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Contest: Translate Duck Speak, Win Decoys (and More!)

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December 18, 2009

Contest: Translate Duck Speak, Win Decoys (and More!)

By David DiBenedetto

So you think you’re fluent in the language of duck? Well, my friends, here’s your chance to show us your stuff. We have a video (below) of World Champion caller Ryan Nolan letting loose with a comeback call. Your job is to watch the video then translate the call into English. Your answer can be long or short but make it creative—the more we laugh the better.

http://ak.c.ooyala.com/Y4YXMwYzpUTJY-kez2EgJf6fEaFa-nFj/3Gduepif0T1UGY8H4xMDoxOjAwMTt5zx

Here are the rules: Write your translation in the comments section below. You can enter as many times as you’d like. The contest will end on December 28th at midnight. I’ll announce the winner on December 30th. 

And here’s the best part. Thanks to the very good folks at Avery Outdoors the lucky winner will receive 12 Greenhead mallard decoys (a six pack of actives and a six pack of resters), a 12-pack rigging kit, and a 12-slot duck bag. We’re talking a value of $165. Solid stuff.

And don’t forget the gun dog photo contest is still ongoing. You still have a chance to win the Remington shotgun. Click here to learn more.

Good luck everyone. And have fun. 

Comments (96)

Top Rated
All Comments
from MarylandHunter wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Sounds like us hunting guys trying to pick up a girl with our impressive talking.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from swilmot1 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

would you come back im out of breath blowing on this dang ole piece of wood, and its cold out!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from MarylandHunter wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Mommy,Mommy, I'm hungry. I need food.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from senkoman12 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

this is my last option please come back

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from louismanka wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

*In the voice of a teenager* OMG, srlsy guys, FOOD!!! It is so GOOOOOOD. It is like the best food ever, you guys don't know what you are missing. LIKE OMG!!! Come here and eat this! Then we can talk about which Trueblood character is cutest!!! Mine is Edward!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from kelmitch wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come back,come back,come back,come back,come back,come back,COME BACK!My safety was on!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from MarylandHunter wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey boys and girls come back here, we can have a dinner party filled with 4 shot and duck. I'm inviting you guys right now just fly back over here. My dog will even you pick you up. I got the fireworks loaded right now.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from .88Mag wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Ummm...guys? You're headed north!" That's not a literal translation of course.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from bigjake wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"mmmmmmmm...you guys dont know what yer missing, come on back ya'll, theres lots to go around"

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from minigunner111 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

dangit doug get BACK HERE!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from minigunner111 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

HEN:you better get back here and take out this trash

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Pacific Hunter wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

What he is trying to say, "no no no, your green head must be shimmering in your eyes, that isn't a dude in the brush just a mishaped cattail bush, the eating is great and the ladies are easy too much action for me.

What he is really saying, "yellow, yellow, teal, corn and snails, corn and snails, migration, migration"

The duck hears most of it and responds, "Did he say corn and snails?, I need to swing around for a second look"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from appcock9 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

hey let me hollar at ya! hollar hollar hollar hollar hollar, let me hollar at ya! hollar hollar hollar hollar hollar

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from muskiemaster wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back. Wait don't leave I didn't mean to say that, please don't leave, please don't leave, what'd I say wrong? No No No wait. to late. quack

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from kelmitch wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha!Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha?Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha!Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha?Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha!Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha?Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Translates in duck.Come on back here the waters great!Dont worry about the clown with the white face he cant shoot and his dog cant swim!Just land between the rubber ducks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hjohn429 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Haha haha haha haha haha haha ......... look at that guy sitting in the blind. He doesn't even know how to use a duck call and he can't shoot or notin'. Them dumb humans have all them duck callin' contests and they can't even call no ducks. HA HA HA HA hhhmm?..........BOOOOOOOOOM! BOOOOOOOOOM! BOOOOOOOOOM! "Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!........

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Trapper94 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Music is playing" Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, listen, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Skeeb wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Hahahahahaha! Those rednecks are really trying to fart to call us in?!?!?!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from shadbuster wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack.....

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from WTXWildlifer wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

(Conversation between ducks who have just over-migrated their summer nesting grounds)
Yes I got us into this, and Bill I'm sorry but I think you'll lose that foot to frostbite. Ok I'll admit my leadership skills need some honing, were only a little off course. I know I should have stopped and asked for directions, but everything looked so familiar. Did I just see a polar bear floating by? I can get us out of this I promise! Guys wait, HEY GUYS, WAIT!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

According to my english to duck dictionary he said, "The donkey is on the toilet."

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from smpeach wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Cold Beer! Cold Beer! Who needs a cold beer?!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jerry k wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

waaaaaaait waaait waaait wait what are you guys doing? come baaack baaaack baaaack baack those ducks are real, i mean it, right down heeeereee heeeeree heeere here you know you want to "CLICK BOOM"......splash

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

You guys should know better than to challenge me to think outside the box. Here it is, the winner!:

"Hello, Mallards,
Well Hello, Mallards,
It'll be so nice to have you back where you belong
You're looking swell, Mallards,
We can tell, Mallards,
You're still flappin', you're still quackin'
You're still goin' strong.
We feel the tulies swayin'
For the duck caller's playin'
One of your old fav'rite songs from 'way back when, so
Mallards'll never go away again.
Mallards'll never go away again.
Mallards'll never go away agaaaain."

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from kelmitch wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Quack did I move too much,quack did the dog move,quack is there not enough camo on my face,quack are the guns too shiny,quack are my decoys in the wrong spot,quack is the blind okay,QUACK GET READY THEIR COMING BACK!.......

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Nick Jensen wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey, Hey, I said HEY!!! I'm talkin to YOU Boy!!! Don't you turn your back on ME!! You best be turnin round or you are gonna get a WHUPPIN when i catch up with you. Don't you act like you can't HEAR me, I know you can. (To the duck next to me) "damn kids never listen."

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Silewski11 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey guys where are you going!! Come back its not that cold to migrate south! you big babies i said come back! Where are you guys going!? You big babies!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cadillac_Jack wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey don't leave..!! There's a free buffet going on..! The drinks are on the house and the hot tub is bubbling..! We have Grey Pupon...! Lot's of ladies to keep you company. Come on, you know you wanna be here.. There's gonna be a show later...!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fruguy101 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Honey, please come back!! I didn't mean to say your tail looked big in those colors. I meant to say that those colors made your tail look big. Honestly, your tail is perfect!!"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from rippja wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

This afternoon only free corn and tail feathers!! Special double bubble if you come with leg Jewelry!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come on guys somebody take on for the team. After all of the money I've spent this year if I dont invite a few of you home to dinner my wife will look for a new drake. Pleeeeaaaaassssseee

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey guys look over to your right Those arn't real ducks and that guy wants to eat ya. Come over here with the rest of us, you'll be safe then.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hear ye hear ye hear ye Effective immediatly all hunting has ceased in this area....land at will you are safe.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Change you can believe in... Yes we can, yes we can, yes we can....Si Se puerdo (for the guys that spent time way down south)

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from gman3186 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

We got bogies to our left FLY FLY FLY adjusting altitude to 1000 feet we successfully evaded the enemy target once again NEXT TIME WE DIVE BOMB EM

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Rod Stewarts voice...If you want my body and ya think I'm sexy come on baby let me know...

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey guys join the party we are playin duck duck goose

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Billiy Mays infomercial voice...Are you bothered by a pesky piece of metal on your leg, does it rub you, weigh you down would you like to look like the rest of your buddies? For a limited time we will remove not one not two no not even three but six of those pesky leg bands free yes that right I said free of charge to the first 6 callers. This deal will not be repeated until next saturday and is not available in any stores so act now.... operators are standing by

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Duck Commanders my #$&,

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from deaddiver wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

land in this hole hes peeing again and left his gun by the tree, you'd think hed learn his lesson the first time we did it

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from deaddiver wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

free beer, free beer, free beer, free beer, cheap sex,cheap sex, free beer, free beer!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ejunk wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

whoa whoa whoa whoa! come on now, there's no call for that amiga! come on back here now, seriously. what was that? hey man, no, YOU look, that isn't cool and I said I was sorry! come on man, there is PLENTY of grass for all of us and I'm a big enough gal to share. that's right. hi hi hi hi good to you see you! just come on in...

yrs-
Evan!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Rakem wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come back here and let me shoot you in the face.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jeff Bowers wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Yoo hoo! Sailor!"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cgull wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Oh look at all these groceries, oh look at all these goodies, oh look at all these friendly duck buddies, come join us and enjoy all these good groceries, acorns every where you look and the water is sooooo nice and warm! Oh look at all these groceries, oh look at all these goodies, oh look at all these friendly duck buddies, come join us and enjoy all these good groceries, acorns every where you look and the water is sooooo nice and warm!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cgull wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Oh look at all these groceries, oh look at all these goodies, oh look at all these friendly duck buddies, come join us and enjoy all these good groceries, acorns every where you look and the water is sooooo nice and warm! Oh look at all these groceries, oh look at all these goodies, oh look at all these friendly duck buddies, come join us and enjoy all these good groceries, acorns every where you look and the water is sooooo nice and warm!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from huntingkid95 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come back, come back, please come back. I missed and I would like another shot becasue you will taste really good in my belly.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from huntingkid95 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come back, come back, come back, come back! My gun got caught on the blind.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from huntingkid95 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come back, come back, come back! I just couldn't control my bladder.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from secret66 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Where are my quackers! Where are my quackers! Quack-quack-quack-quackers!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fisher Boy wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

hey good-lookin' come on over, i don't bite

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fisher Boy wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

i'm sorry i didn't mean to let my gas go i didn't mean to come back

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from beanap wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

hey baby come on back ... i swear if you do ill never ever ever look at another hen again!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from spoonerlab wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

hey sexy.. wanna come home for dinner?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from mnobles23 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

HEY YOU! Yeah you, right there. Come here! Hmmmmmm, must be Spanish speaking ducks.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from mnobles23 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

And when I find the six feathered duck I will say to him, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Quackwacker wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

That was a democratic duck call this is translated like this..............." Hey yall come over here and look at all the free corn and duck weed, want cost you a thing......except your life!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from idduckhntr wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Why dont you come swim with mamma I have food and its safe.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hunter6 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey boy's , Hey boy's come on back . Hello , little susie hear can you hear me. Please come back the girl's and I want to you to come back.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from craigkindlesmith wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey! Come back over here! You guys are in Oklahoma and we don't get to duck hunt here very often! You guys are the only ducks I've seen in weeks! I spent $75 on this duck call, and my wife's already threatened to leave me because I've got $3000 worth of equipment down here on the ground. Please, for the sake of my marriage.... Come Baaaaaack!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jeff Bowers wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Flight leader, you ae cleared for landing on pond 270."

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from bjohnston wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

You are getting sleepy, sleepy, sleepy. Now, when I clap my hands you will land close to the cattails and the nice doggie will come tuck you in for the night!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from tlopez wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

We think it's a come back call, but really it's a territorial call: "Wad are you lookin' at, pal? Yeah I'm talkin' to you! Yeah you better keep flyin' if you know what's good for you! Yeah that's right keep flyin'!!"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from earlyriser81 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

A priest, a rabbi, and pollock walk into a bar....

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from lewdogg21 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Cue the Record player and Barry White...

My darling, I can't get enough of your love babe
Girl, I don't know, I don't know why
Can't get enough of your love babe
Oh, some things I can't get used to
No matter how I try
Just like the more you give, the more I want
And baby, that's no lie
Oh no, babe

Then with the last part he ends with a confidence booster akin to Right Said Fred "I'm too sexy"

I've found this yields positive results with 9/10 women in trailer park bars.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from greenhead13 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

ryan: im not gonna write you a love song cause you asked for it or you need one!

greenhead: i heard that song before! it must be ryan nolan! of course ill comback!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from mopedfredd wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey! What can I get for Ten Dollars?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from huskerguy wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Polo...I said polo, you guys are going the wrong way.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from huskerguy wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Guys come on, it wasn't me. I swear.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from mjh5161 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Duck-English translation:

What are you doing, I thought we were friends,
I cannot handle all of these hens.
The food is great and the water is fine,
me and my friends are here all the time.
You thought you saw movement; it was only a deer,
everything will be fine if you come back here.
Remember the days; all the good times,
we’d sit on the pond making up these same rhymes.
Trying to convince our friends not to flee,
So come on back here, drinks are on me.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from KASchaible wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

You forgot your wallet and if you don't come back I am taking all your money and buying a plane ticket south!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from dcrocks6 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

hey wait! you guys are going the wrong way. fly back over hear so i can give you directions

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from JOHN ANDERSON wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey,Iflew buy here last year.Its a sweet little spot.Theres already some ducks down there,we'll just pitch in for a look...OH $#@*!Iseen the sun on that guys face just in the nick of time.And with them AVERY dekes boys our goose was cooked!Pull up!Pull up.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from -Bob wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Since only drakes are legal in our state this time of year, the caller is obviously using a gender-specific presentation:

"Y-M-C-A! It's fun to stay at the YMCA, yeah…"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jwallen wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

In the middle of a speech on Gay Rights, President Obama was interrupted by a duck.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from harttraining wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

My love, quack...
There's only you in my life, quack quack...
The only thing that's right

My first love, (quack)
You're every breath that I take
You're every step I make, quack, quack...

And I....
(quackackackack)
I want to share
All my love with you
No one else will do...
(quackakakakak)
My endless quaaaack...

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from newbieduckblaster3 wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Hey boys, its me mrs hen,
i think you guys passed me by again,
come on back theres plenty of food,
hey maybe we can even start a brood?
Theres water to splash and bugs to eat,
alot of space here for more little duck feet.
No hunters here just me quackin,
callin you back for a little relaxin,
We can stay all day what do ya say,
when the sun sets we'll fly, fly away.
If you dont like the sound of that,
go on, get out of here, get away, SCAT!
I don't need drakes like you,
the ratio here is 1 to 2.
I know im safe here, splashin around,
you boys soon will be hearing one sound.
You didn't want to land in a safe spot,
so soon you'll be cooking in a hunters pot.
Goodbye to you, Though Nolan's a good call,
Have nice trip ill still be here next fall.. :) Quack.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from rweedin wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Google translate told me this:

"Ok, I admit I'm a hunter. But I do like to see you coming in, get close, and shoot. I'm lazy, I don't even clean my gun, at best I'll get off one shot before it stops cycling... and I never hit my first shot. Think about the risk reward, I might scare you, but it'll be worth the laugh to see me staring at my barrel like it's my guns fault. It's like Billy Madison when they light the bag of poop on the old man's doorstep, they could have got caught, but didn't, and the laugh was priceless. It's your call really, stay or go, I'm just trying to be honest."

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bigbass09 wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Hello ducks, I hope this calling finds you in good spirits this holiday. I need a really big favor from one of you; you see, I’ve lost my job due to the economy and can’t afford a Christmas turkey for my family so I need one of you ducks to step up and volunteer for the job this year. I also need you to fly by in close proximity for I only have one shell. For your generosity, I promise that when I find employment my family will return out here and do something really nice for your family, (what he’s thinking but not saying is, “Yea right, as soon as I can afford a full box of shells I’ll be back out here alright, to slaughter the rest of your family.”) Sincerely, Mr. Duck Hunter.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

All right, let's try this one: (apologies to Tom Jones)

"The old home pond looks the same as I float down to it in the rain,
and there to meet me is my Mama and Papa.
Down the creek I look and there swims Susie feathers of bronze and a bill like leather.
It's good to touch the green, green duckweed of home.
Yes, they'll all come to meet me, necks stretching, quacking sweetly.
It's good to touch the green, green duckweed of home.
The old nest is still standing tho' the eggshells inside are cracked and dry,
and there's that old oak tree we used to fly by.

Down the stream I swim with my own sweet Susie, feathers of bronze and bill like leather.
It's good to touch the green, green duckweed of home.
Yes, they'll all come to meet me, necks stretching, quacking sweetly.
It's good to touch the green, green duckweed of home.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from kelmitch wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

All sounds like FOWL LANGUAGE to me!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from vincent ebeier wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

HERE DUCKY HERE DUCKY HERE DUCKY DUCKY DUCKY COME DUCKY THE FLOCK IS BACK HERE HERE DUCKY

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from bjohnston wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

It's duck season! It's rabbit season! It's Elmer season!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from bjohnston wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Hey guys! Thats that hen from the frat party last saturday! Man, you should see what she can do with a POW.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Glad this contest is giving me something to do to keep my mind busy. We have had a terrible tragedy this holiday.

What do you think of this one? (apolgies to Nelson Eddy and the "Indian Love Song")

"When I'm calling quaaaaaack, quack, quack, quack ...
Will you answer quaaaaaack, quack, quack, quack ...
That means I offer my barley field to you, to be your own
If you refuse me I will be a greenhead waiting all alone
But if when you hear my feeding call ringing clear
And I hear your answering echo, so dear
Then I will know our union will come true
And you'll belong to the duck caller, and his black lab too."

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Okay, okay, I know, greenheads don't really quack. Allow me a little poetic license here.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Thank you all for these precious moments of relief from the terrible grief I've been dealing with:

This one's for Wesley. He'd have gotten a real kick out of it. (apologies to Tom Jones and "Deliliah")

"Did they see something in the light of the morning as they passed by the pond?
Did they see a flickering shadow of movement in the blind?
Wait, these are your flock!
As the deeks fail to decieve them, I watch and go out of my mind

My my my Mallards
Why do you fly fly Mallards
I know, the stupid coots were no good for me to eat
But I shot one anyway like a crazed camo miscreant.

After break of day when the last ducks flew away I was waiting
I crossed the pond to the other blind and the hunters opened the door
They stood there laughing
I flung the mudhen inside and they laughed no more.

My my my Mallards
Why did you fly fly fly Mallards
So before those other guys come to break down my door
Forgive me Ducks Unlimited I just couldn't take any more
Forgive me Ducks Unlimited I just couldn't take any more.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

This one's a bit better (apologies to Stephen Foster and "Beautiful Dreamer")

"Beautiful greenhead, fly near to me,
Tulies and duckweed are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the freeway, heard in the day,
Lull'd by the dawn’s light have all pass'd away!
Beautiful greenhead, prince of my song,
Listen while I woo thee with a calling melody;
Gone are the cares of the swamp's busy throng,
Beautiful greenhead, fly near to me!
Beautiful greenhead, fly near to me!
Beautiful greenhead, out on the fields speckles are cackling their wild lorelei;
Over the streamlet vapors are borne,
Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn.
Beautiful greenhead, land in my spot,
Even as the morn on the streamlet and sea;
Then will depart the clouds of No. 5 shot,
Beautiful greenhead, fly near to me!
Then beautiful greenhead, I will shoot thee!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

One more time. (apologies to Danny Boy and the Londonderry Aire)

"Oh Dusky Duck the caller’s pipe is calling
from glen to glen and down the pond side
The summer's gone and all the corn’s dying
'tis you 'tis you must come and I must bide
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
or when the river bottom's hushed and white with snow
'Tis there I’ll be in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Dusky Duck, Oh Dusky Duck I love to hunt you so.

And when ye come and all the flowers are dying
If I am late, as late I well may be
You'll come and find the place where my deeks are lying
And land and stay and wait a while for me

And I shall hear tho' soft you fly above me
And all my duck blind will warmer sweeter be
If you will bend your wings and cruise by to lee
Then I shall be at peace when I get a shot at thee.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

My apologies to all you southern boys and girls:

"O, I wish I was in the land of duck ponds
Old times there are not forgotten
Look this way! Look this way!
Look this way! Green Wing Teal!.

In a duck blind where I was born in
Early on one frosty mornin'
Look this way! Look this way!
Look this way! Green Wing Teal.

Chorus:
O, I hope they don’t know it’s open season
Today! Today!
Once I’m in my duck blind I’ll lose all reason
To let them squirts swim or fly through the bog
They won’t get away, They won’t get away,
They won’t get away, from me and my lab dog!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Apologies to Perry Como and "Some Enchanted Evening"

"Some enchanted pre-season morning
You may see some pintails,
you may see some whistlers
Across a crowded pond
And somehow you know,
You know even then
That somewhere you'll see them
Again and again.

Next opening morning
Someone may be shootin',
You may hear the ducks leavin'
Across a bird-filled sky
And hour after hour,
As strange as it seems
The sound of their departure
Will plague you in your dreams.

Who can explain it?
Who can tell you why?
Fools give you reasons,
Hunting guides never try.

Some enchanted morning
When you find the right sound,
When you hail the birds just right
Across the empty pond,
Then they fly to your side,
And you must make them your own
Or for the rest of hunting season you
May eat soup bones.

Once you have found your ducks,
Never let them fly by.
Once you have called them in,
Knock them from the sky.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from mjh5161 wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Drake: Hey can you just stick around, I kinda had a rough day.
Hen: Bye.
Drake: When are you gettin back.
Hen: Never.
Drake: Wait, wait, hold on a second babe.
Hen: Yeah.
Drake: You're not going for good are you honey.
Hen: You're going nowhere Daffy and you're taking me with you. All you ever talk about is becoming a pro hockey player but there’s a problem, you're not any good.
Drake: I am good. You know what, you're a lousy kindergarten teacher. I seen those finger paintings you bring home and they suck.
Drake: I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean that. I think they're excellent finger paintings. Please, don’t go.
Hen: I am not spending the rest of my life with a loser. I'm gone.
Drake: Good, then get the hell out of my life. Who needs you? Beat it. Leave me alone.
Drake: I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean that either. I just yell sometimes cuz I get scared, scared of being a nobody. Why don’t you just come back honey, ill give you the old smoochy smooch, kissy wissy. hmm. you know Daffy's gonna make everything okay. " I wanna kiss you all over, and over and again. I wanna kiss you all over, dun dun dun, till the night closes in."

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from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 15 weeks ago

Well, I finished this one up just after the winner was announced. I'm a sore loser so I'll make you suffer with one more!

(Apologies to Gene Kelley and "Singing in the Rain"

"I'm calling in the rain
Just quacking in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
The weather’s crappy again
I'm cursing all the hunters
As thick as the coots
The shells are in my gun
And I'm ready to shoot
So let the stormy clouds chase
Those other guys from the place
Come on with the rain
I've got snot on my face
But I’ll keep calling in vain
With a come-back refrain
Just quackin',
Quackin' in the rain

Freezin' in the rain
Kee-wak Kee-wak Kee-wak
Kee-wak kee-wak kee-wak
I'm soggy again!
I'm callin' and freezin' in the rain!

Why am I smiling
And why do I call?
Why in cold October
So late in the fall?
Why do I get up
Each morning and start
In my old beater pickup
With joy in my heart
Even after a huge pothole
Drowns my poor truck?
Because I am living
A life shooting ducks.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Briarpatch wrote 4 years 15 weeks ago

Hey Hey Hey land over here Hey Hey Hey Hey land over here Hey where ya going, Hey Hey Hey get your but down here
'the true translation

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from benellireaper wrote 4 years 15 weeks ago

Heyheyheyheyheyhey youyouyouyouyou guysguysguysguys Come on in fellas the waters fine and the buffet is free.open baropenbaropenbar!!!!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ScottyBee wrote 2 years 7 weeks ago

Hey guys! Hey guys! COME HERE! You WON'T BELIEVE THIS! Come look at what Donnie just did! If you guys know the boys from www.duckcommander.com tell them I said hey!

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from MarylandHunter wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Sounds like us hunting guys trying to pick up a girl with our impressive talking.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from MarylandHunter wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Mommy,Mommy, I'm hungry. I need food.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from kelmitch wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come back,come back,come back,come back,come back,come back,COME BACK!My safety was on!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from bigjake wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"mmmmmmmm...you guys dont know what yer missing, come on back ya'll, theres lots to go around"

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Trapper94 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Music is playing" Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, listen, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from mnobles23 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

And when I find the six feathered duck I will say to him, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jeff Bowers wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Flight leader, you ae cleared for landing on pond 270."

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from mjh5161 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Duck-English translation:

What are you doing, I thought we were friends,
I cannot handle all of these hens.
The food is great and the water is fine,
me and my friends are here all the time.
You thought you saw movement; it was only a deer,
everything will be fine if you come back here.
Remember the days; all the good times,
we’d sit on the pond making up these same rhymes.
Trying to convince our friends not to flee,
So come on back here, drinks are on me.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from newbieduckblaster3 wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Hey boys, its me mrs hen,
i think you guys passed me by again,
come on back theres plenty of food,
hey maybe we can even start a brood?
Theres water to splash and bugs to eat,
alot of space here for more little duck feet.
No hunters here just me quackin,
callin you back for a little relaxin,
We can stay all day what do ya say,
when the sun sets we'll fly, fly away.
If you dont like the sound of that,
go on, get out of here, get away, SCAT!
I don't need drakes like you,
the ratio here is 1 to 2.
I know im safe here, splashin around,
you boys soon will be hearing one sound.
You didn't want to land in a safe spot,
so soon you'll be cooking in a hunters pot.
Goodbye to you, Though Nolan's a good call,
Have nice trip ill still be here next fall.. :) Quack.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from swilmot1 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

would you come back im out of breath blowing on this dang ole piece of wood, and its cold out!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from MarylandHunter wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey boys and girls come back here, we can have a dinner party filled with 4 shot and duck. I'm inviting you guys right now just fly back over here. My dog will even you pick you up. I got the fireworks loaded right now.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from hjohn429 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Haha haha haha haha haha haha ......... look at that guy sitting in the blind. He doesn't even know how to use a duck call and he can't shoot or notin'. Them dumb humans have all them duck callin' contests and they can't even call no ducks. HA HA HA HA hhhmm?..........BOOOOOOOOOM! BOOOOOOOOOM! BOOOOOOOOOM! "Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!, Oh $H!T!........

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from shadbuster wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack.....

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

According to my english to duck dictionary he said, "The donkey is on the toilet."

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from jerry k wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

waaaaaaait waaait waaait wait what are you guys doing? come baaack baaaack baaaack baack those ducks are real, i mean it, right down heeeereee heeeeree heeere here you know you want to "CLICK BOOM"......splash

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

You guys should know better than to challenge me to think outside the box. Here it is, the winner!:

"Hello, Mallards,
Well Hello, Mallards,
It'll be so nice to have you back where you belong
You're looking swell, Mallards,
We can tell, Mallards,
You're still flappin', you're still quackin'
You're still goin' strong.
We feel the tulies swayin'
For the duck caller's playin'
One of your old fav'rite songs from 'way back when, so
Mallards'll never go away again.
Mallards'll never go away again.
Mallards'll never go away agaaaain."

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from kelmitch wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Quack did I move too much,quack did the dog move,quack is there not enough camo on my face,quack are the guns too shiny,quack are my decoys in the wrong spot,quack is the blind okay,QUACK GET READY THEIR COMING BACK!.......

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Nick Jensen wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey, Hey, I said HEY!!! I'm talkin to YOU Boy!!! Don't you turn your back on ME!! You best be turnin round or you are gonna get a WHUPPIN when i catch up with you. Don't you act like you can't HEAR me, I know you can. (To the duck next to me) "damn kids never listen."

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from gman3186 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

We got bogies to our left FLY FLY FLY adjusting altitude to 1000 feet we successfully evaded the enemy target once again NEXT TIME WE DIVE BOMB EM

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Rod Stewarts voice...If you want my body and ya think I'm sexy come on baby let me know...

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Rakem wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come back here and let me shoot you in the face.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cgull wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Oh look at all these groceries, oh look at all these goodies, oh look at all these friendly duck buddies, come join us and enjoy all these good groceries, acorns every where you look and the water is sooooo nice and warm! Oh look at all these groceries, oh look at all these goodies, oh look at all these friendly duck buddies, come join us and enjoy all these good groceries, acorns every where you look and the water is sooooo nice and warm!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from beanap wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

hey baby come on back ... i swear if you do ill never ever ever look at another hen again!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from hunter6 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey boy's , Hey boy's come on back . Hello , little susie hear can you hear me. Please come back the girl's and I want to you to come back.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from earlyriser81 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

A priest, a rabbi, and pollock walk into a bar....

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from huskerguy wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Guys come on, it wasn't me. I swear.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from rweedin wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Google translate told me this:

"Ok, I admit I'm a hunter. But I do like to see you coming in, get close, and shoot. I'm lazy, I don't even clean my gun, at best I'll get off one shot before it stops cycling... and I never hit my first shot. Think about the risk reward, I might scare you, but it'll be worth the laugh to see me staring at my barrel like it's my guns fault. It's like Billy Madison when they light the bag of poop on the old man's doorstep, they could have got caught, but didn't, and the laugh was priceless. It's your call really, stay or go, I'm just trying to be honest."

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from kelmitch wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

All sounds like FOWL LANGUAGE to me!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from mjh5161 wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Drake: Hey can you just stick around, I kinda had a rough day.
Hen: Bye.
Drake: When are you gettin back.
Hen: Never.
Drake: Wait, wait, hold on a second babe.
Hen: Yeah.
Drake: You're not going for good are you honey.
Hen: You're going nowhere Daffy and you're taking me with you. All you ever talk about is becoming a pro hockey player but there’s a problem, you're not any good.
Drake: I am good. You know what, you're a lousy kindergarten teacher. I seen those finger paintings you bring home and they suck.
Drake: I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean that. I think they're excellent finger paintings. Please, don’t go.
Hen: I am not spending the rest of my life with a loser. I'm gone.
Drake: Good, then get the hell out of my life. Who needs you? Beat it. Leave me alone.
Drake: I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean that either. I just yell sometimes cuz I get scared, scared of being a nobody. Why don’t you just come back honey, ill give you the old smoochy smooch, kissy wissy. hmm. you know Daffy's gonna make everything okay. " I wanna kiss you all over, and over and again. I wanna kiss you all over, dun dun dun, till the night closes in."

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from senkoman12 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

this is my last option please come back

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from louismanka wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

*In the voice of a teenager* OMG, srlsy guys, FOOD!!! It is so GOOOOOOD. It is like the best food ever, you guys don't know what you are missing. LIKE OMG!!! Come here and eat this! Then we can talk about which Trueblood character is cutest!!! Mine is Edward!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from .88Mag wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Ummm...guys? You're headed north!" That's not a literal translation of course.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from minigunner111 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

dangit doug get BACK HERE!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from minigunner111 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

HEN:you better get back here and take out this trash

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Pacific Hunter wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

What he is trying to say, "no no no, your green head must be shimmering in your eyes, that isn't a dude in the brush just a mishaped cattail bush, the eating is great and the ladies are easy too much action for me.

What he is really saying, "yellow, yellow, teal, corn and snails, corn and snails, migration, migration"

The duck hears most of it and responds, "Did he say corn and snails?, I need to swing around for a second look"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from appcock9 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

hey let me hollar at ya! hollar hollar hollar hollar hollar, let me hollar at ya! hollar hollar hollar hollar hollar

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from muskiemaster wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back. Wait don't leave I didn't mean to say that, please don't leave, please don't leave, what'd I say wrong? No No No wait. to late. quack

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from kelmitch wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha!Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha?Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha!Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha?Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha!Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha?Haaaa,hu,haaa,haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Translates in duck.Come on back here the waters great!Dont worry about the clown with the white face he cant shoot and his dog cant swim!Just land between the rubber ducks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Skeeb wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Hahahahahaha! Those rednecks are really trying to fart to call us in?!?!?!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from WTXWildlifer wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

(Conversation between ducks who have just over-migrated their summer nesting grounds)
Yes I got us into this, and Bill I'm sorry but I think you'll lose that foot to frostbite. Ok I'll admit my leadership skills need some honing, were only a little off course. I know I should have stopped and asked for directions, but everything looked so familiar. Did I just see a polar bear floating by? I can get us out of this I promise! Guys wait, HEY GUYS, WAIT!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from smpeach wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Cold Beer! Cold Beer! Who needs a cold beer?!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Silewski11 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey guys where are you going!! Come back its not that cold to migrate south! you big babies i said come back! Where are you guys going!? You big babies!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cadillac_Jack wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey don't leave..!! There's a free buffet going on..! The drinks are on the house and the hot tub is bubbling..! We have Grey Pupon...! Lot's of ladies to keep you company. Come on, you know you wanna be here.. There's gonna be a show later...!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fruguy101 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Honey, please come back!! I didn't mean to say your tail looked big in those colors. I meant to say that those colors made your tail look big. Honestly, your tail is perfect!!"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from rippja wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

This afternoon only free corn and tail feathers!! Special double bubble if you come with leg Jewelry!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come on guys somebody take on for the team. After all of the money I've spent this year if I dont invite a few of you home to dinner my wife will look for a new drake. Pleeeeaaaaassssseee

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey guys look over to your right Those arn't real ducks and that guy wants to eat ya. Come over here with the rest of us, you'll be safe then.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hear ye hear ye hear ye Effective immediatly all hunting has ceased in this area....land at will you are safe.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Change you can believe in... Yes we can, yes we can, yes we can....Si Se puerdo (for the guys that spent time way down south)

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey guys join the party we are playin duck duck goose

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Billiy Mays infomercial voice...Are you bothered by a pesky piece of metal on your leg, does it rub you, weigh you down would you like to look like the rest of your buddies? For a limited time we will remove not one not two no not even three but six of those pesky leg bands free yes that right I said free of charge to the first 6 callers. This deal will not be repeated until next saturday and is not available in any stores so act now.... operators are standing by

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Duck Commanders my #$&,

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from deaddiver wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

land in this hole hes peeing again and left his gun by the tree, you'd think hed learn his lesson the first time we did it

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from deaddiver wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

free beer, free beer, free beer, free beer, cheap sex,cheap sex, free beer, free beer!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ejunk wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

whoa whoa whoa whoa! come on now, there's no call for that amiga! come on back here now, seriously. what was that? hey man, no, YOU look, that isn't cool and I said I was sorry! come on man, there is PLENTY of grass for all of us and I'm a big enough gal to share. that's right. hi hi hi hi good to you see you! just come on in...

yrs-
Evan!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jeff Bowers wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

"Yoo hoo! Sailor!"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cgull wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Oh look at all these groceries, oh look at all these goodies, oh look at all these friendly duck buddies, come join us and enjoy all these good groceries, acorns every where you look and the water is sooooo nice and warm! Oh look at all these groceries, oh look at all these goodies, oh look at all these friendly duck buddies, come join us and enjoy all these good groceries, acorns every where you look and the water is sooooo nice and warm!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from huntingkid95 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come back, come back, please come back. I missed and I would like another shot becasue you will taste really good in my belly.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from huntingkid95 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come back, come back, come back, come back! My gun got caught on the blind.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from huntingkid95 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Come back, come back, come back! I just couldn't control my bladder.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from secret66 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Where are my quackers! Where are my quackers! Quack-quack-quack-quackers!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fisher Boy wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

hey good-lookin' come on over, i don't bite

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from spoonerlab wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

hey sexy.. wanna come home for dinner?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from mnobles23 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

HEY YOU! Yeah you, right there. Come here! Hmmmmmm, must be Spanish speaking ducks.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Quackwacker wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

That was a democratic duck call this is translated like this..............." Hey yall come over here and look at all the free corn and duck weed, want cost you a thing......except your life!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from idduckhntr wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Why dont you come swim with mamma I have food and its safe.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from craigkindlesmith wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey! Come back over here! You guys are in Oklahoma and we don't get to duck hunt here very often! You guys are the only ducks I've seen in weeks! I spent $75 on this duck call, and my wife's already threatened to leave me because I've got $3000 worth of equipment down here on the ground. Please, for the sake of my marriage.... Come Baaaaaack!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from bjohnston wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

You are getting sleepy, sleepy, sleepy. Now, when I clap my hands you will land close to the cattails and the nice doggie will come tuck you in for the night!

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from tlopez wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

We think it's a come back call, but really it's a territorial call: "Wad are you lookin' at, pal? Yeah I'm talkin' to you! Yeah you better keep flyin' if you know what's good for you! Yeah that's right keep flyin'!!"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from lewdogg21 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Cue the Record player and Barry White...

My darling, I can't get enough of your love babe
Girl, I don't know, I don't know why
Can't get enough of your love babe
Oh, some things I can't get used to
No matter how I try
Just like the more you give, the more I want
And baby, that's no lie
Oh no, babe

Then with the last part he ends with a confidence booster akin to Right Said Fred "I'm too sexy"

I've found this yields positive results with 9/10 women in trailer park bars.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from greenhead13 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

ryan: im not gonna write you a love song cause you asked for it or you need one!

greenhead: i heard that song before! it must be ryan nolan! of course ill comback!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from mopedfredd wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey! What can I get for Ten Dollars?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from huskerguy wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Polo...I said polo, you guys are going the wrong way.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from KASchaible wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

You forgot your wallet and if you don't come back I am taking all your money and buying a plane ticket south!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from dcrocks6 wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

hey wait! you guys are going the wrong way. fly back over hear so i can give you directions

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from JOHN ANDERSON wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

Hey,Iflew buy here last year.Its a sweet little spot.Theres already some ducks down there,we'll just pitch in for a look...OH $#@*!Iseen the sun on that guys face just in the nick of time.And with them AVERY dekes boys our goose was cooked!Pull up!Pull up.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from -Bob wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Since only drakes are legal in our state this time of year, the caller is obviously using a gender-specific presentation:

"Y-M-C-A! It's fun to stay at the YMCA, yeah…"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jwallen wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

In the middle of a speech on Gay Rights, President Obama was interrupted by a duck.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from harttraining wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

My love, quack...
There's only you in my life, quack quack...
The only thing that's right

My first love, (quack)
You're every breath that I take
You're every step I make, quack, quack...

And I....
(quackackackack)
I want to share
All my love with you
No one else will do...
(quackakakakak)
My endless quaaaack...

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bigbass09 wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Hello ducks, I hope this calling finds you in good spirits this holiday. I need a really big favor from one of you; you see, I’ve lost my job due to the economy and can’t afford a Christmas turkey for my family so I need one of you ducks to step up and volunteer for the job this year. I also need you to fly by in close proximity for I only have one shell. For your generosity, I promise that when I find employment my family will return out here and do something really nice for your family, (what he’s thinking but not saying is, “Yea right, as soon as I can afford a full box of shells I’ll be back out here alright, to slaughter the rest of your family.”) Sincerely, Mr. Duck Hunter.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

All right, let's try this one: (apologies to Tom Jones)

"The old home pond looks the same as I float down to it in the rain,
and there to meet me is my Mama and Papa.
Down the creek I look and there swims Susie feathers of bronze and a bill like leather.
It's good to touch the green, green duckweed of home.
Yes, they'll all come to meet me, necks stretching, quacking sweetly.
It's good to touch the green, green duckweed of home.
The old nest is still standing tho' the eggshells inside are cracked and dry,
and there's that old oak tree we used to fly by.

Down the stream I swim with my own sweet Susie, feathers of bronze and bill like leather.
It's good to touch the green, green duckweed of home.
Yes, they'll all come to meet me, necks stretching, quacking sweetly.
It's good to touch the green, green duckweed of home.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from vincent ebeier wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

HERE DUCKY HERE DUCKY HERE DUCKY DUCKY DUCKY COME DUCKY THE FLOCK IS BACK HERE HERE DUCKY

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from bjohnston wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

It's duck season! It's rabbit season! It's Elmer season!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from bjohnston wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Hey guys! Thats that hen from the frat party last saturday! Man, you should see what she can do with a POW.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Glad this contest is giving me something to do to keep my mind busy. We have had a terrible tragedy this holiday.

What do you think of this one? (apolgies to Nelson Eddy and the "Indian Love Song")

"When I'm calling quaaaaaack, quack, quack, quack ...
Will you answer quaaaaaack, quack, quack, quack ...
That means I offer my barley field to you, to be your own
If you refuse me I will be a greenhead waiting all alone
But if when you hear my feeding call ringing clear
And I hear your answering echo, so dear
Then I will know our union will come true
And you'll belong to the duck caller, and his black lab too."

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from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Okay, okay, I know, greenheads don't really quack. Allow me a little poetic license here.

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from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Thank you all for these precious moments of relief from the terrible grief I've been dealing with:

This one's for Wesley. He'd have gotten a real kick out of it. (apologies to Tom Jones and "Deliliah")

"Did they see something in the light of the morning as they passed by the pond?
Did they see a flickering shadow of movement in the blind?
Wait, these are your flock!
As the deeks fail to decieve them, I watch and go out of my mind

My my my Mallards
Why do you fly fly Mallards
I know, the stupid coots were no good for me to eat
But I shot one anyway like a crazed camo miscreant.

After break of day when the last ducks flew away I was waiting
I crossed the pond to the other blind and the hunters opened the door
They stood there laughing
I flung the mudhen inside and they laughed no more.

My my my Mallards
Why did you fly fly fly Mallards
So before those other guys come to break down my door
Forgive me Ducks Unlimited I just couldn't take any more
Forgive me Ducks Unlimited I just couldn't take any more.

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from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

This one's a bit better (apologies to Stephen Foster and "Beautiful Dreamer")

"Beautiful greenhead, fly near to me,
Tulies and duckweed are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the freeway, heard in the day,
Lull'd by the dawn’s light have all pass'd away!
Beautiful greenhead, prince of my song,
Listen while I woo thee with a calling melody;
Gone are the cares of the swamp's busy throng,
Beautiful greenhead, fly near to me!
Beautiful greenhead, fly near to me!
Beautiful greenhead, out on the fields speckles are cackling their wild lorelei;
Over the streamlet vapors are borne,
Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn.
Beautiful greenhead, land in my spot,
Even as the morn on the streamlet and sea;
Then will depart the clouds of No. 5 shot,
Beautiful greenhead, fly near to me!
Then beautiful greenhead, I will shoot thee!

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from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

One more time. (apologies to Danny Boy and the Londonderry Aire)

"Oh Dusky Duck the caller’s pipe is calling
from glen to glen and down the pond side
The summer's gone and all the corn’s dying
'tis you 'tis you must come and I must bide
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
or when the river bottom's hushed and white with snow
'Tis there I’ll be in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Dusky Duck, Oh Dusky Duck I love to hunt you so.

And when ye come and all the flowers are dying
If I am late, as late I well may be
You'll come and find the place where my deeks are lying
And land and stay and wait a while for me

And I shall hear tho' soft you fly above me
And all my duck blind will warmer sweeter be
If you will bend your wings and cruise by to lee
Then I shall be at peace when I get a shot at thee.

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from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

My apologies to all you southern boys and girls:

"O, I wish I was in the land of duck ponds
Old times there are not forgotten
Look this way! Look this way!
Look this way! Green Wing Teal!.

In a duck blind where I was born in
Early on one frosty mornin'
Look this way! Look this way!
Look this way! Green Wing Teal.

Chorus:
O, I hope they don’t know it’s open season
Today! Today!
Once I’m in my duck blind I’ll lose all reason
To let them squirts swim or fly through the bog
They won’t get away, They won’t get away,
They won’t get away, from me and my lab dog!

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from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Apologies to Perry Como and "Some Enchanted Evening"

"Some enchanted pre-season morning
You may see some pintails,
you may see some whistlers
Across a crowded pond
And somehow you know,
You know even then
That somewhere you'll see them
Again and again.

Next opening morning
Someone may be shootin',
You may hear the ducks leavin'
Across a bird-filled sky
And hour after hour,
As strange as it seems
The sound of their departure
Will plague you in your dreams.

Who can explain it?
Who can tell you why?
Fools give you reasons,
Hunting guides never try.

Some enchanted morning
When you find the right sound,
When you hail the birds just right
Across the empty pond,
Then they fly to your side,
And you must make them your own
Or for the rest of hunting season you
May eat soup bones.

Once you have found your ducks,
Never let them fly by.
Once you have called them in,
Knock them from the sky.

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from Ontario Honker ... wrote 4 years 15 weeks ago

Well, I finished this one up just after the winner was announced. I'm a sore loser so I'll make you suffer with one more!

(Apologies to Gene Kelley and "Singing in the Rain"

"I'm calling in the rain
Just quacking in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
The weather’s crappy again
I'm cursing all the hunters
As thick as the coots
The shells are in my gun
And I'm ready to shoot
So let the stormy clouds chase
Those other guys from the place
Come on with the rain
I've got snot on my face
But I’ll keep calling in vain
With a come-back refrain
Just quackin',
Quackin' in the rain

Freezin' in the rain
Kee-wak Kee-wak Kee-wak
Kee-wak kee-wak kee-wak
I'm soggy again!
I'm callin' and freezin' in the rain!

Why am I smiling
And why do I call?
Why in cold October
So late in the fall?
Why do I get up
Each morning and start
In my old beater pickup
With joy in my heart
Even after a huge pothole
Drowns my poor truck?
Because I am living
A life shooting ducks.

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from Briarpatch wrote 4 years 15 weeks ago

Hey Hey Hey land over here Hey Hey Hey Hey land over here Hey where ya going, Hey Hey Hey get your but down here
'the true translation

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from Fisher Boy wrote 4 years 17 weeks ago

i'm sorry i didn't mean to let my gas go i didn't mean to come back

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from benellireaper wrote 4 years 15 weeks ago

Heyheyheyheyheyhey youyouyouyouyou guysguysguysguys Come on in fellas the waters fine and the buffet is free.open baropenbaropenbar!!!!!!

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from ScottyBee wrote 2 years 7 weeks ago

Hey guys! Hey guys! COME HERE! You WON'T BELIEVE THIS! Come look at what Donnie just did! If you guys know the boys from www.duckcommander.com tell them I said hey!

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