As an Oklahoman, I’ve had to deal with snickering comments about the backwards culture of my home state, as has anyone hailing from those states deemed “southern” by the rest of the nation (Example of an Oklahoma pick-up line? “Hey baby, nice tooth.”) You get the point.

Regardless of cultural reality or geographic proximity, we all live in Yoknapatawpha County, we paddle down the Cahulawassee, and we drive the General Lee.

At the same time all us semi-literate “southern” hayseeds keep reading and hearing about how sophisticated and worldly the Rocky Mountain states are. Celebrities. Sundance. Aspen. Fresh powder. Flyfishing.

Well, we may not have all that stuff but at least we have enough class to keep the ungulates out of our bars

From the story:
EAGLE COUNTY, Colo. — An elk that apparently tangled with a bar stool is now wearing the bar stool on its neck. Reports about the cow elk started coming into 7NEWS more than a week ago. Now residents in the area have taken photos of the elk wearing the bar stool. Wildlife officers are aware of the elk’s problem, but haven’t been able to get close enough to tranquilize the elk and remove the extra headgear.

But here’s the kicker…”(wildlife manager Craig) Wescoatt said residents believe the elk picked up the stool during a visit to the Brush Creek Saloon or the Dusty Boot Saloon.

Now I don’t know what the single male residents of Colorado do to pass the time during those long, cold winters. I won’t deny that I’ve worn the beer goggles a time or two myself, but if this is what date night looks like in the Rocky Mountains I think I’ll just stick to my catfish, my doublewide, and my girlfriends who do their grazing at the All-U-Can-Eat bar down at the casino.