March 18, 2011
Difficult Questions Answered...But No Hat From Petzal
By David E. Petzal
As Mr. Bourjaily has informed you, we are looking for questions for Saison Deux of The Gun Nuts, and I am inviting you to submit yours. It can be anything relating to rifles, or hunting, or reloading, or optics. If I don’t know the answer I will make up something and pass it off as the truth, just like the Government does. Personal questions, such as why was I not invited to the Royal Wedding, will not be addressed. (I’m still pissed off about that. What the hell could they have been thinking?)
I will not answer questions on how to summon the Devil. He has just been elected Governor of the State of New York, and is quite busy at the moment.
I will answer questions on politics, but only if they pertain to gun control.
I will answer only questions that can be dealt with in a couple of sentences, since we live in the age of the sound bite. If you’d like an analysis of Bill Heavey’s stylistic indebtedness to Emily Bronte, you will have to get it elsewhere.
No credit for the selected questions will be given. However, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you have contributed to the intellectual progress of mankind.
Thank you in advance.