After a 10-year $70 MILLION attempt to create bigger brook trout by crossbreeding squaretails with hormonally enhanced brood-stock suckers, Vermont wildlife biologists have abandoned their project. A decade of high-tech spawn-splicing has yielded nothing but a tepid tankful of 10 hybrid horrors: gaudy, bug-eyed, snorkel-mouthed fish that can hit a dry fly only by swimming on their backs!
A fisheries fiasco, yes, but GOOD NEWS for you! Field & Stream has acquired the entire crop of finned freaks, tattooed the numbers 1 through 10 on their sides, and released one into each of America's best trout streams! Catch one of these monogrammed miseries AND WIN! Yes sir, Field & Stream will send you on a SIX-WEEK ALL-EXPENSE-PAID TRIP to the Daceville, Vermont, fish hatchery where these lusciously lipped lunkers were born, AND we'll top that off with a GIFT CERTIFICATE WORTH $10,000 at Woodchuck World Factory Shoe Outlet! As with similar Field & Stream contests, some RULES and RESTRICTIONS apply:
- Have taken the prize fish while double-hauling a size 14 Deer-Hair Niblet 80 feet into a 35-mile-per-hour headwind.
- Be able to tie a blood knot in 7X tippet with one hand.
- Have an annual fishing budget equaling no less than 37.5 percent of his or her mortgage.
- Never have uttered the phrases "Whata hawg!" or "OO-O-O-O-E-E-E, son!" within 20 miles of any body of fresh water.
- Not have scrimped on taxidermy bills by photocopying a trophy.
- Be incapable of naming any current wrestling star.
- Pass a standard Krebs Trouter Vision Test by correctly determining, at 40 paces, the number of size 28 tricos contained in a faceted lead-crystal shot glass.
- Not have a history of social contact with any person who trout fishes with garden hackle, owns Rottweilers, or views abandoned school buses as potential housing.
The Field & Stream Catch Me Contest is not open to any past or present Field & Stream staff member, as well as persons either affiliated or unaffiliated with the Woodchuck World Factory Shoe Outlet or the Scrutt's Miniature Golf and Income Tax Service of Daceville, Vermont. As for members of the Vermont State Fish Hatchery-fuhgeddaboutit!
Contest opens AND closes 5/1/02.