“Invest” in Fly Stuff

Like many of you, I’ve had a good portion of my meager savings vaporized in recent weeks… and I just … Continued

Like many of you, I’ve had a good portion of my meager savings vaporized in recent weeks… and I just want to shout out a “thanks and way to go” to Wall Street and the government. Greedy morons. I’d also like to encourage those cable news folks to amp up the fear mongering even more… if possible… you’re also doing a great job (with the two stories you cover on any given day).

But alas friends, I see a silver lining in all this. If, on the off chance I find myself a few bucks ahead, I am “investing” it in fly stuff. Have you ever tried this logic?

Hey honey, you know that 300 bucks I got from Artie for the Total Gym I never used? I’m going to invest it in a pair of waders. How is that an investment? Ah… new waders=dry feet and legs, and as it is the cold and flu season now, I think I diminish the probability of getting sick by at least one severe cold a year, and since the deductible on our insurance is $500 and the doctor charges at least that for walking through his door… I’m looking at a net savings of $200, or roughly a 40-percent return on this investment! Where else can you get that?

The $300 I spend on a new fly vise and tying materials, might actually be a break-even in terms of the cost of flies I no longer buy (because I can only tie three patterns myself), however, substitute entertainment costs like movies, playing darts at the bar… okay add an expense line item for beer while tying… still over 18 months, I’m looking at a return of about 12 percent… not too shabby!

Then there’s always the “Happy Guy” investment: I need this $500 rod because it will make me a happy guy, and I’ll live longer, and besides, if we put this money in some sort of investment account, it will just vaporize with the rest of it. At least I get to play with the money this way! So that’s actually a smart investment!

Nah… my wife doesn’t buy any of those either.

Deeter