October 01, 2012
The Toast: Are You Old Enough to Remember Church Keys?
By David Draper
This is a photo of my church key collection. Don’t ask me how I got started acquiring these antiquated tools, but now I’ve got a full-blown assortment of them from Golden-Age breweries such as Hamm’s, Schlitz, and, yes, even Miller High Life. Which is why I was positively giddy with excitement when I found out about Church Key Can Company.
The home-brewers behind this pilsner-style ale claim anyone under 50 probably doesn’t know what a church key is, but I’m way closer to 40 and I remember my dad and grandfathers opening their beer cans with the pointed end of one. Personally, I always have one close at hand to pop the lid from a Bell jar of pickles or crack open a bottle of craft brew. It’s more civilized than using the blunt end of a lighter and more dental-friendly than using your teeth.
Of course, the Church Key Can Company originated in that hub of hipster-ville—Portland—and is only available in Portland, Seattle, and San Francisco. But I, for one, am hoping the trend catches on, if only so I can put all these darn church keys to use.