By Kirk Deeter

As much as I'm enjoying watching the Winter Olympics, I must admit that I think "bonus curling coverage" is an oxymoron. That's not a sport. That's a game. Anything you can do while you drink beer should not qualify as an Olympic sport. But if the Olympics want curling in the mix, why not fly fishing?

I wonder who would win medals in the various fly fishing disciplines. Not just that dopey Euro-nymph stuff they do at the fly fishing world championships. Also some exciting, made-for-television events:

Long distance casting into a wind machine... Gotta think the team from the Bahamas would dominate. Maybe Argentina would win silver. Belize takes bronze.

Two-handed Spey on targets. Great Britain takes gold. Canada wins the silver (unless the fly fishing Olympics were in Canada, then they'd take bronze). Toss-up between Norway and Sweden for the bronze.

Czech nymphing. Poland wins gold (because they really started it). Slovakia earns the silver, and the Czechs take bronze, then quickly start reunification talks with the Slovaks.

Of course, it wouldn't be an Olympics unless there were several sports on the schedule that only Americans really do, so we can pad our medal total (e.g. snowboarding). So let's just say the Yanks sweep the medals in bass plug popping, wet-wading a river obstacle course in Keen sandals, and saying "dude... nice fish... pretty colors" most often in the free-fish long program, which counts for 3/4 of the total score. But watch out, the South Koreans and Chinese will create stringent training programs with respective crops of 17,000 four-year-olds and dominate these events in 16 years.

Sight fishing? New Zealand 1, Slovenia 2, and USA 3, provided our team from Lees Ferry, Arizona, and Key West passes doping control.

And the "all-around" fly fishing decathlon (catching trout on dry flies, carp on streamers, drift boat rowing, nymph tying, roll casting, salmon netting, tarpon jumping, belly boating, wind-aided two-weight distance casting, and grip-n-grinning)... hmmm, that's a tough call. Which nation can boast the best all-around fly anglers? You'd think the Americans would be heavy favorites. But I wouldn't discount the Japanese, or the Germans. Chile and Argentina would be in there. I'd say the Brazilian women's team would get the highest television ratings if they wore the same uniforms their beach volleyball team does. And Oh, Canada... yeah, I know, you think you'd "own the podium."

I'll let you award the overall team medals... I'm going to watch some curling.

Deeter

Comments (10)

from stick500 wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

yeh, curling sucks
hey we did have an event for anglers and hunters called Outdoor Games- does that still exist or has it disappeared- I always thought it was pretty cool.
BTW, how could anyone beat the Brits when it comes to carping?

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from senglund wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

I don't think I'd be able to leave my couch if fly fishing was in the Olympics. I'd be too glued to the tele.

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from ejunk wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

"Not just that dopey Euro-nymph stuff they do at the fly fishing world championships."

that's the funniest thing I've read today. Thanks Deeter!

yrs-
Evan!

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from buckhunter wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

It would be hard to judge a fishing competition but Olympic fly casting would be cool. Mix it up with a little skiing or running and throw in a pint of Hennesy and you've caught my interest.

With that said, the casting and drinking gold would go to the Irish. The silver would go to a team of college kids from Colorado University and the bronze would go to the Japanese who can't drink worth a darn but make up for it with the Tenkara rods they use.

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from ilikehunting wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

but your forgetting that most fishermen enjoy a beer while fishing..according to your definition that would make it 'just a game' right?

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from Bookie12 wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

Haha wind aided 2 weight distance casting...classic!

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from MLH wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

Brazilian women's team? I just want to judge.

And don't forget the guide competition - river, drift, and flats boat categories, netting and landing, client fast-water rescue, and backcast avoidance.

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from Mactrager wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

I love it, after fishing in a few places I have to say that New Zealand will come out way up there, the wind is a killer and they love to fish dry. That's my vote, and let's leave curling out of the next winter games.

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from Alex Pernice th... wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

I second that guides comp, defiantly the thing we would want to watch. Spey casting? Steelhead casting and small stream comp? Who knows...

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from hi_tail wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

I wonder if curling was invented during a slow day of ice-fishing.....

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from stick500 wrote 2 years 13 weeks ago

yeh, curling sucks
hey we did have an event for anglers and hunters called Outdoor Games- does that still exist or has it disappeared- I always thought it was pretty cool.
BTW, how could anyone beat the Brits when it comes to carping?

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from hi_tail wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

I wonder if curling was invented during a slow day of ice-fishing.....

+2 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from senglund wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

I don't think I'd be able to leave my couch if fly fishing was in the Olympics. I'd be too glued to the tele.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from ejunk wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

"Not just that dopey Euro-nymph stuff they do at the fly fishing world championships."

that's the funniest thing I've read today. Thanks Deeter!

yrs-
Evan!

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from buckhunter wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

It would be hard to judge a fishing competition but Olympic fly casting would be cool. Mix it up with a little skiing or running and throw in a pint of Hennesy and you've caught my interest.

With that said, the casting and drinking gold would go to the Irish. The silver would go to a team of college kids from Colorado University and the bronze would go to the Japanese who can't drink worth a darn but make up for it with the Tenkara rods they use.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from ilikehunting wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

but your forgetting that most fishermen enjoy a beer while fishing..according to your definition that would make it 'just a game' right?

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Bookie12 wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

Haha wind aided 2 weight distance casting...classic!

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from MLH wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

Brazilian women's team? I just want to judge.

And don't forget the guide competition - river, drift, and flats boat categories, netting and landing, client fast-water rescue, and backcast avoidance.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Mactrager wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

I love it, after fishing in a few places I have to say that New Zealand will come out way up there, the wind is a killer and they love to fish dry. That's my vote, and let's leave curling out of the next winter games.

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

from Alex Pernice th... wrote 2 years 12 weeks ago

I second that guides comp, defiantly the thing we would want to watch. Spey casting? Steelhead casting and small stream comp? Who knows...

+1 Good Comment? Yes | No | Report

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All submitted comments are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.