Cheyenne, WY — According to the Wyoming State Police, Vice President Dick Cheney has been acting out every poliitician’ s dream by machine-gunning prominent members of the media. Not the actual people, but life-sized photos created for him by the U.S.A Army Signal Corps.

State troopers became aware of this when a local trucking service alerted them to a shipment of 12,500 rounds of .50 caliber ammunition destined for the Cheney ranch. After a brief investigation, the troopers learned that the Vice President had recently purchased a .50-caliber Browning M-2 machine gun and was riddling the photos in an unused hog wallow some miles from his ranch house.

According to State Police Sergeant Raymond Murtaugh, the Vice President is breaking no laws by following his unusual hobby. As for his ownership of a full-auto M-2,

“He’s the vice president. He says the laws don’t apply to him. That’s good enough for us.”

No further investigation is planned.