February 25, 2009
Bourjaily: 5 Reasons to Love Eliza Dushku
By Phil Bourjaily
Eliza Dushku was on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and now stars in "Dollhouse" as some kind of brainwashed government assassin or something. I have no idea if the show is any good, but Ms. Dushku is okay. Here are five reasons for a Gun Nut to love her:
1. She has almost the same first name as Official Gun Nut Babe Elisha Cuthbert.
2. She has the physical qualities that appeal to the superficial male.
3. She not only hunts, she talked about hunting on Jimmy Kimmel Live and shot her bow on camera:
4. She killed a deer on Christmas day.
5. PETA hates her. Their January newsletter read: “Dushku attempted to defend herself by saying that it's OK for her to hunt because she eats those she kills. Eliza, please meet [serial killer and cannibal] Jeffrey Dahmer. He ate those he killed, too."
Therefore, if for any reason Elisha Cuthbert is unable to complete her reign as Official Gun Nut Babe (say, she’s spotted ordering tofurkey in a restaurant), I would nominate Eliza Dushku to take her place. The floor is open for discussion.