Bill Heavey: Heidi Klum Loves Your Forkhorn

A born super model , according to Lauren Hutton (who, if you’re old enough to remember, could do some awfully nice things to a swimsuit), has a small head, a perfectly symmetrical face, superior bone structure, and a certain kind of proportioned body. “They are very rare creatures,” Hutton says, “maybe one in ten thousand.” A super buck, one with an abnormally large hunk of calcified deciduous tissue atop its head, is probably even more rare.

We all dream of one or the other (or, in some cases, both). But when you start to take the dream too seriously, things head south. And pretty soon you’ve got millions of women who feel bad about themselves because they don’t look like a Victoria’s Secret girl, and millions of hunters who feel like they don’t measure up because they haven’t killed a 200-inch buck.

Let’s stop the madness. There are places where that deer may be a honker, and there are places where a 2-year-old six-pointer is as good as it’s going to get.

If you got a deer this year, congratulations. You succeeded. And as long as your wife or girl friend doesn’t look like David E. Petzal in a diamond-studded thong, she’s probably a keeper, too.