Warning: the following post is an example of a sometimes misunderstood literary device called “_satire.” In truth I really dig fully automatic children’s toys and could have used one this morning to eliminate a pesky housefly that refused to surrender its position on my computer monitor…_

I am, and I have always been since the moment I picked up my first Daisy all those years ago, a proud and unrepentant Gun Nut. I am a Second Amendment absolutist and I’ve always believed there is no such thing as “reasonable” gun control.

But I’ve also always been one to follow my conscience, and my conscience tells me that as times change, so must my thinking. The time has come for me to say enough is enough. There is absolutely no good reason for a private citizen to own firearms like this.

Or this…

These are killing machines, pure and simple. They serve no legitimate sporting, recreational, hunting or self-defense purpose and they must be outlawed. K’nex may be portrayed as a “creative construction toy” but watch the videos again. Look at that firepower. How would you like to be a law enforcement officer facing one of those “toys?”

This is probably too little, too late coming on the eve of the election, but I urge you to contact representatives from both the McCain and Obama camps and ask where the candidates stand on this issue. I know I am, and I’m voting for whichever candidate can look me in the eye and say in a strong, unwavering voice “When I am elected president I will ban fully automatic machine guns assembled from plastic children’s toys.”

I know this is a controversial stand, and the resulting furor may very well mean the end of my short blogging career on the F&S website (lucky for me the online editor is on his honeymoon and I probably won’t be canned for at least a week…) but sometimes a man has to stand up for what he thinks is right and consequences be damned.