Okay, here’s our cell phone number. Try to get the kids in bed by 7. Make sure they brush their teeth. Oh, and if a 422-pound bear chases all of you into the house and tries to break down the sliding glass door, can you just go ahead and kill him with this 7mm Mag?

(Actually, my wife and I are looking for some good help. So if the unidentified sitter in this story happens to be reading this blog: You’re hired. We’ll pay your airfare and help you get settled in the area.)

Here’s the story.