I’ve had this fundamental and long-held belief that within every human being – however dim, petty or narrow-minded they may be – lies at least one kernel of original thought. A thought that – if expressed correctly – would add something unique and positive to the great work of art, history and culture that is our collective human experience.

Coming from a jaded, curmudgeonly bastard like myself it’s an unusually cheerful and optimistic thought and I have no idea where I picked it up, probably some public toilet or from not washing my hands thoroughly enough. But perusing the outdoors blogosphere these past few days is making me re-examine that belief.

Like it or not, the election now inhabits the world of the past tense, and I had planned on issuing a plea today for some modicum of civility, at least on my posts.

But of course that’s a waste of time. Humans were born to insult each other, so if you’re going to insult each other on my blog post today, then please, show a little class and do it in the immortal words of The Bard, using the handy-dandy junior Shakespeare insult kit…

Simply preface your insult with “Thou” and then choose one word from each column.

And if thou gleeking fat-kidneyed boar-pigs can’t insult nicely, then don’t insult at all…