A bit of inside information… our man Tim Romano is just over one month away from his wedding date. His fiancee, Ellie, is an exceptionally wonderful gal. Clearly the best catch the young man will make in his life.

However, I think we owe Tim some advice, as a public service. What are the best nuggets of wisdom you can offer the soon-to-be-groom on preconditioning the Mrs. for life with a deranged trout junkie?

He needs answers for: The nights he rolls in three hours late because “the hatch was on” (the spouse usually gets this one, or they don’t, right away); the explanation why he just HAD to drop half his paycheck on waders, a reel, two lines, and three dozen flies (my favorite–let’s count this as my birthday!); Why his car smells like fish slime and boot mildew, in February); why his wardrobe will consist of one suit (the one he gets married in), seven pairs of jeans, seven pairs of underpants, seven pairs of socks, 40 t-shirts, and 357 baseball caps…

What other scenarios should he be working on?

Oh, and while you’re at it, you might help me explain to my wife of 19 years why I have to go to Bolivia for two weeks to catch dorado in the jungle on a river nobody has fly fished before. (The stakes just go up as the years elapse.)