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Contest: What’s Your Worst Cooking Disaster?

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April 18, 2013

Contest: What’s Your Worst Cooking Disaster?

By David Draper

My girlfriend, T. Rebel, tried to kill me once.

Her weapon of choice? Exploding meatloaf. She claims it was an accident, but I know better. The whole scene went down like this.

She offered to cook me dinner, which should have tipped me off from the start. I do most of the cooking, so this was a rare occurrence indeed. As the meal was coming together, I was in the kitchen helping out, which generally consists of me saying, “That’s not how I would do it.” (I never said she didn’t have a good motive.) She pulled the meatloaf from the oven, sat it on the stovetop and asked me to stir the risotto simmering on the back burner. I started to lean over the meatloaf when I realized there wasn’t a spoon in the pot. Just as I turned to the sink to grab one, the meatloaf and its glass dish exploded sending sizzling hot ground meat, boiling tomato sauce, and shards of glass into the space my face has just occupied. It would have been a painful, yet poetic, way to go.

Turns out, T. Rebel had “accidentally” placed the glass pan on a still-hot burner. We both now know this is not a good idea. Luckily, at the time, T. Rebel lived across the street from a pizza joint, so we didn’t go hungry. Though to this day, I still develop a nervous tic whenever she offers to cook me dinner. Call it kitchen-related PTSD.

I’ve had my fair share of kitchen disasters as well, including the time in college I used some cold wine to deglaze a too-hot pan. Pretty sure one of the reasons I lost the deposit for that apartment was the wine stains on the ceiling and cupboards. Then there was the time, just a year or so ago, when I was chopping ice for a photo shoot for this blog and stuck a tine of the meat fork I was using (couldn’t find the ice pick) right through my finger. I still have a scar from that incident, as well as plenty of others caused by knives, broken glasses, hot pans, etc.

If you’ve spent any amount of time in the kitchen or near a campfire, you probably have your own cooking-disaster stories. Let’s hear the worst of them. The winner, as chosen by T. Rebel and I, will when a Camp Chef square Dutch oven as well as a box of goodies from Hi Mountain Seasonings, Cabela’s, Justin’s Nut Butter and Kind Snacks. To be eligible, post your story by Wednesday, April 24, at 6 p.m. Mountain Time.

Comments (36)

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from ALJoe wrote 52 weeks 1 hour ago

As a youth in college I was trying to impress some college buddies by frying up a whole mess of crappie that I had caught the previous weekend. We were enjoying ourselves and having a few adult beverages when I made a mistake that I hope to never make again. As we got the grease good and hot I proceeded to place way to many crappie into the pot. What resulted next was a disaster that is still being talked about today. The pot boiled over and the grease met the fire errupting into a flaming volcano. The beer drinking came to an abrupt end as the crowd scattered. One of my friends was smart enough to grab some towels to smother the fire and avoid a disaster. Needless to say all of those great looking crappie went to waste. Luckily we had plenty of beer to keep us from getting to hungry.

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from bsheahan1229 wrote 52 weeks 1 hour ago

Once, when I was in charge of planning the meals for a Boy Scout camping trip, I decided to make doughnuts for a dessert after dinner in a dutch oven. I was using Pillsbury biscuits and a dutch oven filled with oil. I had no idea how hot the oil was, and I was never all that good at cooking with oil. I put a couple of the biscuits in the oil, and decided to just wait until they looked good on the outside to take them out, cover them in cinnamon and sugar, and serve them. The first few started out well, but I became overly confident with the last ones. They were still raw in the middle, and I didn't want to put them back in, or they'd get soggy. So, I just assumed that people would not eat the raw dough and just have another to compensate if they wanted. But apparently people did not want to eat around it, so they just ate the whole thing and still had a ton. Then, we ran around outside, and went to bed. When I woke up, everyone was telling me how they got up in the middle of the night and felt like they were going to throw up. I felt bad, because I had, in a way, poisoned a group of Boy Scouts. They didn't seem to trust my judgement the next morning during breakfast.

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from T. Rebel wrote 52 weeks 1 hour ago

I can vouch that every bit of this story is true. I didn't cook for David for nearly a year after the 'incident'.

'Murdered by Meatloaf' would have made a good intro for your obituary though!

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from js246608 wrote 52 weeks 44 min ago

On a 3-day backpacking trip with a college class, I decided to bring along the ingredients for two backpacking meals I had read about in a magazine (I've decided to never try this again without first attempting the recipe at home). The first night, balancing a whisperlite camp stove on a patch of more-or-less even ground, I made the mistake of using all the ingredients at once and produced a thick bannock cake which was burned on the outside and barely cooked on the inside. As bad as that was, the next night I tried cooking a dish using instant stuffing mix and canned smoked oysters with the addition of vienna sausages. I ended up putting in too much water, and ended up with a nasty wet yellow slop which had a disgusting mixture of smoked oyster water and cheap vienna sausage flavoring. I went back to the bannock (the same thick half-burned cake from the night before) with a little honey to mask the flavor. I lived off that thing for the rest of the trip.

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from Neil J. Selbicky wrote 52 weeks 29 min ago

Don't need to go back too far for this memory. 2011 was a good waterfowl year for myself. Shot all mallards except for two teal. September of 2012 had to figure out what to do with the mallards left in the freezer? The answer came when my sister send down some smoked duck jerky samples from Washington State. I can do that! So I got her recipe and fired up the smoker. Carefully mixing the marinade and soaking the meat strips I moved on to that "firing up" time. Set the smoker out in the garage where I could watch from inside the house. I then sat down to tie a few steelhead flies Occasionally looking up to see "plenty of smoke", I became so engrossed in completing a few flies I neglected to check on my little project outside. If I had done so I would soon noted that I had put too may briquets in the now very hot smoker. When I did finally check the smoker, my prized mallard duck jerky strips were all burnt very crisp. My only saving consolation was that my niece down in California loves burnt jerky and she accepted the whole lot without reservation.

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from mspl8sdcntryboy wrote 52 weeks 12 min ago

A couple of years ago me and my family went camping, before we left my mother made mason jar meals (entire meals that are put into a jar, sans liquid ingredients). One meal she made was apple cinnamon pancakes for breakfast, well instead of reading the label she made for it, we decided to wing it. Well we put the amount of liquid ingredients required, when the pancakes were done we bit into them, some of the best tasting ever, one problem though--they were extremely thick and gummy, nearly to the point of chocking. Problem: the jars held more than one meal each so instead of dividing the dry ingredients into serving sizes we just added one serving of liquid to 5+ servings of dry ingredients!

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from mspl8sdcntryboy wrote 52 weeks 9 min ago

Also, once while oven-cooking a pot roast we noticed that it was getting a little dry so we added water, COLD WATER! Well let's just say cold water to a hot pan isn't very advantageous to your health!

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from SD Bob wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

I read a newspaper article about cooking with a dutch oven in a camp fire and decided to give it a try. I bought a dutch oven, a big chunk of beef and all the remaining ingredients given in the article. The one direction I didn't follow was the amount of roar to the camp fire. I came back at the prescribed time to check on my master piece only to discover an ash shadow as the only remnant to the once big beautifull slab of beef.

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from B0whunt3r wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Growing up my mom taught all of us boys how to cook and follow a recipe at a fairly young age. I've been cooking meal since I was 10. So it would be nothing for my mom to have one of her son start dinner before she got home from work. This one evening we were going to have home made pizza and she instructed my young brother to mix up the dough so it could rise and when she got home make the pizza. So he got out her recipe and followed it to the letter. The problem was that the recipe called for 2 packets of yeast. I know your thinking so what's the problem? Well, on my dear mothers last shopping trip, she found a deal on bulk yeast that was in 3 pound packages. So 6 pounds of yeast went into the dough.

Needless to say we didn't have pizza that night. I don't remember what we had, but what I do remember is my mom coming home to a giant blob of dough sitting on the counter after it overgrew it's bowl. And her launching an investigation into what happened and laughing hystarically when my brother responded with "it said two packets and these were all I could find."

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from jodum wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

While camped with my two hunting buddies on a late season squirrel hunt I was selected as camp cook. When preparing the evening meal of red beans and cornbread I some how fouled up the cornbread by obviously adding one to many shots of Jack Daniels to the cook. I don't know what I did to it but it was totally unedible. One of the guys laughed and said maybe the squirrel dog would eat it. He tossed the whole pan of cornbread to the squirrel dog that was laying next to the fire. The old dog got up and walked over to the cornbread, smelled of it, then raised his hind leg and peed on it. The dog then returned to his original spot and layer down. Now talk about an insult to the camp cook.

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from MaxPower wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Admittedly it's not very rugged, but Dad and I were tasked with picking up some kind of punch for a reception which was to follow a church choir concert. When we picked it up from the caterers place it was in a big plastic 10 gallon container with a handle and screw-on lid on the top. It also came with dry ice which we were told needed to be added about 10 minutes before being served. We arrived, carried it all in to the church and being the 12-year-old boy I was I made sure I got to add the dry ice. Unknowingly I screwed the lid on right after I put the dry ice in (I should have known how to make a dry ice bomb by this time in life). My dad noticed this and immediately tried to unscrew it but there was already too much pressure. So the two of us hustled it outside and then set it in the middle of the parking lot and took cover behind some cars. A short moment later the thing blew, and shot up at least 40 feet in the air. Dad and I couldn't stop laughing, that is until mom verbally went beast mode on the both of us.

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from Fruguy101 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

I was going to cook some chicken nuggets for my daughter one night. There was oil in a cast iron skillet from the night before, and I thought i would just use that instead of the deep fryer. My son was an infant, and after turning on the eye, I had to go change his diaper. Forgetting all about the oil on the stove, it started to smoke the kitchen up really bad. In my wisdom, I thought I would just take the whole thing outside and throw it in the yard. While walking out the back door, the hot oil started sloshing from side to side. As I took my third step out the door, the hot oil splashed out onto my arm, legs, and feet in small droplets. As it burned those tiny spots, I dropped the pan, which splashed burning hot oil onto my left foot causing second degree burns all along the inside of the foot and on top of it. The blisters were gigantic, and when the doctor popped them to take the burned skin off, it sounded like you were pouring a glass of water on the floor there was so much fluid in them. A bottle of Loritabs, a tub of burn cream, and a month later, my foot was much better. No more hot oil on the stove for me!

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from mike0714 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Not my story but the old man always brought this one up when we talked about horrible meals. It is him cooking and my quasi uncle who was my dads life time partner in stupidity helping. I was four or five at the time and my dad despite not being a hunter had brought me out on the hunt to get out and learn more about the outdoors. We packed up the truck, camper, my dad, uncle, a family friend and my uncles dog. then drove to CO for the hunt. The old man and my uncle were helping on friends hunt and cooking for elk camp. For lunch my dad made corn bread(more like corn bricks) venison stew(saved meal) and for desert he was making funnel cakes with a Dutch oven. The cakes were a great hit and he started cleaning up. He forgot the oil in the oven and it caught on fire (note it was an old school 3.5 gallon oven that I still have) and the flames where about 6 feet high. For some reason my idiot uncle kicked the pot away from the camper (the camper was over 15 ft away from fire and the fire would have gone out on its own) just as he kicked the pot his 150 lb saint bernard was running by and sure enough he lit the dog on fire and it took off in to the woods. My uncle took off after the dog and tackled him patting him out. When we got home my aunt would have hilled my uncle if it weren't for the third degree burns on his arms. The dog on the other hand only had a few large patches of singed hair and a few minor burns here and there.

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from mike0714 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

on a *friends hunt Killed* my uncle sorry about the mistakes

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from MattM37 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

My worst cooking disaster was when no cooking at all occurred, thanks to a cousin who was supposed to bring the skillet and didn't. The only flat rocks around were in the streambed and we didn't want to put those near the fire. I had already mixed the pancake batter ... so we just simply drank it. It wasn't bad, really, but later in the day we were thankful for the stand of nice leafy maples near our campsite.

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from coachsjike wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

several years ago i decided to build and mortar a nice firepit in the backyard. i used good pennsylvania field stone too which was quite expensive but we decided to use it anyway because of its color and we had planned to cook over it at one time or another. several weeks after the firepit was done, my wife and i decided to get a fire going , throw the home made cooking grates on and cook up some steaks. while i was waiting for the fire to burn down to coals, i turned my back for a few seconds and my wife starts screaming. part of the concrete that i used as a base came apart and literally shot ten feet up in the air and came crashing down with coal all over the place. apparently the concrete was still GREEN and the moisture in it turned to steam which then became explosive...go figure. steaks eventually went on the propane grill but what a mess.

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from Boudreaux Boyer wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

My story is not as ellaborate as most of the others. My worst coooking mistake to date happened as a teenager. I decided to cook some instant ragu in the microwave in a plastic bowl. It was a simple task however in my absent mindedness i forgot to add water and left the kitchen. I returned after 3 minutes to find a very expensive microwave spewing flames. My biggest mistake of the ordeal, telling my wife (girlfriend at the time) of what happened. I have not lived it down to this day.

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from fozziee2 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

It was our aniversary one year and a sick baby ruined my plans for a romantic dinner out with my wife. I decided to put baby to bed and make steak au poiuve for a nice dinner in. I pan seared the fillets real nice on both sides and got the cognac ready to de-glaze the pan... and a little glaze for the chef too. When I poured the liquor in the pan, I got a little heavy handed. When it came time to flame off the cognac, the roaring fireball was so big that it was sucked up into the vent fan over the stove, setting the filter on fire and melting the plastic fan blades. I was quick enough to move the steaks away from the stove before spraying the stove and vent with the fire extinguisher so our "romantic" dinner was saved... sort of.

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from Greenhead wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

A few years ago, I bought a rotisserie attachment for my charcoal grill. It was early in the spring and I hadn't cleaned up the huge collection of pine needles in the back yard yet, but I was anxious to try out my new toy. I impaled a rack of pork ribs and a beef roast of some description on the huge skewer (manliest cooking tool ever) and lit the grill. I seasoned the meat as the coals died down and then carefully inserted the skewer into the rotisserie motor. I watched for a few minutes as the meat danced above the flames like a Russian ballerina. Content that everything was well, my girlfriend and I retreated to the house and turned on the TV.

Thirty or forty minutes later, we heard what sounded like rain coming from the backyard and wondered aloud if a storm had blown in. It was a beautiful day just minutes ago, but this was Florida and anything can happen. I went outside to check that it wasn't raining too hard, only to find my entire backyard engulfed in flames. The sound we thought was rain was actually the popping sound that comes with falling coals igniting a backyard full of pine needles, a wooden fence, two lawn chairs, a nice cooler, and a garden hose. The garden hose was really the crucial bit. To put out the flames, I ended up having to chop off the burnt half of the (still flaming) hose so that I could get enough pressure to soak everything else.

The meat turned out great.

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from swiftblade13 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Once a long time ago back when I was about 12 I decided to cook some frozen garlic bread in the microwave, as I was too impatient and hungry I put it on 10 minutes and decided I'll come by later and check on it. Sure enough I for got about it and only when the smoke started coming down the hall did I remember by then the microwave was spewing 12 inch flames, the cabinets and backslash were covered in soot and inside the microwave was a perfect square of coal.

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from Williamk8987 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

A few years ago I was suppose to go camping with my now wife. Well due to a hurricane we were forced to cancel. She was bummed so I brought that camping experience to my apartment, burgers, beers, s'mores, and the whole 9 yards. I was really impressing her. Then I decided to make jiffy pop. Well somehow it caught fire, which started to spread to dish towels, paper towels, and other items I had scattered around. The alarms started to go off and the fire department showed up. Luckly I was able to put out the flames before it spread to my cabinets and caused real damage. But it took the mood away from the evening and she still busts my chops over it.

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from TopperFanLuke wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Last dove season I got the bright idea instead of cooking the doves my normal way (wrapped in bacon with cream cheese on the grill) I was going to take a Duck Gumbo recipe I'd found and replace the duck meat with dove. It sounded delicious to me so I gave it a shot. As I was making the sauce from scratch, it required being slowly stired for 45 minutes and 475 degrees. I had to turn for a split second and grab something off the counter and when I turned back the spoon was falling out of the pot. My instinct was "Don't let the spoon hit the floor!" It never occured to my instincts that the spoon was sitting in hot lava! I lunged and caught the spoon and as a did I slung 475 degree sauce all over my hand causing 3rd degree burn! Needless to say, at that point rather than the spoon gently falling to the floor it was spiked forcefully to the ground with some rather choice words. I'd never experienced a burn that bad before where there was nerve damage but I guess it was kind of nice at the time because after the initial burn it didn't hurt at all. The pain came later throughout the long healing process and now I have a nice scar on the back of my hand to show for my stupidity. The worst part is, when people as me about the scar I have to tell them that I burned it while trying to cook Dove Gumbo. It can't ever be something cool like saving a baby from a burning car, it always has to be something lame when you injure yourself...

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from dighunter wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Not really my disaster, but I (like you) fell victim. In my younger days, my siblings and I would go out with our friends separately and generally arrive home at various times in the evening and in variuos states of sobriety. On this night my brother had come home first and had a hankering for fried chicken so he made some. As I returned home last, I opened the refrigerator only to find a whole plate of the most beautiful fried chicken one had ever seen (which didn't last long at my house). I couldn't believe my good fortune. I grabbed a nice looking drumstick and took a big bite only to find it almost completely raw inside! My brother in his inebriated state had apparently put sugar in the batter instead of salt. The sugar had carmalized (hence the golden brown color) without cooking the chicken. After some serious mouth rinsing, I went to bed. A little while later, my sister woke us all up puking. Apparently she got home before me and had the "good fortune" to find the chicken first, but put it back into the refrigerator instead of throwing it away. We both ended up with food poisoning and a heft dose of lecturing from our mother.

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from dighunter wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

I couldn't resist sharing this story also. In my pursuit of learning about things that can be gleaned from nature, I began making maple syrup. My first batch of syrup was a big one. I had boiled down about 80 gallons of sap which would finish off to almost 2 gallons of syrup. I brought the almost finished syrup into the house to finish. I couldn't find a large enough pan to hold the syrup while I cleaned my finishing pan and set up my filter so I grabbed the glass casserole dish drying in the dish drainer. (I know my mistake) I dumped the syrup into the dish and turned my back just as I heard a large crack. The dish had shattered and 2 gallons of maple syrup was running all over my stove top, down the sides of the stove, over onto the counter, and somehow got in between the pieces of glass on the oven door. My wife (God bless her) didn't say a thing. She grabbed a rag to help me and we spent the next three hours dismantling our kitchen to clean up two gallons of maple syrup. Let alone the mess, I had wasted three days of boiling, 1/4 of a chord of wood, a glass dish and all that syrup.

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from BIGGAMECOCK wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

While trying to impress my now wife's Argentine parents with some freshly harvested doves in a stir-fry, I decided that to make the long flat ribbons of carrots (like the Chinese take-out places can do), the mandolin would be easiest.
On the very first pass of the carrot, longways across the blade, the carrot got stuck. How to fix that - push harder with my thumb.
Well, I got the carrot to go through, and about 1/4 inch of the tip of my thumb followed right along.
This was 30 seconds before her parents walked in. Luckily she had left a hair rubberband on the counter, which made a handy turniquet for my pulsing thumb.
To make the situation better - her father was a physician. Apparently this wound was "just a little cut" and he'd seen way worse. Just some steri-gauze (conveniently in his car) would heal it right up (it stopped bleeding by breakfast).
Long story short, fresh human blood and a fingertip in the food prep area is considered less-than-sanitary. My entire harvest was discarded and we ordered in Chinese food - from the real pros - with those impeccably cut ribbons of carrots.

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from Drover1 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

I always avoided shooting Mergansers because I’d heard they are no good to eat, and I’m generally pretty good at identifying them in flight. One day, years ago, I was paddling my canoe up a narrow river on a duck hunt. Suddenly a fast-flying group of small ducks came screaming around a bend in the river, flying low and right at me. I thought they were teal, grabbed my gun, picked one out and shot. That duck and the one behind it folded and dropped like stones. I was congratulating myself on the great shot while retrieving them, then realized they were Common Mergansers. I decided I was going to cook them anyway. I’ve had lots of fish and game that “conventional wisdom” says are poor table fare, but actually turn out fine if cooked properly. So, I placed the whole, plucked ducks in a crock pot with onions, garlic, celery and lots of seasonings. Started it in the morning and left the house for most of the day. When my wife and I returned at around dinner time, the entire house smelled like I was cooking a road-killed possum seasoned with aged carp. I had to bury the whole mess in the garden. My wife wanted me to throw the crock pot away, but I managed to clean it for future use. Moral of the story – unless you want to mount one, leave the Mergansers alone.

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from nitrojoe wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Simply boil eggs until the water is gone and you'll end up with egg on the ceiling and everything else within 15 feet.

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from briarfire007 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

I was no chef (or frequent party host) in college. But one night I decided to have several people over to watch a movie and to feast on one of my favorite delicacies: "pigs in a blanket". I had pre-rolled my pigs and planned on putting them in the oven just as the movie started so that i could bring out a tray of hot fresh pigs to eat while we watched the movie. Well somehow I managed to put the oven on the self-clean cycle just after putting the pigs in. And so now the oven is going to get WAY to hot. And it locks shut. All of our dinner was doomed. I ended up jimmying the lock with a butter knife. This worked, although I nearly got quite a shock b/c a current went thru the knife and blew a small scorched hole right out the side of it. The pigs in a blanket were only slightly burnt by this time.

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from hutter wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

My worst was when I let my wife cook,anything. She's a horrible cook and she will tell you so!

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from -Bob wrote 51 weeks 3 days ago

It’s a very long story, which can be reduced to the following equation:

Electric smoker + plastic patio table = BIG hole + annoyed wife.

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from Diane Boyle-Mather wrote 51 weeks 2 days ago

Well first off my whole familysays when the smoke detector goes off they know dinner is ready.

When I first got married I planned a turkey dinner, who knew it had to thaw first. Needless to say dinner was ruined. I don't think that turkey ever finished cooking. I have been married almost 17 yrs and last year was the first time I attempted a turkey dinner again and it was for Thanksgiving thank goodness everything turned out great.

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from woodpecker wrote 51 weeks 2 days ago

When we first got electricity to our deer hunting camp, I thought, wow this will be great. Now we can have most of our evening meals by using a crock pot. Less time wasted waiting for food to heat up and less clean up afterword. This is going to be great. My wife said, "just turn it on low before you leave and when you get back seven or eight hours later all you'll have to do is , wipe your hands off on your shirt, dish up and eat". However, if your gone for twelve and a half hours.......not so.

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from cb bob wrote 51 weeks 2 days ago

One of my early adventures in cooking was at our hunting cabin. It was just my Brother-in-law, and I, and I was going to cook while he went into town to pick up some food for the rest of the week. We had venison backstraps in the freezer, so the plan was to defrost the back straps, rub them with a little olive oil, and Dad's home made rub, put them on a Really hot grill for a couple minutes each side, and they come out delicious! Well, the first thing I did was sit the venison in cold water to defrost, and then went to fire up the grill. It started to drizzle, so I moved the grill closer to the cabin, under the overhang. the defrosting was going nowhere, so I fished the venison out of the water, and decided to try to defrost in the microwave. The back straps were still in the vacuum bag, I put them on a paper plate, and turned on the microwave. That's when everything went wrong. I smelled smoke, The paper plate caught on fire, melted the plastic on to the Venison, and ruined it. I went outside to turn off the grill, which had gotten VERY hot, and being too close to the house, melted the vinyl siding 4 feet all around it. When my brother-in-law returned, and found the devastation that was dinner, he could not catch his breath from laughing so hard. We had soup, and sandwiches for dinner, and I spent the next day replacing siding instead of hunting.

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from Gtbigsky wrote 51 weeks 2 days ago

In College my girl friend and I decided to make dinner at my place. As usual, I would be doing the cooking because she was very challenged in that area. Since it was a cold wintery evening i decided on making some hearty beef short ribs. My girl friend came over and we began preparing the meal as well as drinking some super classy jug wine. After a few hours of braising the ribs in my 14" csat iron skillet they were done and ready to come out of the over. I opened the over door and grabbed the handle of the skillet. My problem was i wasn't wearing an oven mitt or using a towel. Thats right i firmly grabbed a 350 degree pan with my bare hands. Like anyone in my situation would have done, i tried to do the logical thing, Get hand off of burning thing. Simple right? Well instead of with drawing my hand horizontally, i made a rather abrupt vertical motion, and smashed my arm into the burner on top of the oven. I don't know what hurt worse, the actual flesh being seared off of my hand and arm? or, the fact that i was stupid enough to grab something that didn't just come "right out of the oven" no, it was still in the thing. Nothing a little more Carlos Rossi and aloe didnt fix.

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from Gtbigsky wrote 51 weeks 2 days ago

In College my girl friend and I decided to make dinner at my place. As usual, I would be doing the cooking because she was very challenged in that area. Since it was a cold wintery evening i decided on making some hearty beef short ribs. My girl friend came over and we began preparing the meal as well as drinking some super classy jug wine. After a few hours of braising the ribs in my 14" csat iron skillet they were done and ready to come out of the over. I opened the over door and grabbed the handle of the skillet. My problem was i wasn't wearing an oven mitt or using a towel. Thats right i firmly grabbed a 350 degree pan with my bare hands. Like anyone in my situation would have done, i tried to do the logical thing, Get hand off of burning thing. Simple right? Well instead of with drawing my hand horizontally, i made a rather abrupt vertical motion, and smashed my arm into the burner on top of the oven. I don't know what hurt worse, the actual flesh being seared off of my hand and arm? or, the fact that i was stupid enough to grab something that didn't just come "right out of the oven" no, it was still in the thing. Nothing a little more Carlos Rossi and aloe didnt fix.

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from GrantHarland wrote 51 weeks 22 hours ago

I shot my first wild turkey a few years back and was really excited to cook it up and eat it. I decided to smoke a leg in my Brinkman, and after the leg reached the appropriate temperature I took it out. After one taste, I knew it wasn't the result I was hoping for. After I choked down a few more, I looked down and my 2 year old Australian Shepherd was staring at the leg like it was a perfectly cooked aged ribeye. It was a win win situation. I peeled and shredded all the meat off the bone and mixed it in his dog food over the next few weeks. Glad not to waste the meat and my dog couldn't have been happier to eat the poorly cooked bird.

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from T. Rebel wrote 52 weeks 1 hour ago

I can vouch that every bit of this story is true. I didn't cook for David for nearly a year after the 'incident'.

'Murdered by Meatloaf' would have made a good intro for your obituary though!

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from Greenhead wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

A few years ago, I bought a rotisserie attachment for my charcoal grill. It was early in the spring and I hadn't cleaned up the huge collection of pine needles in the back yard yet, but I was anxious to try out my new toy. I impaled a rack of pork ribs and a beef roast of some description on the huge skewer (manliest cooking tool ever) and lit the grill. I seasoned the meat as the coals died down and then carefully inserted the skewer into the rotisserie motor. I watched for a few minutes as the meat danced above the flames like a Russian ballerina. Content that everything was well, my girlfriend and I retreated to the house and turned on the TV.

Thirty or forty minutes later, we heard what sounded like rain coming from the backyard and wondered aloud if a storm had blown in. It was a beautiful day just minutes ago, but this was Florida and anything can happen. I went outside to check that it wasn't raining too hard, only to find my entire backyard engulfed in flames. The sound we thought was rain was actually the popping sound that comes with falling coals igniting a backyard full of pine needles, a wooden fence, two lawn chairs, a nice cooler, and a garden hose. The garden hose was really the crucial bit. To put out the flames, I ended up having to chop off the burnt half of the (still flaming) hose so that I could get enough pressure to soak everything else.

The meat turned out great.

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from SD Bob wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

I read a newspaper article about cooking with a dutch oven in a camp fire and decided to give it a try. I bought a dutch oven, a big chunk of beef and all the remaining ingredients given in the article. The one direction I didn't follow was the amount of roar to the camp fire. I came back at the prescribed time to check on my master piece only to discover an ash shadow as the only remnant to the once big beautifull slab of beef.

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from TopperFanLuke wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Last dove season I got the bright idea instead of cooking the doves my normal way (wrapped in bacon with cream cheese on the grill) I was going to take a Duck Gumbo recipe I'd found and replace the duck meat with dove. It sounded delicious to me so I gave it a shot. As I was making the sauce from scratch, it required being slowly stired for 45 minutes and 475 degrees. I had to turn for a split second and grab something off the counter and when I turned back the spoon was falling out of the pot. My instinct was "Don't let the spoon hit the floor!" It never occured to my instincts that the spoon was sitting in hot lava! I lunged and caught the spoon and as a did I slung 475 degree sauce all over my hand causing 3rd degree burn! Needless to say, at that point rather than the spoon gently falling to the floor it was spiked forcefully to the ground with some rather choice words. I'd never experienced a burn that bad before where there was nerve damage but I guess it was kind of nice at the time because after the initial burn it didn't hurt at all. The pain came later throughout the long healing process and now I have a nice scar on the back of my hand to show for my stupidity. The worst part is, when people as me about the scar I have to tell them that I burned it while trying to cook Dove Gumbo. It can't ever be something cool like saving a baby from a burning car, it always has to be something lame when you injure yourself...

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from dighunter wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Not really my disaster, but I (like you) fell victim. In my younger days, my siblings and I would go out with our friends separately and generally arrive home at various times in the evening and in variuos states of sobriety. On this night my brother had come home first and had a hankering for fried chicken so he made some. As I returned home last, I opened the refrigerator only to find a whole plate of the most beautiful fried chicken one had ever seen (which didn't last long at my house). I couldn't believe my good fortune. I grabbed a nice looking drumstick and took a big bite only to find it almost completely raw inside! My brother in his inebriated state had apparently put sugar in the batter instead of salt. The sugar had carmalized (hence the golden brown color) without cooking the chicken. After some serious mouth rinsing, I went to bed. A little while later, my sister woke us all up puking. Apparently she got home before me and had the "good fortune" to find the chicken first, but put it back into the refrigerator instead of throwing it away. We both ended up with food poisoning and a heft dose of lecturing from our mother.

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from ALJoe wrote 52 weeks 1 hour ago

As a youth in college I was trying to impress some college buddies by frying up a whole mess of crappie that I had caught the previous weekend. We were enjoying ourselves and having a few adult beverages when I made a mistake that I hope to never make again. As we got the grease good and hot I proceeded to place way to many crappie into the pot. What resulted next was a disaster that is still being talked about today. The pot boiled over and the grease met the fire errupting into a flaming volcano. The beer drinking came to an abrupt end as the crowd scattered. One of my friends was smart enough to grab some towels to smother the fire and avoid a disaster. Needless to say all of those great looking crappie went to waste. Luckily we had plenty of beer to keep us from getting to hungry.

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from bsheahan1229 wrote 52 weeks 1 hour ago

Once, when I was in charge of planning the meals for a Boy Scout camping trip, I decided to make doughnuts for a dessert after dinner in a dutch oven. I was using Pillsbury biscuits and a dutch oven filled with oil. I had no idea how hot the oil was, and I was never all that good at cooking with oil. I put a couple of the biscuits in the oil, and decided to just wait until they looked good on the outside to take them out, cover them in cinnamon and sugar, and serve them. The first few started out well, but I became overly confident with the last ones. They were still raw in the middle, and I didn't want to put them back in, or they'd get soggy. So, I just assumed that people would not eat the raw dough and just have another to compensate if they wanted. But apparently people did not want to eat around it, so they just ate the whole thing and still had a ton. Then, we ran around outside, and went to bed. When I woke up, everyone was telling me how they got up in the middle of the night and felt like they were going to throw up. I felt bad, because I had, in a way, poisoned a group of Boy Scouts. They didn't seem to trust my judgement the next morning during breakfast.

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from js246608 wrote 52 weeks 44 min ago

On a 3-day backpacking trip with a college class, I decided to bring along the ingredients for two backpacking meals I had read about in a magazine (I've decided to never try this again without first attempting the recipe at home). The first night, balancing a whisperlite camp stove on a patch of more-or-less even ground, I made the mistake of using all the ingredients at once and produced a thick bannock cake which was burned on the outside and barely cooked on the inside. As bad as that was, the next night I tried cooking a dish using instant stuffing mix and canned smoked oysters with the addition of vienna sausages. I ended up putting in too much water, and ended up with a nasty wet yellow slop which had a disgusting mixture of smoked oyster water and cheap vienna sausage flavoring. I went back to the bannock (the same thick half-burned cake from the night before) with a little honey to mask the flavor. I lived off that thing for the rest of the trip.

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from Neil J. Selbicky wrote 52 weeks 29 min ago

Don't need to go back too far for this memory. 2011 was a good waterfowl year for myself. Shot all mallards except for two teal. September of 2012 had to figure out what to do with the mallards left in the freezer? The answer came when my sister send down some smoked duck jerky samples from Washington State. I can do that! So I got her recipe and fired up the smoker. Carefully mixing the marinade and soaking the meat strips I moved on to that "firing up" time. Set the smoker out in the garage where I could watch from inside the house. I then sat down to tie a few steelhead flies Occasionally looking up to see "plenty of smoke", I became so engrossed in completing a few flies I neglected to check on my little project outside. If I had done so I would soon noted that I had put too may briquets in the now very hot smoker. When I did finally check the smoker, my prized mallard duck jerky strips were all burnt very crisp. My only saving consolation was that my niece down in California loves burnt jerky and she accepted the whole lot without reservation.

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from mspl8sdcntryboy wrote 52 weeks 12 min ago

A couple of years ago me and my family went camping, before we left my mother made mason jar meals (entire meals that are put into a jar, sans liquid ingredients). One meal she made was apple cinnamon pancakes for breakfast, well instead of reading the label she made for it, we decided to wing it. Well we put the amount of liquid ingredients required, when the pancakes were done we bit into them, some of the best tasting ever, one problem though--they were extremely thick and gummy, nearly to the point of chocking. Problem: the jars held more than one meal each so instead of dividing the dry ingredients into serving sizes we just added one serving of liquid to 5+ servings of dry ingredients!

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from mspl8sdcntryboy wrote 52 weeks 9 min ago

Also, once while oven-cooking a pot roast we noticed that it was getting a little dry so we added water, COLD WATER! Well let's just say cold water to a hot pan isn't very advantageous to your health!

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from B0whunt3r wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Growing up my mom taught all of us boys how to cook and follow a recipe at a fairly young age. I've been cooking meal since I was 10. So it would be nothing for my mom to have one of her son start dinner before she got home from work. This one evening we were going to have home made pizza and she instructed my young brother to mix up the dough so it could rise and when she got home make the pizza. So he got out her recipe and followed it to the letter. The problem was that the recipe called for 2 packets of yeast. I know your thinking so what's the problem? Well, on my dear mothers last shopping trip, she found a deal on bulk yeast that was in 3 pound packages. So 6 pounds of yeast went into the dough.

Needless to say we didn't have pizza that night. I don't remember what we had, but what I do remember is my mom coming home to a giant blob of dough sitting on the counter after it overgrew it's bowl. And her launching an investigation into what happened and laughing hystarically when my brother responded with "it said two packets and these were all I could find."

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from jodum wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

While camped with my two hunting buddies on a late season squirrel hunt I was selected as camp cook. When preparing the evening meal of red beans and cornbread I some how fouled up the cornbread by obviously adding one to many shots of Jack Daniels to the cook. I don't know what I did to it but it was totally unedible. One of the guys laughed and said maybe the squirrel dog would eat it. He tossed the whole pan of cornbread to the squirrel dog that was laying next to the fire. The old dog got up and walked over to the cornbread, smelled of it, then raised his hind leg and peed on it. The dog then returned to his original spot and layer down. Now talk about an insult to the camp cook.

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from MaxPower wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Admittedly it's not very rugged, but Dad and I were tasked with picking up some kind of punch for a reception which was to follow a church choir concert. When we picked it up from the caterers place it was in a big plastic 10 gallon container with a handle and screw-on lid on the top. It also came with dry ice which we were told needed to be added about 10 minutes before being served. We arrived, carried it all in to the church and being the 12-year-old boy I was I made sure I got to add the dry ice. Unknowingly I screwed the lid on right after I put the dry ice in (I should have known how to make a dry ice bomb by this time in life). My dad noticed this and immediately tried to unscrew it but there was already too much pressure. So the two of us hustled it outside and then set it in the middle of the parking lot and took cover behind some cars. A short moment later the thing blew, and shot up at least 40 feet in the air. Dad and I couldn't stop laughing, that is until mom verbally went beast mode on the both of us.

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from Fruguy101 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

I was going to cook some chicken nuggets for my daughter one night. There was oil in a cast iron skillet from the night before, and I thought i would just use that instead of the deep fryer. My son was an infant, and after turning on the eye, I had to go change his diaper. Forgetting all about the oil on the stove, it started to smoke the kitchen up really bad. In my wisdom, I thought I would just take the whole thing outside and throw it in the yard. While walking out the back door, the hot oil started sloshing from side to side. As I took my third step out the door, the hot oil splashed out onto my arm, legs, and feet in small droplets. As it burned those tiny spots, I dropped the pan, which splashed burning hot oil onto my left foot causing second degree burns all along the inside of the foot and on top of it. The blisters were gigantic, and when the doctor popped them to take the burned skin off, it sounded like you were pouring a glass of water on the floor there was so much fluid in them. A bottle of Loritabs, a tub of burn cream, and a month later, my foot was much better. No more hot oil on the stove for me!

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from mike0714 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Not my story but the old man always brought this one up when we talked about horrible meals. It is him cooking and my quasi uncle who was my dads life time partner in stupidity helping. I was four or five at the time and my dad despite not being a hunter had brought me out on the hunt to get out and learn more about the outdoors. We packed up the truck, camper, my dad, uncle, a family friend and my uncles dog. then drove to CO for the hunt. The old man and my uncle were helping on friends hunt and cooking for elk camp. For lunch my dad made corn bread(more like corn bricks) venison stew(saved meal) and for desert he was making funnel cakes with a Dutch oven. The cakes were a great hit and he started cleaning up. He forgot the oil in the oven and it caught on fire (note it was an old school 3.5 gallon oven that I still have) and the flames where about 6 feet high. For some reason my idiot uncle kicked the pot away from the camper (the camper was over 15 ft away from fire and the fire would have gone out on its own) just as he kicked the pot his 150 lb saint bernard was running by and sure enough he lit the dog on fire and it took off in to the woods. My uncle took off after the dog and tackled him patting him out. When we got home my aunt would have hilled my uncle if it weren't for the third degree burns on his arms. The dog on the other hand only had a few large patches of singed hair and a few minor burns here and there.

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from mike0714 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

on a *friends hunt Killed* my uncle sorry about the mistakes

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from MattM37 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

My worst cooking disaster was when no cooking at all occurred, thanks to a cousin who was supposed to bring the skillet and didn't. The only flat rocks around were in the streambed and we didn't want to put those near the fire. I had already mixed the pancake batter ... so we just simply drank it. It wasn't bad, really, but later in the day we were thankful for the stand of nice leafy maples near our campsite.

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from coachsjike wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

several years ago i decided to build and mortar a nice firepit in the backyard. i used good pennsylvania field stone too which was quite expensive but we decided to use it anyway because of its color and we had planned to cook over it at one time or another. several weeks after the firepit was done, my wife and i decided to get a fire going , throw the home made cooking grates on and cook up some steaks. while i was waiting for the fire to burn down to coals, i turned my back for a few seconds and my wife starts screaming. part of the concrete that i used as a base came apart and literally shot ten feet up in the air and came crashing down with coal all over the place. apparently the concrete was still GREEN and the moisture in it turned to steam which then became explosive...go figure. steaks eventually went on the propane grill but what a mess.

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from Boudreaux Boyer wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

My story is not as ellaborate as most of the others. My worst coooking mistake to date happened as a teenager. I decided to cook some instant ragu in the microwave in a plastic bowl. It was a simple task however in my absent mindedness i forgot to add water and left the kitchen. I returned after 3 minutes to find a very expensive microwave spewing flames. My biggest mistake of the ordeal, telling my wife (girlfriend at the time) of what happened. I have not lived it down to this day.

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from fozziee2 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

It was our aniversary one year and a sick baby ruined my plans for a romantic dinner out with my wife. I decided to put baby to bed and make steak au poiuve for a nice dinner in. I pan seared the fillets real nice on both sides and got the cognac ready to de-glaze the pan... and a little glaze for the chef too. When I poured the liquor in the pan, I got a little heavy handed. When it came time to flame off the cognac, the roaring fireball was so big that it was sucked up into the vent fan over the stove, setting the filter on fire and melting the plastic fan blades. I was quick enough to move the steaks away from the stove before spraying the stove and vent with the fire extinguisher so our "romantic" dinner was saved... sort of.

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from swiftblade13 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Once a long time ago back when I was about 12 I decided to cook some frozen garlic bread in the microwave, as I was too impatient and hungry I put it on 10 minutes and decided I'll come by later and check on it. Sure enough I for got about it and only when the smoke started coming down the hall did I remember by then the microwave was spewing 12 inch flames, the cabinets and backslash were covered in soot and inside the microwave was a perfect square of coal.

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from Williamk8987 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

A few years ago I was suppose to go camping with my now wife. Well due to a hurricane we were forced to cancel. She was bummed so I brought that camping experience to my apartment, burgers, beers, s'mores, and the whole 9 yards. I was really impressing her. Then I decided to make jiffy pop. Well somehow it caught fire, which started to spread to dish towels, paper towels, and other items I had scattered around. The alarms started to go off and the fire department showed up. Luckly I was able to put out the flames before it spread to my cabinets and caused real damage. But it took the mood away from the evening and she still busts my chops over it.

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from dighunter wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

I couldn't resist sharing this story also. In my pursuit of learning about things that can be gleaned from nature, I began making maple syrup. My first batch of syrup was a big one. I had boiled down about 80 gallons of sap which would finish off to almost 2 gallons of syrup. I brought the almost finished syrup into the house to finish. I couldn't find a large enough pan to hold the syrup while I cleaned my finishing pan and set up my filter so I grabbed the glass casserole dish drying in the dish drainer. (I know my mistake) I dumped the syrup into the dish and turned my back just as I heard a large crack. The dish had shattered and 2 gallons of maple syrup was running all over my stove top, down the sides of the stove, over onto the counter, and somehow got in between the pieces of glass on the oven door. My wife (God bless her) didn't say a thing. She grabbed a rag to help me and we spent the next three hours dismantling our kitchen to clean up two gallons of maple syrup. Let alone the mess, I had wasted three days of boiling, 1/4 of a chord of wood, a glass dish and all that syrup.

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from BIGGAMECOCK wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

While trying to impress my now wife's Argentine parents with some freshly harvested doves in a stir-fry, I decided that to make the long flat ribbons of carrots (like the Chinese take-out places can do), the mandolin would be easiest.
On the very first pass of the carrot, longways across the blade, the carrot got stuck. How to fix that - push harder with my thumb.
Well, I got the carrot to go through, and about 1/4 inch of the tip of my thumb followed right along.
This was 30 seconds before her parents walked in. Luckily she had left a hair rubberband on the counter, which made a handy turniquet for my pulsing thumb.
To make the situation better - her father was a physician. Apparently this wound was "just a little cut" and he'd seen way worse. Just some steri-gauze (conveniently in his car) would heal it right up (it stopped bleeding by breakfast).
Long story short, fresh human blood and a fingertip in the food prep area is considered less-than-sanitary. My entire harvest was discarded and we ordered in Chinese food - from the real pros - with those impeccably cut ribbons of carrots.

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from Drover1 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

I always avoided shooting Mergansers because I’d heard they are no good to eat, and I’m generally pretty good at identifying them in flight. One day, years ago, I was paddling my canoe up a narrow river on a duck hunt. Suddenly a fast-flying group of small ducks came screaming around a bend in the river, flying low and right at me. I thought they were teal, grabbed my gun, picked one out and shot. That duck and the one behind it folded and dropped like stones. I was congratulating myself on the great shot while retrieving them, then realized they were Common Mergansers. I decided I was going to cook them anyway. I’ve had lots of fish and game that “conventional wisdom” says are poor table fare, but actually turn out fine if cooked properly. So, I placed the whole, plucked ducks in a crock pot with onions, garlic, celery and lots of seasonings. Started it in the morning and left the house for most of the day. When my wife and I returned at around dinner time, the entire house smelled like I was cooking a road-killed possum seasoned with aged carp. I had to bury the whole mess in the garden. My wife wanted me to throw the crock pot away, but I managed to clean it for future use. Moral of the story – unless you want to mount one, leave the Mergansers alone.

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from nitrojoe wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

Simply boil eggs until the water is gone and you'll end up with egg on the ceiling and everything else within 15 feet.

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from briarfire007 wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

I was no chef (or frequent party host) in college. But one night I decided to have several people over to watch a movie and to feast on one of my favorite delicacies: "pigs in a blanket". I had pre-rolled my pigs and planned on putting them in the oven just as the movie started so that i could bring out a tray of hot fresh pigs to eat while we watched the movie. Well somehow I managed to put the oven on the self-clean cycle just after putting the pigs in. And so now the oven is going to get WAY to hot. And it locks shut. All of our dinner was doomed. I ended up jimmying the lock with a butter knife. This worked, although I nearly got quite a shock b/c a current went thru the knife and blew a small scorched hole right out the side of it. The pigs in a blanket were only slightly burnt by this time.

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from hutter wrote 51 weeks 6 days ago

My worst was when I let my wife cook,anything. She's a horrible cook and she will tell you so!

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from -Bob wrote 51 weeks 3 days ago

It’s a very long story, which can be reduced to the following equation:

Electric smoker + plastic patio table = BIG hole + annoyed wife.

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from Diane Boyle-Mather wrote 51 weeks 2 days ago

Well first off my whole familysays when the smoke detector goes off they know dinner is ready.

When I first got married I planned a turkey dinner, who knew it had to thaw first. Needless to say dinner was ruined. I don't think that turkey ever finished cooking. I have been married almost 17 yrs and last year was the first time I attempted a turkey dinner again and it was for Thanksgiving thank goodness everything turned out great.

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from woodpecker wrote 51 weeks 2 days ago

When we first got electricity to our deer hunting camp, I thought, wow this will be great. Now we can have most of our evening meals by using a crock pot. Less time wasted waiting for food to heat up and less clean up afterword. This is going to be great. My wife said, "just turn it on low before you leave and when you get back seven or eight hours later all you'll have to do is , wipe your hands off on your shirt, dish up and eat". However, if your gone for twelve and a half hours.......not so.

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from cb bob wrote 51 weeks 2 days ago

One of my early adventures in cooking was at our hunting cabin. It was just my Brother-in-law, and I, and I was going to cook while he went into town to pick up some food for the rest of the week. We had venison backstraps in the freezer, so the plan was to defrost the back straps, rub them with a little olive oil, and Dad's home made rub, put them on a Really hot grill for a couple minutes each side, and they come out delicious! Well, the first thing I did was sit the venison in cold water to defrost, and then went to fire up the grill. It started to drizzle, so I moved the grill closer to the cabin, under the overhang. the defrosting was going nowhere, so I fished the venison out of the water, and decided to try to defrost in the microwave. The back straps were still in the vacuum bag, I put them on a paper plate, and turned on the microwave. That's when everything went wrong. I smelled smoke, The paper plate caught on fire, melted the plastic on to the Venison, and ruined it. I went outside to turn off the grill, which had gotten VERY hot, and being too close to the house, melted the vinyl siding 4 feet all around it. When my brother-in-law returned, and found the devastation that was dinner, he could not catch his breath from laughing so hard. We had soup, and sandwiches for dinner, and I spent the next day replacing siding instead of hunting.

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from Gtbigsky wrote 51 weeks 2 days ago

In College my girl friend and I decided to make dinner at my place. As usual, I would be doing the cooking because she was very challenged in that area. Since it was a cold wintery evening i decided on making some hearty beef short ribs. My girl friend came over and we began preparing the meal as well as drinking some super classy jug wine. After a few hours of braising the ribs in my 14" csat iron skillet they were done and ready to come out of the over. I opened the over door and grabbed the handle of the skillet. My problem was i wasn't wearing an oven mitt or using a towel. Thats right i firmly grabbed a 350 degree pan with my bare hands. Like anyone in my situation would have done, i tried to do the logical thing, Get hand off of burning thing. Simple right? Well instead of with drawing my hand horizontally, i made a rather abrupt vertical motion, and smashed my arm into the burner on top of the oven. I don't know what hurt worse, the actual flesh being seared off of my hand and arm? or, the fact that i was stupid enough to grab something that didn't just come "right out of the oven" no, it was still in the thing. Nothing a little more Carlos Rossi and aloe didnt fix.

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from Gtbigsky wrote 51 weeks 2 days ago

In College my girl friend and I decided to make dinner at my place. As usual, I would be doing the cooking because she was very challenged in that area. Since it was a cold wintery evening i decided on making some hearty beef short ribs. My girl friend came over and we began preparing the meal as well as drinking some super classy jug wine. After a few hours of braising the ribs in my 14" csat iron skillet they were done and ready to come out of the over. I opened the over door and grabbed the handle of the skillet. My problem was i wasn't wearing an oven mitt or using a towel. Thats right i firmly grabbed a 350 degree pan with my bare hands. Like anyone in my situation would have done, i tried to do the logical thing, Get hand off of burning thing. Simple right? Well instead of with drawing my hand horizontally, i made a rather abrupt vertical motion, and smashed my arm into the burner on top of the oven. I don't know what hurt worse, the actual flesh being seared off of my hand and arm? or, the fact that i was stupid enough to grab something that didn't just come "right out of the oven" no, it was still in the thing. Nothing a little more Carlos Rossi and aloe didnt fix.

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from GrantHarland wrote 51 weeks 22 hours ago

I shot my first wild turkey a few years back and was really excited to cook it up and eat it. I decided to smoke a leg in my Brinkman, and after the leg reached the appropriate temperature I took it out. After one taste, I knew it wasn't the result I was hoping for. After I choked down a few more, I looked down and my 2 year old Australian Shepherd was staring at the leg like it was a perfectly cooked aged ribeye. It was a win win situation. I peeled and shredded all the meat off the bone and mixed it in his dog food over the next few weeks. Glad not to waste the meat and my dog couldn't have been happier to eat the poorly cooked bird.

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