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Bourjaily: Ghillie Suit Bandit Bitten

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October 18, 2010

Bourjaily: Ghillie Suit Bandit Bitten

By Phil Bourjaily

“The only answer,” mused Garvey as he typed the warrant for Vincent Booker's house, “is that crime makes you stupid.” – a favorite line from Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets by David Simon.

Dumb crook stories are always fun, and this one has an outdoors/camo angle to it to boot. Gregory Liascos, of Portland, Oregon, planned to steal the gold nugget collection from the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals. He spent several days tunneling through the outdoor bathroom into the museum. His plan evidently included a bicycle and a ghillie suit (or “moss suit” if you’re a clueless news anchor) to aid his escape.

Unfortunately for him, Liascos’ plan did not include cleaning up evidence of his ongoing tunneling efforts. The police got wise, the attempt went wrong, and Liascos was captured at toothpoint, as you’ll find out if you watch the news story. *

Liascos also learned rather painfully what any deer hunter could have told him: even the best camo only fools animals with keen noses if you hide downwind.

—Phil Bourjaily

*When I posted the Elmo Beatdown video a week or so ago, several of you admitted to being fans of the lovely—if macaw-voiced—Robin Meade. For you, here’s her shorter report on the Liascos story.

Comments (14)

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from Mike Plotner wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

stupide crimnal give you the idea on why most people make a honest living

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bellringer wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

This was a real bite out of crime senario.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Randy S. Breth wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

"Macaw-Voiced". Ha!

She does have a nice look to her though...

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from 99explorer wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

I think the D.A would have a stronger case if the K9 had caught the suspect in the tunnel, rather than in the woods nearby. But maybe the suspect had a confession bitten out of him.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from focusfront wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Those cops couldn't be accused of beating around the bush. The bad guy WAS the bush!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from CJ wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

You need to stick something in her yap to SHTFU!

-2 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Lucky he was a bush and not a tree. He may have been bit and pissed on.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from okduckhunter wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Don't over-publicize the story too much; the left might try to pass legislation against camo clothing!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from dale freeman wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Just what do you mean "mac caw".
That is a lovely woman right there, I don't care who you are,
BUCKHUNTER; how do you know the dog didn't ?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Longbeard wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Clearly, Robin has never seen one of Tom Beringer's "Sniper" movies. That guy would have been better off wearing ScentLoc and spraying down. Then again, he would have been better off just not trying to break in to the museum. More proof that most criminals are not like comic book masterminds.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from kudukid wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

...Reminds me of the true story of a gasoline thief in either Washington or Oregon. He was attempting to siphon gas from a big RV Camper...only he was doing it from the wrong access pipe. When the cops found him he was rolling around on the ground retching.
Selah.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

That funny right there Kudukid, I don't care who Yar! Got the septic eh?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from kudukid wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Moishe:
You betcha!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from pandora wrote 3 years 24 weeks ago

Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from buckhunter wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Lucky he was a bush and not a tree. He may have been bit and pissed on.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Plotner wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

stupide crimnal give you the idea on why most people make a honest living

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bellringer wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

This was a real bite out of crime senario.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Randy S. Breth wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

"Macaw-Voiced". Ha!

She does have a nice look to her though...

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from 99explorer wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

I think the D.A would have a stronger case if the K9 had caught the suspect in the tunnel, rather than in the woods nearby. But maybe the suspect had a confession bitten out of him.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from focusfront wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Those cops couldn't be accused of beating around the bush. The bad guy WAS the bush!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from okduckhunter wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Don't over-publicize the story too much; the left might try to pass legislation against camo clothing!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from dale freeman wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Just what do you mean "mac caw".
That is a lovely woman right there, I don't care who you are,
BUCKHUNTER; how do you know the dog didn't ?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Longbeard wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Clearly, Robin has never seen one of Tom Beringer's "Sniper" movies. That guy would have been better off wearing ScentLoc and spraying down. Then again, he would have been better off just not trying to break in to the museum. More proof that most criminals are not like comic book masterminds.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from kudukid wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

...Reminds me of the true story of a gasoline thief in either Washington or Oregon. He was attempting to siphon gas from a big RV Camper...only he was doing it from the wrong access pipe. When the cops found him he was rolling around on the ground retching.
Selah.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

That funny right there Kudukid, I don't care who Yar! Got the septic eh?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from kudukid wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

Moishe:
You betcha!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from pandora wrote 3 years 24 weeks ago

Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from CJ wrote 3 years 25 weeks ago

You need to stick something in her yap to SHTFU!

-2 Good Comment? | | Report

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