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Campfire

Kentucky

Uploaded on March 13, 2010

THE RULES

OF RURAL Kentucky ARE

AS FOLLOWS:

Listen

up City Slickers !

1. Pull

your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't

crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's

called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want

to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust

on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks.

That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like

money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Rt. 80

goes east and20west, I-75 goes north and south. Pick one.

5... So you have a $60,000 car. We're

impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are

driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person

in Southern Kentucky waves. It's called being friendly. Try to

understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone

rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL

shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to

your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat taters

& gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want sushi &

caviar? It's available, at the corner bait shop.

9.

The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a

religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of

November.

10.... We open doors for women. That

is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No,

there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order

steak.
Or you

can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &

turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there

are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three

spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
Oh, yeah.....We

don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you

eat...IT AIN'T

REAL CHILI!!

13.

You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and

served over ice.

14. You

bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to

shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair..

15.

College and High School Football is as important here as

the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit

the water hazards- - it spooks the fish.

17.

Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities

, Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an

education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at

everybody when they come for the holidays.

18.

We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy,

Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us.

If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

19.

Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap

ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want

to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.

20.. 4

inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry.Drive like you got some

sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from

the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska , worst case you may have to

live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades

will have you out the next day

Top Rated
All Replies
from Dakotah Dan wrote 4 years 3 weeks ago

Comment on #1 & 2:
Pants on the ground
Pants on the ground
Lookin’ like a fool with you pants on the ground
Gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat looking like a fool
Walking down town with yo pants on the ground
get it up!!
HEY! got your pants off the ground
lookin like a fool, walkin talking
with you pants on the ground
get it up
hey get them pants off the ground
Lookin’ like a fool with you pants on the ground
Gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat looking like a fool
Lookin’ like a fool with you pants on the ground
(thanks to General Larry Platt)

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from GERG wrote 4 years 2 weeks ago

Grew up round Paducah then southern Alabama and Now Arkansas. Those rules pretty well apply in all thos places kent. Good job!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from furbuster wrote 3 years 39 weeks ago

Kentucky man your rite on tract. I live in southern In. & work in "The Ville". What part are you from neighbor?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from .30cal fan wrote 3 years 37 weeks ago

them rules apply in southeast ky too

0 Good Comment? | | Report

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from GERG wrote 4 years 2 weeks ago

Grew up round Paducah then southern Alabama and Now Arkansas. Those rules pretty well apply in all thos places kent. Good job!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dakotah Dan wrote 4 years 3 weeks ago

Comment on #1 & 2:
Pants on the ground
Pants on the ground
Lookin’ like a fool with you pants on the ground
Gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat looking like a fool
Walking down town with yo pants on the ground
get it up!!
HEY! got your pants off the ground
lookin like a fool, walkin talking
with you pants on the ground
get it up
hey get them pants off the ground
Lookin’ like a fool with you pants on the ground
Gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat looking like a fool
Lookin’ like a fool with you pants on the ground
(thanks to General Larry Platt)

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from furbuster wrote 3 years 39 weeks ago

Kentucky man your rite on tract. I live in southern In. & work in "The Ville". What part are you from neighbor?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from .30cal fan wrote 3 years 37 weeks ago

them rules apply in southeast ky too

0 Good Comment? | | Report

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