By John Merwin

Now about those sex ads. You know, the ads in the back of our print edition that tout various male-enhancement products. Some people complain about them. Others just smirk. But what if some of those things turned out to be great fishing products?

Here’s an example. Suppose you’re fishing a headwater creek for little brook trout and keep a few for dinner. The minimum legal size is 6 inches, but you’ve inadvertently kept a 5-incher. Uh-oh, here comes the game warden. Quick! Slip that little brookie into the pocket-size vacuum device and with a few fast pumps you’ve turned that trout into a legal fish!

The potential here is just wonderful. Need some bigger plastic worms or maybe a few larger dry flies? No problem. There are some pills that supposedly increase the size of certain things. So maybe you could dissolve a couple of tablets in water and then soak your size 14 Light Cahills overnight. By morning, they’d be size 12s or maybe even 10s!
Other products have a different application. There’s an aftershave lotion that  supposedly will make females more affectionate. Well, hey....my steelhead flies could use a little more love. There are lots of female steelhead in the river, so maybe soaking my woolly buggers in this stuff will help. I bet it might work on a jig for spawning largemouth bass, too.

Understand that I have not yet actually tried any of the foregoing. I don’t really know if those products would work in fishing or not. But stranger things have happened in the world of angling, so maybe it’s worth a shot. I plan to try, anyway, just as soon as I get my free samples....

(CAUTION: You can be sure that our online police will be all over this, so please keep your comments above gutter level.)

Comments (7)

from minigunner111 wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

Sir you ARE A Genious.

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from MLH wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

LMAO. Interesting way to pimp ... er ... show support for your advertisers. But they wouldn't be advertising for so long if there weren't any takers. Why not ask for free samples in brown bags for a field report. Names changed and faces to be pixeled out to not embarrass the next of kin.

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from buckhunter wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

If my fish is a little too short I just step on it but for other things I'll take a pill thank you.

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from coho310 wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

If this "vaccum" device existed,I'd be swimming in media right now because every fish I catch would be instantly blown-up to record size.You'd see articles like;"300 lb crappie caught in a neighborhood pond in Idaho".

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from bigjake wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

funny stuff, especially the part about catching 5" brook trout...hilarious.As if brookies came that small.In my parts the provincial bird this the ravenous mosquito/hummingbird cross...they are very fond of eating brookies under 12", so all local brookies grow to a minimum of 13" 24 hours after they hatch. ;)

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from spinner wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

no tiny brook trout in this headwater I fished.

http://lenharris.blogspot.com/2009/11/last-dance.html

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from bigjake wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

nice brookies,but why is the first 2 pictures of brown trout? Did you catch the browns on same water as the brookies?

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from bigjake wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

funny stuff, especially the part about catching 5" brook trout...hilarious.As if brookies came that small.In my parts the provincial bird this the ravenous mosquito/hummingbird cross...they are very fond of eating brookies under 12", so all local brookies grow to a minimum of 13" 24 hours after they hatch. ;)

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from bigjake wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

nice brookies,but why is the first 2 pictures of brown trout? Did you catch the browns on same water as the brookies?

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from MLH wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

LMAO. Interesting way to pimp ... er ... show support for your advertisers. But they wouldn't be advertising for so long if there weren't any takers. Why not ask for free samples in brown bags for a field report. Names changed and faces to be pixeled out to not embarrass the next of kin.

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from buckhunter wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

If my fish is a little too short I just step on it but for other things I'll take a pill thank you.

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from minigunner111 wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

Sir you ARE A Genious.

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from coho310 wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

If this "vaccum" device existed,I'd be swimming in media right now because every fish I catch would be instantly blown-up to record size.You'd see articles like;"300 lb crappie caught in a neighborhood pond in Idaho".

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from spinner wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

no tiny brook trout in this headwater I fished.

http://lenharris.blogspot.com/2009/11/last-dance.html

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