By David Draper

Last week’s “What The Heck Is This?” contest garnered about 50 correct responses, though I suspect only about the first 10 or so actually recognized the device as a biltong cutter. Of all the correct entries, Neuman23’s number came up in the random drawing, so congratulations to him and thanks to everyone else who entered their guesses.

I’ve also been remiss in picking a winner for the Worst Cooking Disaster contest back in April. T. Rebel and I finally got on the same page and came up with our favorite stories. There were some doozies, including DigHunter digging into some under fried chicken after some late-night shenanigans and Bowhunt3r’s tale of his brother’s attempt at making pizza dough. If you haven’t read those—or the rest of the great entries—it’s worth the time just for the laughs.

The story we both agreed was our favorite had all the ingredients of a classic: the inept “quasi-uncle,” a grease fire, and a scalded dog. Plus, there were funnel cakes involved, and both T. Rebel and I love funnel cakes. So congratulations go out to mikeo714 for his tale of hunt camp cooking gone wrong:

The old man and my uncle were helping on friend’s hunt and cooking for elk camp. For lunch, my dad made corn bread (more like corn bricks) venison stew (saved meal) and for dessert he was making funnel cakes in the Dutch oven. The cakes were a great hit, and he started cleaning up. He forgot the oil in the oven and it caught on fire. The flames were about 6 feet high. My idiot uncle kicked the pot away from the camper. Just as he kicked the pot, his 150-pound Saint Bernard was running by and sure enough he lit the dog on fire and it took off in to the woods. My uncle took off after the dog and tackled him patting him out. When we got home my aunt would have killed my uncle if it weren't for the third-degree burns on his arms. The dog, on the other hand, only had a few large patches of singed hair and a few minor burns here and there.

Thanks to everyone who sent in their kitchen disaster stories. They were a hoot to read, and it’s good knowing my girlfriend and I aren’t the only ones who have experienced some crazy cooking disasters. At least we haven’t lit the dog on fire. Yet.

Neuman23 and mikeo714, please drop me a note at fswildchef@gmail.com, and I’ll get your Camp Chef and Cabela’s prize packages sent your way.