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Man, I’ve been saying this for years: When a rock lands near you, Bigfoot could be responsible. And now a professional researcher has come forward to back me up on this. In a story from Oklahoma’s the Tulsa World, D.W. Lee, global director of the Mid-America Bigfoot Research Center–after making a cast of a large footprint in which “the toes were clearly visible” and having heard “tell-tale mocking calls”–says, and I quote:

“A lot of people, it doesn’t really dawn on them when rocks lands near them that Bigfoot could be responsible.”

This is exactly what I’m saying. When a rock lands near you, or the cat hasn’t been home in couple days, or you’re mysteriously missing a left sock after doing the laundry. . . Bigfoot could be responsible.

HE JUST ISN’T!

Unless I’m wrong. Feel free to set me straight.