewhat messed up if you're using it properly. Take the trucks of fishing guides, for example.

I fish with a ton of guides, and over the years I have made an observation that so far has held 100% true. The trucks of the guides that catch the most fish feature one or more of the following:

A cracked or chipped windshield

An illuminated "Check Engine" light

Floor mats that reek of old, dried coffee

Flies hooked directly into the ceiling liner

A trailer ball and hitch receiver with some degree of rust

One door that no longer opens from the inside

You might think I'm joking, but take notice of your guide's ride next time you hire one. If he/she picks you up in a flashy, new Escalade or tells says you can't eat/drink/smoke/chew in the truck, consider bolting and hiring someone else. If the truck features any criteria from the list above, you're probably going to catch lots of fish. As for my truck, I'll leave the scrape for now. Maybe it'll help me catch the same amount of fish as a full-time guide.

 

 

Comments (21)

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from Koldkut wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

Scrapes on the bumper don't count Joe, that's what a bumper is for....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from M_Rothwell wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

To the SPAM POSTER. You HAVE NO DIGNITY!!! Why do you even think for ONE MINUTE that ANYONE is going to check out your website when you are nothing more than SPAM!?

Go find somewhere else to post your GARBAGE. I've reported you AGAIN to F&S editor in hopes you will be BLOCKED. You have NO VALUE to these forum comments WHATSOEVER!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from ilikehunting wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

Sweet! I ran my jeeps passenger side into a tree and recently laid the front on the frame (doing aforementioned looking out of only one set of mirrors). Hopefully the fish take note.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ckRich wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

Psssh... thats barely a smudge.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bryan01 wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I'd be willing to bet that the guides who drive shiny new Escalades not only catch fewer fish but also charge higher fees

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jbird wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I recently was having a conversation about my dreams for a new truck, and my 14 year old Daughter said "Dad, are you gonna' take your new truck through all the mud and woods that you take this truck?" (meaning my current hunting buggy), and I said "Of course", then she said "but you're gonna' mess it all up like this one!" which I replied- "It's a truck, that is what I use a truck for, if I can't hunt or fish in it, I don't want it". She was baffled.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Proverbs wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

That paint appears to be Silver Streak Mica. The high-tech poly material used in your bumper can be smoothed very easily with 400 grit wet. The whole job, including airbrush paint, can be professionaly done for about $150.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I use to own the perfect truck. It fit all of your criteria except the check engine light. (serious loss of man points of you can't fix your engine). It had traveled from Miami to Northern Manitoba and from Hilton Head to SW Colorado in search of fish and game. Had hauled more dead deer, elk, bear than I care to admit. I would go years without washing her and she still looked pretty.

In July my son decided it looked better wrapped around another truck. Glad everyone is ok but I am learning a good truck is hard to replace.

While cleaning it out at the junkyard I discovered an unbelieveable amount of shells and bullets that have rolled under the seats.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Plotner wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

well maybye i should use my dads honda wwhen i am old enough a '89 with a huge dent in the drivers side door the back doors only compleatly shut when you hit them and the rear bumper is held up with rachet straps. and thats just the beggining

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from fliphuntr14 wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I prefer to spend my money on good rods, guns, stands and wadders. It helps that I have a few good mechanics in the family. That said someday I want a good reliable car and the notes on guides are duly noted. lol

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mexhunter wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

my ussual guide tells me to meet him in a gas station so i cant really see his car.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Riverrat57 wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I used to splice telephone cables. They are full of a waterproofing substance called "icky pic". It's like a combination of vaseline and elmers glue. Almost impossible to wipe off. I found that the best way to deal with it is just go ahead and smear it all over your hands and forearms before you even start working. I treat my truck the same way. Don't even try to keep it clean, new looking or smelling good. Just dive right in to the fishing. It isn't going to be worth any less at trade-in time just because of the scratches, dents & that fishy smell.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Tom-Tom wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I met one of the new breed of fishing guides on the White River last month. The guy looked like he came directly from the Cabelas store, had three spools of leader hanging on his shiney jacket, flies here and there, hat clean and creased, and complete with manicured nails topped with clear polish. His boat was immaculate and a "no smoking please" sign adorned the seats. His ride was already parked somewhere so we didn't see it.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from rdorman wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

interesting joe, it makes sense, cause anyone who goes fishing knows, sometimes you find yourself driving on some "roads" that are less than desirable

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Brett D. Haynes wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

Yea a good friend of mine that guides and can catch alot of fish all of his doors on his SUV except his won't open from the outside. How true how true.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Man Wall wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

My dad would vigilantly scrub down the truck every weekend so that he could drive it to work on Monday. By which I mean he'd drink a beer and tell me which part to scrub for a few hours every weekend..

http://www.ManWall.com

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from 2lb.test wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

This post is not a knock against fly fishing or fly fisherman. My fishing buddy and I spend most of our free time in the summer backpack fishing South Carolina's 200 some odd miles of trout streams. (There are mountains and wild trout in SC). Our trucks are dirty, scratched, and full of red bull cans, spit cups, and gas station food wrappers, and often reek of fish. We use ultralight spinning tackle primarily (think drifting, not little spinners).
One weekend we decided to take another fellow along who is only acquainted with us because his girlfriend always brings him around to social gatherings and he talks up his fly-fishing skills.
We wore old sneakers and shorts, he wore fancy waders. He had the vest and the hat, we had backpacks full of snacks and drift fishing gear. We couldn't smoke or chew in his truck. We caught a limit in an hour (we throw 'em back most times, so we can keep fishing) he didn't catch squat. He hasn't asked to go with us again.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Montanagyrene wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

@ 2lb test-I'm not SURE I'd even LET someone like that go with us, even if he DID ask!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bonk wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

This is funny because I had a guide for a hog hunting trip show up 4 hrs late in his what appeared to be new Mersaedes car wearing his midlife crisis Harley Davidson garb. To say the least that was the worst hunting experiece with a guide that I have ever experienced. This joker did not deliver. Thats a great point, when a person shows up in his work clothes then usally thats what he's there for. This joker showed up to collect the money, he could have cared less about putting us on the hogs. Beware of the well dressed and flashy.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from shane wrote 1 year 33 weeks ago

Amen. It's a bonus if you think you're gonna die in their boat at one point or another.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jr_armstrong wrote 1 year 31 weeks ago

I have a buddy bought a new Trailblazer when they first came out(few years back). He put a brush guard on the front and on his taillights has never taken the SUV to the lake or the woods.On the other hand when I worked at a
huge automotive repair shop,they had two S10 blazer for parts vehicles.I was in charge of keeping them clean,so I washed them clean the interior with armor all. One Monday after a holiday weekend I saw one of the Blazers covered with dried . You could only see the front windshield where the wipers had wiped the mud off. I opened the door and there was mud on the floorboard, dog hair,saliva on the p/s seat and dash. I ask the owner of the shop what happened to the blazer and he replied I went hunting.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from M_Rothwell wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

To the SPAM POSTER. You HAVE NO DIGNITY!!! Why do you even think for ONE MINUTE that ANYONE is going to check out your website when you are nothing more than SPAM!?

Go find somewhere else to post your GARBAGE. I've reported you AGAIN to F&S editor in hopes you will be BLOCKED. You have NO VALUE to these forum comments WHATSOEVER!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from jbird wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I recently was having a conversation about my dreams for a new truck, and my 14 year old Daughter said "Dad, are you gonna' take your new truck through all the mud and woods that you take this truck?" (meaning my current hunting buggy), and I said "Of course", then she said "but you're gonna' mess it all up like this one!" which I replied- "It's a truck, that is what I use a truck for, if I can't hunt or fish in it, I don't want it". She was baffled.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ckRich wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

Psssh... thats barely a smudge.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from mexhunter wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

my ussual guide tells me to meet him in a gas station so i cant really see his car.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Tom-Tom wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I met one of the new breed of fishing guides on the White River last month. The guy looked like he came directly from the Cabelas store, had three spools of leader hanging on his shiney jacket, flies here and there, hat clean and creased, and complete with manicured nails topped with clear polish. His boat was immaculate and a "no smoking please" sign adorned the seats. His ride was already parked somewhere so we didn't see it.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from rdorman wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

interesting joe, it makes sense, cause anyone who goes fishing knows, sometimes you find yourself driving on some "roads" that are less than desirable

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from 2lb.test wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

This post is not a knock against fly fishing or fly fisherman. My fishing buddy and I spend most of our free time in the summer backpack fishing South Carolina's 200 some odd miles of trout streams. (There are mountains and wild trout in SC). Our trucks are dirty, scratched, and full of red bull cans, spit cups, and gas station food wrappers, and often reek of fish. We use ultralight spinning tackle primarily (think drifting, not little spinners).
One weekend we decided to take another fellow along who is only acquainted with us because his girlfriend always brings him around to social gatherings and he talks up his fly-fishing skills.
We wore old sneakers and shorts, he wore fancy waders. He had the vest and the hat, we had backpacks full of snacks and drift fishing gear. We couldn't smoke or chew in his truck. We caught a limit in an hour (we throw 'em back most times, so we can keep fishing) he didn't catch squat. He hasn't asked to go with us again.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Koldkut wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

Scrapes on the bumper don't count Joe, that's what a bumper is for....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ilikehunting wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

Sweet! I ran my jeeps passenger side into a tree and recently laid the front on the frame (doing aforementioned looking out of only one set of mirrors). Hopefully the fish take note.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bryan01 wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I'd be willing to bet that the guides who drive shiny new Escalades not only catch fewer fish but also charge higher fees

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Proverbs wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

That paint appears to be Silver Streak Mica. The high-tech poly material used in your bumper can be smoothed very easily with 400 grit wet. The whole job, including airbrush paint, can be professionaly done for about $150.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I use to own the perfect truck. It fit all of your criteria except the check engine light. (serious loss of man points of you can't fix your engine). It had traveled from Miami to Northern Manitoba and from Hilton Head to SW Colorado in search of fish and game. Had hauled more dead deer, elk, bear than I care to admit. I would go years without washing her and she still looked pretty.

In July my son decided it looked better wrapped around another truck. Glad everyone is ok but I am learning a good truck is hard to replace.

While cleaning it out at the junkyard I discovered an unbelieveable amount of shells and bullets that have rolled under the seats.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Plotner wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

well maybye i should use my dads honda wwhen i am old enough a '89 with a huge dent in the drivers side door the back doors only compleatly shut when you hit them and the rear bumper is held up with rachet straps. and thats just the beggining

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from fliphuntr14 wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I prefer to spend my money on good rods, guns, stands and wadders. It helps that I have a few good mechanics in the family. That said someday I want a good reliable car and the notes on guides are duly noted. lol

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Riverrat57 wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

I used to splice telephone cables. They are full of a waterproofing substance called "icky pic". It's like a combination of vaseline and elmers glue. Almost impossible to wipe off. I found that the best way to deal with it is just go ahead and smear it all over your hands and forearms before you even start working. I treat my truck the same way. Don't even try to keep it clean, new looking or smelling good. Just dive right in to the fishing. It isn't going to be worth any less at trade-in time just because of the scratches, dents & that fishy smell.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Brett D. Haynes wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

Yea a good friend of mine that guides and can catch alot of fish all of his doors on his SUV except his won't open from the outside. How true how true.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Man Wall wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

My dad would vigilantly scrub down the truck every weekend so that he could drive it to work on Monday. By which I mean he'd drink a beer and tell me which part to scrub for a few hours every weekend..

http://www.ManWall.com

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Montanagyrene wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

@ 2lb test-I'm not SURE I'd even LET someone like that go with us, even if he DID ask!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bonk wrote 1 year 34 weeks ago

This is funny because I had a guide for a hog hunting trip show up 4 hrs late in his what appeared to be new Mersaedes car wearing his midlife crisis Harley Davidson garb. To say the least that was the worst hunting experiece with a guide that I have ever experienced. This joker did not deliver. Thats a great point, when a person shows up in his work clothes then usally thats what he's there for. This joker showed up to collect the money, he could have cared less about putting us on the hogs. Beware of the well dressed and flashy.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from shane wrote 1 year 33 weeks ago

Amen. It's a bonus if you think you're gonna die in their boat at one point or another.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jr_armstrong wrote 1 year 31 weeks ago

I have a buddy bought a new Trailblazer when they first came out(few years back). He put a brush guard on the front and on his taillights has never taken the SUV to the lake or the woods.On the other hand when I worked at a
huge automotive repair shop,they had two S10 blazer for parts vehicles.I was in charge of keeping them clean,so I washed them clean the interior with armor all. One Monday after a holiday weekend I saw one of the Blazers covered with dried . You could only see the front windshield where the wipers had wiped the mud off. I opened the door and there was mud on the floorboard, dog hair,saliva on the p/s seat and dash. I ask the owner of the shop what happened to the blazer and he replied I went hunting.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

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