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Chad Love: Anybody Got A Guard Donkey?

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February 11, 2010

Chad Love: Anybody Got A Guard Donkey?

By Chad Love

So you're bored at work (and why wouldn’t you be bored at work, right?) and perusing Craigslist instead of working on those TPS reports when you come across this ad:

I'm in need desperate need of a guard donkey for my goats I'm having a huge coyote problem right now and my momma goats are having kids. I really can't be spending alot of money right now due to the fact my wife and I are expecting and I'm trying to save some money. If you have an extra donkey or just want to get rid of one please call me at...

Guard donkey? What the hell is a guard donkey? I mean, it's a...donkey. Not exactly the first thing that comes to mind in the ferocious guard animal category. Give me Dobermans, give me pit bulls, give me Rosie O' Donnell, but don’t give me a cud-chewing ungulate with the countenance of a beanie baby.

Well, believe it or not in many parts of the country donkeys and llamas are used as livestock guardians. They are, quite literally, bad asses. If you're a coyote and you see a llama or donkey or worse, both working in tandem you best just slink on to the next unguarded flock or take your chances of getting stomped into prairie grass fertilizer.

Coyotes aren't the only things these bad asses and Lorenzo Lllamas can face down, either. Pit Bulls? Here's a video of a llama going all Irish riverdance on one. And reporters? Oh, man, they really don't like reporters. Someone obviously asked the wrong question...

So are donkeys and llamas going to replace pitbulls and rotts as the favored ferocious status pets of drug cartel kingpins and celebrities? I don’t know, but if I see one I'm crossing the street. Fast.

Comments (22)

Top Rated
All Comments
from bigjake wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Interesting stuff, I have a sheep rancher friend who uses big alpine goat billies to guard his flock,with pretty good success.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Love it, especially the reporter vid. I remember this going around a ways back - a mule but he's obviously inherited the donkey spunk ...

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/mulelion.asp

Might also want to hop back into the truck if you see some ganders coming around the house.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jtboles wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

That is so funny you would never think a llama would have such a foul temper, and if anyones kids want to be a reporter tell the to stay away from llamas.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Judd McCullum wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Remember that set of photos of the donkey stomping and throwing the mountain lion around a few years ago? Can't remember if the cat was already dead or not, but the donkey sure didn't seem to care.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from dukkillr wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I can imagine that would be a lot more effective! Not to mention entertaining!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sarge01 wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Here in the mountains of WV we have a lot of sheep farmers. If you look of every farm you will find several donkeys. Besides the coyotes we have a problem with we also have bear. One would think that a bear wouldn't be afraid of a donkey. Wrong think again. A bear wants no part of a donkey. On these farms there are several donkeys in the same field so the coyotes or bears have to contend with several donkeys.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from 86Ram wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Donkey's can be a little stubborn and mean when they want to be so this story doesn't surprise me much. They bite pretty good along with one heck of akick they are formidable foes to any attacker.

Great story.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Don't mess with donkeys. They are mean son of a guns.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from fliphuntr14 wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Go gaud donkey GO!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from crfromsc wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

They are very common in the south. I have seen a lot of donkeys on farms in TN and upon asking why so many people had them I was told they keep the coyoytes away from the other livestock.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from L3 wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

That is not a pitbull, it is a boxer! Man, now I want to see an ostrich and llama go at it!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ableskeever wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Yup, we got 'em running with the cows in East Texas. Very common out here.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Koldkut wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I live in eastern Colorado ranch country and Llamas are pretty common, as well as great pyrenees.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from 2Poppa wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I have a friend that has sheep also and has a donkey that ... get this, hates deer! Everytime he smells or sees a deer he runs it out of the sheep pen, and any coyotes that may be in the vicinity.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I been wanting a donkey for years but my hubbie is resistant. I'd want a jennie, and I'd want to train her to pull a cart. Hubbie wants a draft horse, but we don't have enough pasture for both a draft horse and the sheep. I think a donkey would fit in just fine!.
Can you still get burros from the BLM?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ricefarm wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I guy I know but haven't seen for several years had a herd of sheep, which are just magnets for coyotes. He got a pair of dogs, I wish I could remember the breed that were supposed to be the best thing ever for coyotes. He put them in the pasture with the sheep and the next morning found a dead coyote inside the fence. He found out after he got them that they didn't do so good at distinguishing between coyotes and dogs. They would stay close to the herd but anything canine that came around was toast.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Sound like something a farmer or rancher would like to keep several of.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from RebusCom wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

A longer clip of the llama expressing his opinion of the reporter is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKreparktl4

Llamas are remarkably intelligent. If you have any doubts of that, see http://www.rattlesnakeridgeranch.com/the_matriarch.htm

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jlfreeborn wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

haha...this is good stuff

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from tbogg10 wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

LMAO... who would of thought? but hey whatever works right

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jerry A. wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I had heard of using Llamas toguard flocks before, but never donkeys. My in-laws raise Boer goats and have a dog that lives with the flock. She is a mix, but I can't remember the name of the two breeds.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from texasjohn wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I've seen both donkeys and llamas sharing the fields with sheep, cattle, and goats for years. They are one of the great success stories in guard animals, and I've seen coyotes hit by 18-wheelers that were in better shape than one following a meeting with a donkey or a llama.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from bigjake wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Interesting stuff, I have a sheep rancher friend who uses big alpine goat billies to guard his flock,with pretty good success.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Judd McCullum wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Remember that set of photos of the donkey stomping and throwing the mountain lion around a few years ago? Can't remember if the cat was already dead or not, but the donkey sure didn't seem to care.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Don't mess with donkeys. They are mean son of a guns.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Love it, especially the reporter vid. I remember this going around a ways back - a mule but he's obviously inherited the donkey spunk ...

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/mulelion.asp

Might also want to hop back into the truck if you see some ganders coming around the house.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jtboles wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

That is so funny you would never think a llama would have such a foul temper, and if anyones kids want to be a reporter tell the to stay away from llamas.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from dukkillr wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I can imagine that would be a lot more effective! Not to mention entertaining!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sarge01 wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Here in the mountains of WV we have a lot of sheep farmers. If you look of every farm you will find several donkeys. Besides the coyotes we have a problem with we also have bear. One would think that a bear wouldn't be afraid of a donkey. Wrong think again. A bear wants no part of a donkey. On these farms there are several donkeys in the same field so the coyotes or bears have to contend with several donkeys.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from 86Ram wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Donkey's can be a little stubborn and mean when they want to be so this story doesn't surprise me much. They bite pretty good along with one heck of akick they are formidable foes to any attacker.

Great story.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from fliphuntr14 wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Go gaud donkey GO!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from crfromsc wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

They are very common in the south. I have seen a lot of donkeys on farms in TN and upon asking why so many people had them I was told they keep the coyoytes away from the other livestock.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from L3 wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

That is not a pitbull, it is a boxer! Man, now I want to see an ostrich and llama go at it!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ableskeever wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Yup, we got 'em running with the cows in East Texas. Very common out here.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Koldkut wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I live in eastern Colorado ranch country and Llamas are pretty common, as well as great pyrenees.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from 2Poppa wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I have a friend that has sheep also and has a donkey that ... get this, hates deer! Everytime he smells or sees a deer he runs it out of the sheep pen, and any coyotes that may be in the vicinity.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I been wanting a donkey for years but my hubbie is resistant. I'd want a jennie, and I'd want to train her to pull a cart. Hubbie wants a draft horse, but we don't have enough pasture for both a draft horse and the sheep. I think a donkey would fit in just fine!.
Can you still get burros from the BLM?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ricefarm wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I guy I know but haven't seen for several years had a herd of sheep, which are just magnets for coyotes. He got a pair of dogs, I wish I could remember the breed that were supposed to be the best thing ever for coyotes. He put them in the pasture with the sheep and the next morning found a dead coyote inside the fence. He found out after he got them that they didn't do so good at distinguishing between coyotes and dogs. They would stay close to the herd but anything canine that came around was toast.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jere Smith wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

Sound like something a farmer or rancher would like to keep several of.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from RebusCom wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

A longer clip of the llama expressing his opinion of the reporter is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKreparktl4

Llamas are remarkably intelligent. If you have any doubts of that, see http://www.rattlesnakeridgeranch.com/the_matriarch.htm

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jlfreeborn wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

haha...this is good stuff

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from tbogg10 wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

LMAO... who would of thought? but hey whatever works right

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Jerry A. wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I had heard of using Llamas toguard flocks before, but never donkeys. My in-laws raise Boer goats and have a dog that lives with the flock. She is a mix, but I can't remember the name of the two breeds.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from texasjohn wrote 2 years 14 weeks ago

I've seen both donkeys and llamas sharing the fields with sheep, cattle, and goats for years. They are one of the great success stories in guard animals, and I've seen coyotes hit by 18-wheelers that were in better shape than one following a meeting with a donkey or a llama.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

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