By Chad Love

Lately, instead of fishing or mid-summer scouting I've been getting fat and stupid(er) while watching a game show called Wipeout, in which none-too-nimble contestants navigate their way through one of those Japanese game show-inspired obstacle courses. The appeal of said show is, of course, the dramatic and often hilarious falls the contestants inevitably take.
 

But lately the show's been getting a little stale for me. If you've seen one overweight housewife take a nosedive into a pool of mud, you've pretty much seen them all, right? But I've got an idea to inject a little spice into the show...
 
First, get all contestants drunk and then force them to run alongside the road in the photo above at rush hour. I figure there's about a six-inch window of safety between the snapping jaws of death and the front grill of a soccer mom's SUV. Best times advance to the next challenge and bonus points are given for the number of limbs you maintain.
 
And speaking of the next challenge, surviving contestants are then flown here where they are doused in estrous moose urine and given the keys to a Fiat 500. Fastest time through the five-kilometer course wins the fifty grand plus free reconstructive surgery.
 
Now that's something I could watch...

Comments (14)

from weve_25 wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

When did alligators learn how to read?

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from Sick STi wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Great Monday post!

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from Koldkut wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

I love it!

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from steve182 wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

I'm guessing most hikers and bikers do a u-turn here.

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from seadog wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

That's a great picture.

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from MidnightBanjo wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

The definition of laying in wait

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from Del in KS wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Those gaters would most likely run for the water if you got out of the car and walked toward them.

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from seadog wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Del, you're right without a doubt. They'd crash into the water as soon as you got close. But it sure is fun to imagine Peter Peta trying to tiptoe through the teeth.

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from Dannyjr321 wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Del you maybe right but how is going to test that

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from Del in KS wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Grew up in Fla. My dad was a gater hunter back in the 50's and early 60's. They are actually pretty shy most of the time.

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from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Hey, that’s no 18 wheeler blown tire cap lying on the side of the road!!

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from dwaynez wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Just go real fast and start jumping, Real High to avoid getting an unwelcome greeting from the resting gators.

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from ggmack wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

yeah that is about the time i would make a quick U-turn.

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from FloridaHunter1226 wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

It is true what Del is saying, most just high tail it to the water when approached... very rarely do they actually chase their prey on land. Standing near the water's edge or swimming in gator infested waters is what you have to watch out for.

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from weve_25 wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

When did alligators learn how to read?

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Sick STi wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Great Monday post!

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Koldkut wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

I love it!

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from steve182 wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

I'm guessing most hikers and bikers do a u-turn here.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from seadog wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

That's a great picture.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from MidnightBanjo wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

The definition of laying in wait

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Del in KS wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Those gaters would most likely run for the water if you got out of the car and walked toward them.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from seadog wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Del, you're right without a doubt. They'd crash into the water as soon as you got close. But it sure is fun to imagine Peter Peta trying to tiptoe through the teeth.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Dannyjr321 wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Del you maybe right but how is going to test that

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Del in KS wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Grew up in Fla. My dad was a gater hunter back in the 50's and early 60's. They are actually pretty shy most of the time.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Hey, that’s no 18 wheeler blown tire cap lying on the side of the road!!

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from dwaynez wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

Just go real fast and start jumping, Real High to avoid getting an unwelcome greeting from the resting gators.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from ggmack wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

yeah that is about the time i would make a quick U-turn.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from FloridaHunter1226 wrote 2 years 29 weeks ago

It is true what Del is saying, most just high tail it to the water when approached... very rarely do they actually chase their prey on land. Standing near the water's edge or swimming in gator infested waters is what you have to watch out for.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

Post a Comment

 

All submitted comments are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.