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Bourjaily: The Naked Truth About Concealed Carry

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August 13, 2009

Bourjaily: The Naked Truth About Concealed Carry

By Phil Bourjaily

A little while ago Dave provided an excellent and important public service post about how to spot concealed handgun. Unfortunately, it didn’t cover every concealed carry situation, as illustrated by the case of George Vera, arrested recently in Houston for selling bootlegged CDs. Vera was frisked on the scene by arresting officers, at the city jail and again at county, yet officers never found his hidden 9mm until he confessed to possessing a weapon to guards at shower time. How did he do it? Read on.

If that wasn’t enough to make you feel slightly ill, ask yourself: if the gun was unloaded,  where did he hide the bullets?

Comments (42)

Top Rated
All Comments
from Sick STi wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

The police officers who never found the gun during frisking should have asked him to pull up his man boobs.

LEOs:
What do you do in that situation? Can you just ask him to do that, or are there some sort of defamation rules against that?

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from micropterus wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

That's crazy. But in reality I can see how they would have missed it. Who would think about checking skin folds for contraband? Especially something the size of a pistol. That would have had to of been uncomfortable to carry I would think.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from s-kfry wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Phil,

Thanks for that image seared into my brain.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Kinda gives the term excess baggage a new meaning!

Maricopa County Sheriff’s Department, Phoenix Arizona has a X-ray of a prisoner with a single shot derringer up the wazzo and it had one hell of a spurred hammer!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from 2Poppa wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Heck,I don't think the gun was concealed,it was buried!

I wonder where Mr. Vera hid the 9mm bullets?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from SL wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Why does something like this surprise anyone here? I have seen plenty of people at shooting ranges and in the hunting fields that could hide a scoped rifle in the lard they carry around.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from davidpetzal wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

This is not in the best possible taste.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jason Norris wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Are they even sure that Mr. is not Ms. Vega

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

New meaning to "package check" ?

Sick...LMAO

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from cverstrate wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

That is disgusting. I'm picturing a Jobba the Hutt-esque shower scene.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from minigunner111 wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

get it out of my mind please!!??

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishawooa wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

One of our nurses found a TV remote control in the folds of skin of a 500 pound female patient. The patient's husband immediately remarked "We have been wondering why the television changed stations whenever she moved". True story.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from ranger2 wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

My goodness, why? I mean really, by the time the Michelin Man got to the pistol, he would not need it anymore- because he would have been had by the opponent, or his target would have escaped! It brings a whole new connotation to:

Slip me some skin man!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Carney wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

A pistol that deeply concealed -- let's just say the guy wouldn't be a "quick draw"!

Dave Petzal, RE your comment: "This is not in the best possible taste." What can I say? You're not exactly Charlie Tuna yourself!!!!!

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ralph the Rifleman wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

This is not as uncommon as many may think; Crook are quite inventive when it comes to hiding weapons..luckily no one was hurt over this oversight.
It happened here in MI a couple of years ago in which a pistol was not found, hidden in a man's rectum,he pulled the piece in the holding cell and shot to death the processing officer...family man with 2 kids.
Sad, very sad..

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from seadog wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

I'm thinking the bullets might show up during the bathroom break.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Walt Smith wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

I wonder if it fell out after he lifted up his man boob or did it have to be peeled off??

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from MaxPower wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

oh c'mon, fat guys have been hiding drugs there for years. You scare me at first DEP, I thought it was hidden in a much sicker, yet more contraband-friendly area.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from focusfront wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Good grief.

OK, he confessed to having the handgun. He's way ahead, though; nobody found the bazooka.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgaredneck wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

He was so fat....
....the next thing you're gonna tell us is that the concealed handgun in question was a T/C Encore with a custom Bullberry 15" 9mm barrel.....

Excuse me while I visit the vomitorium...................

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ingebrigtsen wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

That lady got a mustache, but dont tell her cos it got a gun.. and if it sneeses its gonna be loaded too:P

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from ingebrigtsen wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

dude looks like a lady.....

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from FloridaHunter1226 wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

This is one of those images that will be so very hard to get out of my mind and possibly have nightmares about. One word for a guy that hides a gun in his fat... PATHETIC.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

I remember a Dick Tracy newspaper cartoon plot involving an obese criminal who had snaps put in his flesh so he could hide a handgun in his dewlap. Reality trumps fiction as ever, Dick Tracy's perp was only hiding a .25, this guy had a 9mm! Jaaba the Hut indeed!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Good Lord! Nuf said.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Beekeeper wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Just where was he hiding the bootlegged CD's?

A new procedure for jailers, the inverted strip search! Reverse the effects of gravity and Viola!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

JUST HAVE HIM RAISE HIS ARMS MAYBE?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from nc30-06 wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Everyone has pretty well "covered" this one. It is a sick image.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ggmack wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

pretty inventive if you ask me but ranger2 is right by the time he got the pistol he would have been dead.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from SAND BAGGER wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

I'm surprised the metal detector didn't go off!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from SAND BAGGER wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

HA” I like to see him explain that to his dermatologist!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishawooa wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Along slightly different lines a friend once noticed his two year old son apparently choking on an unknown object. He rushed the child to the ER where the physician immediately examined the kid and ordered abdominal x-rays. The doctor, a hunter whom I have written about in previous comments, checked the results stating that the foreign object appeared to be a bullet with a wide meplat approximately 1/2 inch in diameter. The dad with wide eyes said that he has a .50 cal Thompson-Center muzzle loader. After suitable laxatives and a day or so later out passed the lead bullet. The dad told us that there was not sufficient gas pressure behind the bullet to crack the toilet although there was considerable associated concussion. Another true story.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Is there some sort of obese man competition, so many seem to be competing? Whatever could be the prize? More food?
Mighty mighty Jaaba!
The metal detector was likely too small for the man to fit through...Somebody needs to invent personal hovercraft for dudes like this one. I've known a few 400+ mesomorphs and they do tend to die young but if a man truely wants to top 12 or 15 hundred pounds and is willing to strive for his goal, he should be able to get the same support that other "sportsmen" get in his bid for fame. Then, when he passes, a fork truck will be summoned...
Anybody hear about the plastic surgeon who boasted about running his SUV on biodiesel made from liposuctioned human fat? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?...

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from nc30-06 wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Ol' Hillary must be in the women's competition for 1,200 lbs. and is well on her way.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from focusfront wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Must have been tough to pick him out of the lineup, though.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

I'm curious as to why some of you gave Bella minus 1's? She is simply satirically commenting on the sad state of obesity in America. Not one peep of disagreement?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from vtbluegrass wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Had a ex-girlfriend that could carry a longneck beer BETWEEN her boobs. Thinking of that will help me forget about this MAN hiding a gun under his.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

True VT blugrass I would rather think of that image myself. ;) ( o Y o )

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

WA wondering myself.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fisher Boy wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

that i must say i pretty clever, hid a gun under your fat

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Gunslinger wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

why did the electronic wond they use on me find the gun or bullets. I have 2 replacements hips and my guts held inside me with Marlex using metal staples. They made me go to a room to be stripped searched. But my boobs too small for such. Wher ther is a will there is a way, this proves such.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hunt_Hard wrote 4 years 34 weeks ago

wow... thats different, and so is the "guy".

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Derrit wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Jesus! Thats pretty bad hiding a pistol in your fat. Lets get to the real story though why was he carrying an unloaded gun?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from Jason Norris wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Are they even sure that Mr. is not Ms. Vega

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishawooa wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

One of our nurses found a TV remote control in the folds of skin of a 500 pound female patient. The patient's husband immediately remarked "We have been wondering why the television changed stations whenever she moved". True story.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from Carney wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

A pistol that deeply concealed -- let's just say the guy wouldn't be a "quick draw"!

Dave Petzal, RE your comment: "This is not in the best possible taste." What can I say? You're not exactly Charlie Tuna yourself!!!!!

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sick STi wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

The police officers who never found the gun during frisking should have asked him to pull up his man boobs.

LEOs:
What do you do in that situation? Can you just ask him to do that, or are there some sort of defamation rules against that?

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Kinda gives the term excess baggage a new meaning!

Maricopa County Sheriff’s Department, Phoenix Arizona has a X-ray of a prisoner with a single shot derringer up the wazzo and it had one hell of a spurred hammer!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ralph the Rifleman wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

This is not as uncommon as many may think; Crook are quite inventive when it comes to hiding weapons..luckily no one was hurt over this oversight.
It happened here in MI a couple of years ago in which a pistol was not found, hidden in a man's rectum,he pulled the piece in the holding cell and shot to death the processing officer...family man with 2 kids.
Sad, very sad..

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from MaxPower wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

oh c'mon, fat guys have been hiding drugs there for years. You scare me at first DEP, I thought it was hidden in a much sicker, yet more contraband-friendly area.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from ingebrigtsen wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

That lady got a mustache, but dont tell her cos it got a gun.. and if it sneeses its gonna be loaded too:P

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from ingebrigtsen wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

dude looks like a lady.....

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Beekeeper wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Just where was he hiding the bootlegged CD's?

A new procedure for jailers, the inverted strip search! Reverse the effects of gravity and Viola!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from vtbluegrass wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Had a ex-girlfriend that could carry a longneck beer BETWEEN her boobs. Thinking of that will help me forget about this MAN hiding a gun under his.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from micropterus wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

That's crazy. But in reality I can see how they would have missed it. Who would think about checking skin folds for contraband? Especially something the size of a pistol. That would have had to of been uncomfortable to carry I would think.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from s-kfry wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Phil,

Thanks for that image seared into my brain.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from 2Poppa wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Heck,I don't think the gun was concealed,it was buried!

I wonder where Mr. Vera hid the 9mm bullets?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from SL wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Why does something like this surprise anyone here? I have seen plenty of people at shooting ranges and in the hunting fields that could hide a scoped rifle in the lard they carry around.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from davidpetzal wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

This is not in the best possible taste.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

New meaning to "package check" ?

Sick...LMAO

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from cverstrate wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

That is disgusting. I'm picturing a Jobba the Hutt-esque shower scene.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from minigunner111 wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

get it out of my mind please!!??

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ranger2 wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

My goodness, why? I mean really, by the time the Michelin Man got to the pistol, he would not need it anymore- because he would have been had by the opponent, or his target would have escaped! It brings a whole new connotation to:

Slip me some skin man!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from seadog wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

I'm thinking the bullets might show up during the bathroom break.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Walt Smith wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

I wonder if it fell out after he lifted up his man boob or did it have to be peeled off??

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from focusfront wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Good grief.

OK, he confessed to having the handgun. He's way ahead, though; nobody found the bazooka.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from sgaredneck wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

He was so fat....
....the next thing you're gonna tell us is that the concealed handgun in question was a T/C Encore with a custom Bullberry 15" 9mm barrel.....

Excuse me while I visit the vomitorium...................

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from FloridaHunter1226 wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

This is one of those images that will be so very hard to get out of my mind and possibly have nightmares about. One word for a guy that hides a gun in his fat... PATHETIC.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from nc30-06 wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Everyone has pretty well "covered" this one. It is a sick image.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ggmack wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

pretty inventive if you ask me but ranger2 is right by the time he got the pistol he would have been dead.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from SAND BAGGER wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

I'm surprised the metal detector didn't go off!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from SAND BAGGER wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

HA” I like to see him explain that to his dermatologist!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishawooa wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Along slightly different lines a friend once noticed his two year old son apparently choking on an unknown object. He rushed the child to the ER where the physician immediately examined the kid and ordered abdominal x-rays. The doctor, a hunter whom I have written about in previous comments, checked the results stating that the foreign object appeared to be a bullet with a wide meplat approximately 1/2 inch in diameter. The dad with wide eyes said that he has a .50 cal Thompson-Center muzzle loader. After suitable laxatives and a day or so later out passed the lead bullet. The dad told us that there was not sufficient gas pressure behind the bullet to crack the toilet although there was considerable associated concussion. Another true story.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from nc30-06 wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Ol' Hillary must be in the women's competition for 1,200 lbs. and is well on her way.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

I remember a Dick Tracy newspaper cartoon plot involving an obese criminal who had snaps put in his flesh so he could hide a handgun in his dewlap. Reality trumps fiction as ever, Dick Tracy's perp was only hiding a .25, this guy had a 9mm! Jaaba the Hut indeed!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Good Lord! Nuf said.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

JUST HAVE HIM RAISE HIS ARMS MAYBE?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from focusfront wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Must have been tough to pick him out of the lineup, though.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

I'm curious as to why some of you gave Bella minus 1's? She is simply satirically commenting on the sad state of obesity in America. Not one peep of disagreement?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

True VT blugrass I would rather think of that image myself. ;) ( o Y o )

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

WA wondering myself.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fisher Boy wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

that i must say i pretty clever, hid a gun under your fat

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Gunslinger wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

why did the electronic wond they use on me find the gun or bullets. I have 2 replacements hips and my guts held inside me with Marlex using metal staples. They made me go to a room to be stripped searched. But my boobs too small for such. Wher ther is a will there is a way, this proves such.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hunt_Hard wrote 4 years 34 weeks ago

wow... thats different, and so is the "guy".

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Derrit wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Jesus! Thats pretty bad hiding a pistol in your fat. Lets get to the real story though why was he carrying an unloaded gun?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 35 weeks ago

Is there some sort of obese man competition, so many seem to be competing? Whatever could be the prize? More food?
Mighty mighty Jaaba!
The metal detector was likely too small for the man to fit through...Somebody needs to invent personal hovercraft for dudes like this one. I've known a few 400+ mesomorphs and they do tend to die young but if a man truely wants to top 12 or 15 hundred pounds and is willing to strive for his goal, he should be able to get the same support that other "sportsmen" get in his bid for fame. Then, when he passes, a fork truck will be summoned...
Anybody hear about the plastic surgeon who boasted about running his SUV on biodiesel made from liposuctioned human fat? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?...

-1 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment