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Bourjaily: How to Shoot a Vampire

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August 26, 2008

Bourjaily: How to Shoot a Vampire

By David E. Petzal and Phil Bourjaily

Turns out wooden stakes are just for fictional movie vampires. When real vampires attack us, we can just shoot them with regular guns. Isn’t that good to know?

This revelation comes from Scott Bowen, a former editor at Field & Stream and author of the new “Vampire Survival Guide” by Skyhorse Press. (It’s no surprise to me that Bowen wrote this book. Scott is very pale and seriously, I never saw him wear anything but all black. But, I think he’s on our side). The “Vampire Survival Guide” is an entertaining read, along the lines of “Zombie Survival Guide” but funnier and more thoroughly imagined. As you might expect, given Scott’s F&S background, there’s a section on guns and loads. In it, he explains that vampires are no different from anything else. They will succumb to “massive tissue damage” even if that tissue is already undead.

As Scott goes on to point out, vampire shooting is a low-visibility, nighttime event, so shots are mostly taken well inside 100 yards. Since vampires travel in groups (“covens” is the technical  term) of six to 40 members you’ll want to carry lots of ammunition.

To sum up: your vampire gun needs to make big holes; it need only be effective/accurate to 75-100 yards at most; it should fire fairly quickly; it should hold a lot of bullets.

Looking through my gun cabinet which contains exactly zero centerfires, the only likely candidates I find are my various turkey and slug guns. If the uprising starts tonight I will make due with an 870 turkey gun topped with an Aimpoint 9000. I’ll load it with Federal’s Low-Recoil Truball slugs: one ounce, .729” lumps of lead  launched at a shoulder friendly 1200 fps (I may have to shoot a lot of vampires). I think that will do in a pinch, but the ammunition is bulky and the gun only holds five rounds. Obviously I need to shop for a dedicated vampire rifle. 

Any suggestions?

Comments (51)

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from Jon in AZ wrote 5 years 29 weeks ago

The Remington 870 is a good start, you just need to add an extended mag tube and a bayonet lug just incase it comes down to arms reach.

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from Dr. Ralph wrote 5 years 32 weeks ago

Grow a pair Charles, it's idiots like you who back down from our constitutional rights that give the left the edge. I'm not ashamed nor afraid to express my opinions or exercise my freedoms...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 5 years 32 weeks ago

As if I spent those years in the kendo/ iaido dojo to hunt the Undead with a gun. My damascus bladed shinken sword will do just fine versus zombies or vampires. I do have a Mossberg 500 and my trusty 1911 in case the party gets too hearty. I'd likely go for Brenneke slugs in the shotgun, hadn't really thought too much about loads for the 1911.

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from Joe Crawford wrote 5 years 33 weeks ago

Silly folks, Remington's been making Silvertips for years, and everybody knows it takes a silver bullet to dispatch a vampire. I like 'em in .308, myself.

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from Bob In Tampa wrote 5 years 33 weeks ago

Goodness Gracious, Charles! Lighten up!

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from Bob In Tampa wrote 5 years 33 weeks ago

Goodness Gracious, Charles! Lighten up!

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from charles slusser wrote 5 years 33 weeks ago

hard to belive that all these commentators have nothing better to do than hang all this crap in the face of those who would look for any fuel for the fight to ban all guns.. all the bull---t about how and when too shoot everything and with massive collteral tissue damage ,and here we are agian CAN'T FIX STUPID

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from Brian T wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Thanks Matt. What a bummer, I have to pull all that silver out of my precious handloads. Listeria-laden lunch meat might be slow but it appears to work. With the recall there's lots of variety available.Even with Barnes, does it still take "two in the body and one in the head to guarantee they're really dead?"

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from Philip Brown wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Regarding the original proposition, which was to use an 870 pump, I seem to remember ads for aftermarket, high-cap magazine adaptors for shotguns which would solve that problem. Add in the variety of specialist ammo and the 870 still makes a lot of sense - if you believe in vampires.Come to think of it if you look at the Democrat candidates it is a lot easier to believe.

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from Ricardo Rodríguez wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I would go for a lighter round, like 9mm, but in hollowpoints, and lots of ammo. Where is the fun if you kill them with just one shot? An uzi or MP5 would do it. And to be more effective, the bullets can be sprayed with a solution of holly water and vegetables desinfectant, wich cointains coloidal silver (works like a charm and you don´t go broke making silver bullets). A good backup could be the .45/.410 Taurus revolver in case the vampires try to take off.

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from Chester Q. Bigfoot wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Matt,Jackson,-Jeez guys,what we ever do to you? By the way,I shoot back.

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from duff wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

The right bait pile plus claymores...then any number of the excellent rifle or smoothbore choices mentioned above.Unique post Phil.Thanks.

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from james ti wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

we could lock all the vampires in the pepsi center in denver and toss in all the liberal politicians and listen to them scream "Man i wish i had a gun!!!" now would be a great time with the donkey gig going on!

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from forensiccns wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Gentlemen we need to think this out. Why does this have to be close in shooting? Why can't it be like sniping groundhogs.Yes we stake out a couple of PETA volunteers but at a thousand yard range. With a 50 caliber single shot sniper rifle and a night scope you should be able to set there and pick them off like apples on a tree. Everybody knows that vampires are not the sharpest blade in the drawer so they will continue to mill around the volunteers while their numbers are being decimated! You could sit there all night!

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from Scott wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

"AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherf****r in the room, accept no substitutes."--Ordell Robbie from "Jackie Brown"

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from Richard wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Everyone keeps talking about these big-bore guns to take these beasts down, how about 'light' loads?I know, that was lame...

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from Zermoid wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I dunno guys, I'd go for the cheaper option, the AK I already have and lots of Russian Hollow Point ammo which can be picked up cheaply at any decent gun store by the case, add some 30 rd or bigger mags to hold said ammo and rip those vampires apart for pennies.If you can't hit 30 vampires with 1000 rounds of ammo you deserve whatever you get!

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from tay wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

AR-14 in .450 bushmaster or .50 beowulf. I've always been fascinated by these midrange thumpers but never thought they had a truly practical use. Glad to know I have a justification for buying one now.

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from Jackson Landers wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

To Matt:Funny you should ask. I wrote up a whole technical article about choosing the right rifle and cartridge for Sasquatch just a few months ago. Here it is:http://rule-303.blogspot.com/2008/07/hunting-sasquatch-right-rifle-for-job.html

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from Jackson Landers wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

If money wasn't a big issue, I'd say an M1 Garand. Barring that, an AR-10. I think you want to stick with a chambering that is going to be available at any store that sells ammo in order to facilitate emergency supplies. 30-06 or .308 are the way to go. With softpoints or other hunting bullets, you're getting massive tissue damage within any practical range.

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from Carney wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Vampires? Simple. Attack with a flood light and defend with a light saber.Werewolves? Doesn't matter what you shoot them with as long as it's a "silver edition"...

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from james ti wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

i cannot believe you do not have one centerfire rifle in your gun cabinet!dave? oh, where are you david? you see david can't be with us today because since obama chose biden the poor, hard luck, vote for me, story as his running mate(and whatever else they will do in the wee hours of the morning) david had to put obama's brother, hamid back in that hunting pack and transport him to canada so he can try to get elected there.not one centerfire?!if PETA hears you guys talking about killing the poor werewolves, sasquach, bats, liberals and femenists we are going to be attacked by their deadly cartoons that they have become so adept at using. you are putting us all in danger and we may have to go underground just to survive! i just heard something intecepted from nancy pelosi: the revolution begins at 4: 35pm! entertainment is at 7!

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from Blue Ox wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Hell, this is almost as good as the 'Hunting T-Rex' blog a while back.

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from Mark-1 wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

From my kids who collect and appreciate the zombie/vampire B-movie art form,"Ya gotta shoot "em in the head, Dad, shoot "em in the head."BTW don't eat pizza when viewing these flicks.

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from Cliff B wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Winchester ammo. has recently come out with the 'Van Helsing' .450 silver tip. Big seller in Eastern Europe,for a very specific market niche.

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from Michael wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Dave,Seriously, you shouldn't start drinking before you brainstorm for ideas for this blog.Just in case, you don't have any recipes for loading garlic in a 12 ga. 3 1/2" hull, do you?

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from FLBobcat wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

First time response.You guys are great!

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from lastearlofshaw wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I thought a "coven" was a multiple of feminists...

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from John from Louisiana wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Clay, you can buy the brass for the .45 Win Mag, check out this source for brass: http://catalog.ammodepot.com/itemlist.php?classid=73qb0hqeDies and bullets are also available.Phil: it's "make do" not "make due".Thanks,John

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from eyeball wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

It would seem to me that X bullets would be best in any caliber. They turn into a cross as soon as they hit meat.

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from Jack Ryan wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

That 870 is just about perfect. A smooth slug barrel would be a little better but only a semi auto like an 1100 or 1187 would be better.The best thing you could do is switch to #4 buck for vampires. They are actually rather frail but it it is a concern then 00 buck is plenty. Then you could probably even kill them two deep.Even though they come in large covens they rarely attack in groups of more than 3-4. Kind of like bad guys in the movie, even though there is a dozen standing around they allow you to pick them off one or two at a time and the Remington shot guns allow for this as you can reload with out disabling or emptying the weapon.

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from matt wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Brian, concerning your silver bullets, contrary to popular belief they possess no great advantage for werewolves. Trophy bonded bear claws are the way to go here. Of course, its really a moot point as these critters are under ESA protection. I've heard rumors they may soon be delisted in the West, though. Too many ranchers turning out with mutilated calves, sheep, ranch hands, etc. Going back to silver bullets, I've been told they are appropriate rounds for taking Loch Ness Monsters (Yes, there are more than one of them). Couldn't tell you from experience as I've been unable to draw a tag yet.P.S. While we are on the general topic, does anyone have suggestions for Sasquatch? I've tried asking Rick Dyer and Matt Whitton but they haven't returned my emails :)

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from Gritz wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I could not resist. I believe that the Marlin 444 was born for this very application. The recoil might make it tiring to fire more than 20 rounds in one sitting but at least with Hornady leveRevolution rounds you won't have to worry about using more than a round or two per vamp. When choosing my go to rifle I almost went with this but went with a rem 700 in 30 06 instead. I wasn't worried about getting rushed by quarry though and if I was to be put on by a bunch of googly-eyed vamps I would have surely went with the lever action. I used to have a model 94 and I like the idea of reloading shells without having to open the action or count rounds. All you do, in between action, is pump more shells into the tube until you can't get anymore in. I would, of course, have my 357 on my side in case I needed more back up.

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from Thomas wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

My weapon of choice for Vampire hunting would be a Auto Assault 12 automatic shotgun or AA12 loaded with 00 Buck and a 100 round drum.Any shotgun that can fire 6 rounds a second has my vote.Tom the Troll

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from Thomas wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Matt,you are forgetting about the blood banks. Alot of blood banks hold mobiles at factories at night. They come in and hold a night time blood draw for the factory worker that work 3rd shift and are not there during the day time when they are normally there. Usually they collect the blood and a little old man will come and pick up the pints of blood every 2 hours. He is a prime target because he is usually carrying 10 to 20 fresh, hot, pints of blood in an igloo cooler.Tom the Troll

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from Thomas wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Clay,The LAR .45 may be out of Production but anything that shoots the .45 Super is not. And if you don't want that try a .50 GI. I have my eye on a Springfield 1911 V16. I know, I know it is a ported barrel but I think that you can find non ported and compensated models. I suppose if you want the interchangeability that the LAR 45 had you would have to go to the Desert Eagle. I have wanted a LAR 45 myself the last last 16 years.Tom the Troll

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from Brian T wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Thanks, Matt, for the hunting guide. WhatamIgonnado with the stockpile of silver bullets?

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from Clayton wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Saiga 12 with a whole lot of magazines, topped with a decent Aimpoint. Also be sure to have a 1911 with more magazines.

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from Dr. Ralph wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Matt, could you tell us your last name and address so I can get this restraining order filled out ASAP? Seriously nice post...

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from johnl wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Matt,Bravo!!!!Excellent insight from someone with obvious experience!Thanks for shedding some light.(Sorry, couldn't resist)

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from matt wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Allow me to share my two cents worth, given my extensive experience in the matter. The first rule one must consider in hunting the Blood-Sucking Undead, hereafter to be referred to simply as the BSU. BSU hunting is essentially a combination of big-game and wing-shooting. This is due to the BSU's ability to morph from humanoid into Chiroptera (that would be bat, for those who didn't know) form to escape dangerous situations. The BSU hunter is thus left with two choices. The first is to carry a centerfire rifle as the main weapon with a shotgun as a backup. Unfortunately, this weighs the hunter down with extra weight… never a good situation should your first shot miss and the hunted becomes the hunter. Logically, a rifle-shotgun combination is recommended. The Remington model SPR94 is a reliable choice though feel free to contact other manufacturers to see what models are available. I would recommend yours in 12 gauge/.223 Remington. As for shotgun loads, BSUs are deceptively fast targets to plan accordingly. More care must be taken when deciding on rifle loads. Due to the very soft nature of the BSU’s unliving flesh, solids loads are a poor choice. Expanding soft points which will maximize tissue damage should be used. Illuminated sights should be used, given that BSU hunting only occurs in twilight.A few more points to consider. Firstly, invest in a good cover scent. You must remember that your quarry will be stalking you as well to in order to sooth its unholy lust for human blood. While cover scents based on garlic are effective in the extreme, they will work TOO well and result in a lack of shooting opportunities. I personally use Drac N Holy Water-based BSU field scent. Holy water acts as a very effective short range BSU deterrent. The scent does not travel far, thus giving you plenty of shooting opportunity without risk of neck puncture. One of the raging debates in BSU hunting involves the sportingness of BSU baiting, that is hunting the demonic fliers over staked out quarry. My own opinion is that the afore-mentioned speed and intelligence of the BSU makes them excellent sport in any conditions so improving your odds with a little bait is fine. This is particularly true if you are introducing your children to the sport… always something that should be done at an early age to prepare them for the coming Vampire Apocalypse. Whatever you do, do not attempt to cut corners by using beef blood purchased from a butcher. While cheap, the BSU can tell the difference miles away. This will do nothing more than spook your quarry. Human blood, while not available commercially, if your only option. So much the better if offered in the form of a living person as the thrashing, crying, and screams for mercy only act to add to the lure. Your sacrifice can be attained from any number of sources. PETA rallies are always an excellent place to start. So to are meetings formed by members of the gun-control community. Any future Million Mom Marches would therefore be excellent opportunities to stock up to BSU bait. Once the bait is in place, don’t shoot the first dark, hissing thing that comes to it. Allow a number to congregate (as mentioned before, the tend to travel in covens and sample the victim. Once the BSUs have gotten a taste for blood, they can be picked off fairly easily with little concerning for spooking them.

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from Lone Star 45 wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Call a bunch of liberal and tell them you’re having a party and bring all their friends. All of them will feel at home!

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from Mike Diehl wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Hey Phil -As you are a shotgun fellow I'll recommend two rounds, but use your most disposable shotgun. Load a combination of "Frag 12" 12 ga. explosive grenades and alternate with 12 ga. "dragons's breath" (a zirconium pyro round -- think "12 ga. flamethrower" and you have the idea).

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from jes wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Whatever happened to Bill Heavy? Anybody?

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from jes wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Can't figure why you don't have any centerfires! Local laws? I don't believe it. And just to show it....just what is a shotgun but a centerfire? As the old man says: just give me whatever is available...... (not even any handguns?) NOT!

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from Visitor wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

“The best time to buy is when blood is running in the streets.”-Baron Nathan Mayer de Rothschild

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from Dr. Ralph wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I'm thinking the 12 gauge is perfect just need a new platform. How about one using Kalishnakov technology buit by the Russians? The magazine looks a little small but I'm sure they come in all sizes and the gun is black... punch the name.

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from James wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Alexander Arms has their .50 cal. Beowulf AR-15. It comes with a flat top receiver so you can mount any optics including night vision. I was able to use standard 30 round mil spec mags but haven't tried the 90 round drum yet.The recoil is in fact equal to a 12 ga. or you can get their muzzle brake and even add a Limbsaver butt pad. Happy hunting.

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from Clay Cooper wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Clays historical thought of the day,“The evils of tyranny are rarely seen but by him who resists it.”-John Hay, 1872

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from Tom in NNJ wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I'm pretty sure that vampires are easier to fight off than zombies.Causing massive tissue damage is easier to accomplish at night than trying to successfully "seperate the brain from the head".

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from Clay Cooepr wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Got on line the other day to try to locate a source for LAR 45 Win Magnum and found out their out of production. DARN!

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from Jon in AZ wrote 5 years 29 weeks ago

The Remington 870 is a good start, you just need to add an extended mag tube and a bayonet lug just incase it comes down to arms reach.

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from Dr. Ralph wrote 5 years 32 weeks ago

Grow a pair Charles, it's idiots like you who back down from our constitutional rights that give the left the edge. I'm not ashamed nor afraid to express my opinions or exercise my freedoms...

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from Bella wrote 5 years 32 weeks ago

As if I spent those years in the kendo/ iaido dojo to hunt the Undead with a gun. My damascus bladed shinken sword will do just fine versus zombies or vampires. I do have a Mossberg 500 and my trusty 1911 in case the party gets too hearty. I'd likely go for Brenneke slugs in the shotgun, hadn't really thought too much about loads for the 1911.

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from Joe Crawford wrote 5 years 33 weeks ago

Silly folks, Remington's been making Silvertips for years, and everybody knows it takes a silver bullet to dispatch a vampire. I like 'em in .308, myself.

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from Bob In Tampa wrote 5 years 33 weeks ago

Goodness Gracious, Charles! Lighten up!

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from Bob In Tampa wrote 5 years 33 weeks ago

Goodness Gracious, Charles! Lighten up!

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from charles slusser wrote 5 years 33 weeks ago

hard to belive that all these commentators have nothing better to do than hang all this crap in the face of those who would look for any fuel for the fight to ban all guns.. all the bull---t about how and when too shoot everything and with massive collteral tissue damage ,and here we are agian CAN'T FIX STUPID

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from Brian T wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Thanks Matt. What a bummer, I have to pull all that silver out of my precious handloads. Listeria-laden lunch meat might be slow but it appears to work. With the recall there's lots of variety available.Even with Barnes, does it still take "two in the body and one in the head to guarantee they're really dead?"

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from Philip Brown wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Regarding the original proposition, which was to use an 870 pump, I seem to remember ads for aftermarket, high-cap magazine adaptors for shotguns which would solve that problem. Add in the variety of specialist ammo and the 870 still makes a lot of sense - if you believe in vampires.Come to think of it if you look at the Democrat candidates it is a lot easier to believe.

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from Ricardo Rodríguez wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I would go for a lighter round, like 9mm, but in hollowpoints, and lots of ammo. Where is the fun if you kill them with just one shot? An uzi or MP5 would do it. And to be more effective, the bullets can be sprayed with a solution of holly water and vegetables desinfectant, wich cointains coloidal silver (works like a charm and you don´t go broke making silver bullets). A good backup could be the .45/.410 Taurus revolver in case the vampires try to take off.

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from Chester Q. Bigfoot wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Matt,Jackson,-Jeez guys,what we ever do to you? By the way,I shoot back.

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from duff wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

The right bait pile plus claymores...then any number of the excellent rifle or smoothbore choices mentioned above.Unique post Phil.Thanks.

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from james ti wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

we could lock all the vampires in the pepsi center in denver and toss in all the liberal politicians and listen to them scream "Man i wish i had a gun!!!" now would be a great time with the donkey gig going on!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from forensiccns wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Gentlemen we need to think this out. Why does this have to be close in shooting? Why can't it be like sniping groundhogs.Yes we stake out a couple of PETA volunteers but at a thousand yard range. With a 50 caliber single shot sniper rifle and a night scope you should be able to set there and pick them off like apples on a tree. Everybody knows that vampires are not the sharpest blade in the drawer so they will continue to mill around the volunteers while their numbers are being decimated! You could sit there all night!

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from Scott wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

"AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherf****r in the room, accept no substitutes."--Ordell Robbie from "Jackie Brown"

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from Richard wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Everyone keeps talking about these big-bore guns to take these beasts down, how about 'light' loads?I know, that was lame...

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from Zermoid wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I dunno guys, I'd go for the cheaper option, the AK I already have and lots of Russian Hollow Point ammo which can be picked up cheaply at any decent gun store by the case, add some 30 rd or bigger mags to hold said ammo and rip those vampires apart for pennies.If you can't hit 30 vampires with 1000 rounds of ammo you deserve whatever you get!

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from tay wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

AR-14 in .450 bushmaster or .50 beowulf. I've always been fascinated by these midrange thumpers but never thought they had a truly practical use. Glad to know I have a justification for buying one now.

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from Jackson Landers wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

To Matt:Funny you should ask. I wrote up a whole technical article about choosing the right rifle and cartridge for Sasquatch just a few months ago. Here it is:http://rule-303.blogspot.com/2008/07/hunting-sasquatch-right-rifle-for-job.html

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from Jackson Landers wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

If money wasn't a big issue, I'd say an M1 Garand. Barring that, an AR-10. I think you want to stick with a chambering that is going to be available at any store that sells ammo in order to facilitate emergency supplies. 30-06 or .308 are the way to go. With softpoints or other hunting bullets, you're getting massive tissue damage within any practical range.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Carney wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Vampires? Simple. Attack with a flood light and defend with a light saber.Werewolves? Doesn't matter what you shoot them with as long as it's a "silver edition"...

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from james ti wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

i cannot believe you do not have one centerfire rifle in your gun cabinet!dave? oh, where are you david? you see david can't be with us today because since obama chose biden the poor, hard luck, vote for me, story as his running mate(and whatever else they will do in the wee hours of the morning) david had to put obama's brother, hamid back in that hunting pack and transport him to canada so he can try to get elected there.not one centerfire?!if PETA hears you guys talking about killing the poor werewolves, sasquach, bats, liberals and femenists we are going to be attacked by their deadly cartoons that they have become so adept at using. you are putting us all in danger and we may have to go underground just to survive! i just heard something intecepted from nancy pelosi: the revolution begins at 4: 35pm! entertainment is at 7!

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from Blue Ox wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Hell, this is almost as good as the 'Hunting T-Rex' blog a while back.

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from Mark-1 wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

From my kids who collect and appreciate the zombie/vampire B-movie art form,"Ya gotta shoot "em in the head, Dad, shoot "em in the head."BTW don't eat pizza when viewing these flicks.

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from Cliff B wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Winchester ammo. has recently come out with the 'Van Helsing' .450 silver tip. Big seller in Eastern Europe,for a very specific market niche.

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from Michael wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Dave,Seriously, you shouldn't start drinking before you brainstorm for ideas for this blog.Just in case, you don't have any recipes for loading garlic in a 12 ga. 3 1/2" hull, do you?

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from FLBobcat wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

First time response.You guys are great!

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from lastearlofshaw wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I thought a "coven" was a multiple of feminists...

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from John from Louisiana wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Clay, you can buy the brass for the .45 Win Mag, check out this source for brass: http://catalog.ammodepot.com/itemlist.php?classid=73qb0hqeDies and bullets are also available.Phil: it's "make do" not "make due".Thanks,John

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from eyeball wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

It would seem to me that X bullets would be best in any caliber. They turn into a cross as soon as they hit meat.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jack Ryan wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

That 870 is just about perfect. A smooth slug barrel would be a little better but only a semi auto like an 1100 or 1187 would be better.The best thing you could do is switch to #4 buck for vampires. They are actually rather frail but it it is a concern then 00 buck is plenty. Then you could probably even kill them two deep.Even though they come in large covens they rarely attack in groups of more than 3-4. Kind of like bad guys in the movie, even though there is a dozen standing around they allow you to pick them off one or two at a time and the Remington shot guns allow for this as you can reload with out disabling or emptying the weapon.

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from matt wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Brian, concerning your silver bullets, contrary to popular belief they possess no great advantage for werewolves. Trophy bonded bear claws are the way to go here. Of course, its really a moot point as these critters are under ESA protection. I've heard rumors they may soon be delisted in the West, though. Too many ranchers turning out with mutilated calves, sheep, ranch hands, etc. Going back to silver bullets, I've been told they are appropriate rounds for taking Loch Ness Monsters (Yes, there are more than one of them). Couldn't tell you from experience as I've been unable to draw a tag yet.P.S. While we are on the general topic, does anyone have suggestions for Sasquatch? I've tried asking Rick Dyer and Matt Whitton but they haven't returned my emails :)

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from Gritz wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I could not resist. I believe that the Marlin 444 was born for this very application. The recoil might make it tiring to fire more than 20 rounds in one sitting but at least with Hornady leveRevolution rounds you won't have to worry about using more than a round or two per vamp. When choosing my go to rifle I almost went with this but went with a rem 700 in 30 06 instead. I wasn't worried about getting rushed by quarry though and if I was to be put on by a bunch of googly-eyed vamps I would have surely went with the lever action. I used to have a model 94 and I like the idea of reloading shells without having to open the action or count rounds. All you do, in between action, is pump more shells into the tube until you can't get anymore in. I would, of course, have my 357 on my side in case I needed more back up.

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from Thomas wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

My weapon of choice for Vampire hunting would be a Auto Assault 12 automatic shotgun or AA12 loaded with 00 Buck and a 100 round drum.Any shotgun that can fire 6 rounds a second has my vote.Tom the Troll

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from Thomas wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Matt,you are forgetting about the blood banks. Alot of blood banks hold mobiles at factories at night. They come in and hold a night time blood draw for the factory worker that work 3rd shift and are not there during the day time when they are normally there. Usually they collect the blood and a little old man will come and pick up the pints of blood every 2 hours. He is a prime target because he is usually carrying 10 to 20 fresh, hot, pints of blood in an igloo cooler.Tom the Troll

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from Thomas wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Clay,The LAR .45 may be out of Production but anything that shoots the .45 Super is not. And if you don't want that try a .50 GI. I have my eye on a Springfield 1911 V16. I know, I know it is a ported barrel but I think that you can find non ported and compensated models. I suppose if you want the interchangeability that the LAR 45 had you would have to go to the Desert Eagle. I have wanted a LAR 45 myself the last last 16 years.Tom the Troll

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from Brian T wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Thanks, Matt, for the hunting guide. WhatamIgonnado with the stockpile of silver bullets?

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from Clayton wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Saiga 12 with a whole lot of magazines, topped with a decent Aimpoint. Also be sure to have a 1911 with more magazines.

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from Dr. Ralph wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Matt, could you tell us your last name and address so I can get this restraining order filled out ASAP? Seriously nice post...

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from johnl wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Matt,Bravo!!!!Excellent insight from someone with obvious experience!Thanks for shedding some light.(Sorry, couldn't resist)

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from matt wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Allow me to share my two cents worth, given my extensive experience in the matter. The first rule one must consider in hunting the Blood-Sucking Undead, hereafter to be referred to simply as the BSU. BSU hunting is essentially a combination of big-game and wing-shooting. This is due to the BSU's ability to morph from humanoid into Chiroptera (that would be bat, for those who didn't know) form to escape dangerous situations. The BSU hunter is thus left with two choices. The first is to carry a centerfire rifle as the main weapon with a shotgun as a backup. Unfortunately, this weighs the hunter down with extra weight… never a good situation should your first shot miss and the hunted becomes the hunter. Logically, a rifle-shotgun combination is recommended. The Remington model SPR94 is a reliable choice though feel free to contact other manufacturers to see what models are available. I would recommend yours in 12 gauge/.223 Remington. As for shotgun loads, BSUs are deceptively fast targets to plan accordingly. More care must be taken when deciding on rifle loads. Due to the very soft nature of the BSU’s unliving flesh, solids loads are a poor choice. Expanding soft points which will maximize tissue damage should be used. Illuminated sights should be used, given that BSU hunting only occurs in twilight.A few more points to consider. Firstly, invest in a good cover scent. You must remember that your quarry will be stalking you as well to in order to sooth its unholy lust for human blood. While cover scents based on garlic are effective in the extreme, they will work TOO well and result in a lack of shooting opportunities. I personally use Drac N Holy Water-based BSU field scent. Holy water acts as a very effective short range BSU deterrent. The scent does not travel far, thus giving you plenty of shooting opportunity without risk of neck puncture. One of the raging debates in BSU hunting involves the sportingness of BSU baiting, that is hunting the demonic fliers over staked out quarry. My own opinion is that the afore-mentioned speed and intelligence of the BSU makes them excellent sport in any conditions so improving your odds with a little bait is fine. This is particularly true if you are introducing your children to the sport… always something that should be done at an early age to prepare them for the coming Vampire Apocalypse. Whatever you do, do not attempt to cut corners by using beef blood purchased from a butcher. While cheap, the BSU can tell the difference miles away. This will do nothing more than spook your quarry. Human blood, while not available commercially, if your only option. So much the better if offered in the form of a living person as the thrashing, crying, and screams for mercy only act to add to the lure. Your sacrifice can be attained from any number of sources. PETA rallies are always an excellent place to start. So to are meetings formed by members of the gun-control community. Any future Million Mom Marches would therefore be excellent opportunities to stock up to BSU bait. Once the bait is in place, don’t shoot the first dark, hissing thing that comes to it. Allow a number to congregate (as mentioned before, the tend to travel in covens and sample the victim. Once the BSUs have gotten a taste for blood, they can be picked off fairly easily with little concerning for spooking them.

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from Lone Star 45 wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Call a bunch of liberal and tell them you’re having a party and bring all their friends. All of them will feel at home!

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from Mike Diehl wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Hey Phil -As you are a shotgun fellow I'll recommend two rounds, but use your most disposable shotgun. Load a combination of "Frag 12" 12 ga. explosive grenades and alternate with 12 ga. "dragons's breath" (a zirconium pyro round -- think "12 ga. flamethrower" and you have the idea).

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from jes wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Whatever happened to Bill Heavy? Anybody?

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from jes wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Can't figure why you don't have any centerfires! Local laws? I don't believe it. And just to show it....just what is a shotgun but a centerfire? As the old man says: just give me whatever is available...... (not even any handguns?) NOT!

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from Visitor wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

“The best time to buy is when blood is running in the streets.”-Baron Nathan Mayer de Rothschild

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from Dr. Ralph wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I'm thinking the 12 gauge is perfect just need a new platform. How about one using Kalishnakov technology buit by the Russians? The magazine looks a little small but I'm sure they come in all sizes and the gun is black... punch the name.

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from James wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Alexander Arms has their .50 cal. Beowulf AR-15. It comes with a flat top receiver so you can mount any optics including night vision. I was able to use standard 30 round mil spec mags but haven't tried the 90 round drum yet.The recoil is in fact equal to a 12 ga. or you can get their muzzle brake and even add a Limbsaver butt pad. Happy hunting.

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from Clay Cooper wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Clays historical thought of the day,“The evils of tyranny are rarely seen but by him who resists it.”-John Hay, 1872

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from Tom in NNJ wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

I'm pretty sure that vampires are easier to fight off than zombies.Causing massive tissue damage is easier to accomplish at night than trying to successfully "seperate the brain from the head".

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from Clay Cooepr wrote 5 years 34 weeks ago

Got on line the other day to try to locate a source for LAR 45 Win Magnum and found out their out of production. DARN!

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