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Chad Love: Why Celebrities Need Real Dogs

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September 29, 2009

Chad Love: Why Celebrities Need Real Dogs

By Chad Love

Far be it from me to make light of someone else's tragedy, but what's up with all celebrity dogs being eaten by coyotes?
 
First it was Ozzy Osbourne watching his Pomeranian "Little Bit" become a little bit of a snack for a bold LA coyote, then two of Paris Hilton's purse rats may or may not have been consumed.

And now Jessica Simpson, who's famous for ... something, I think, has announced that her "maltipoo" puppy was snatched by a coyote.
 
From the story:
Jessica Simpson recently witnessed her maltipoo Daisy attacked by a wild coyote. On her Twitter, Simpson writes:“My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR!” But here’s the thing: Jessica thinks that perhaps the tiny dog escaped and is asking anyone with information to email her at findingmissdaisy@gmail.com. She is offering a reward to anyone who helps find the pup.

As evidenced by the picture posted here, Jessica is fairly avid fur-wearer. Perhaps this experience will help her make the connection between the animals we love and the animals we wear. They each experience pain the same way. We know how hard it is to lose a pet and send our deepest condolences to Jess.
 
First, can someone please tell me what the hell a "maltipoo" is? Is it a breed of dog or a painful colon condition?
 
Second, if it is a dog rather than a fluffy Norway rat, then it's probably small enough to fit in a designer handbag, because we all know the dogs of celebrities are as much fashion accessory as pet. And as such, there's no way in hell that "perhaps the tiny dog escaped". It's nice to hope, I guess, but the only way that dog will be recovered is via pooper-scooper and plastic bag.
 
So I have two bits of advise here, one for California celebrities, the other for coyote hunters.
 
Celebrities: instead of buying "dogs" that even a fair-sized bull snake could swallow,  perhaps you need something a bit more, you know, dog-like. Maybe something like this (via Steve Bodio's blog)

Now that's a dog.
 
And to all the coyote hunters out there who run curs and catahoulas, I suggest you go find yourself a maltipoo, whatever it is...

Comments (19)

Top Rated
All Comments
from ckRich wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

WOW. Is it just me or did it look like that dog kept giving the wolf a chance to recoup and escape? That thing could probably dispatch a coyote with just a dirty look.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from RJ Arena wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

A "maltipoo", Is a Maltese and a Poodle mix, in other words, a fluffy yapping dog that is without a doubt coyote bait.
Now I am not going to pretend that I am immune to having yapping dogs, my wife had me buy her two over the years, a Shih-Tzu and a Lhasa Apso,(but our English springer was my favorite dog), these little dogs can be very aggressive, (meaning many cut fingers and a lot of cussing if not properly trained) but are never a match for a coyote.
I did once have a neighbor who owned a mastiff and a Lhasa apso, they got along great and it was a scream to watch the little dog be alpha, the huge mastiff was completely dominated by the little yapper, but would defend it to the death. Dogs can be strangely wonderful.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

All small dogs aren't defenseless. The dachshund we have once survived 3 days in the fields infested with coyotes after his escape from a kennel. He is the meanest dog on the planet with 18 bites to his credit People, dogs, cats, you name it. A-1 rat and mole killer, too. We rescued him because no one else would take him after his owner died. He split the noses of two Labs and one golden retriever. There are probably some coyotes with emotional scars running around somewhere.

He is nearly 14 with weakening eyesight and strength, so he is not allowed outside without the Black Lab as "bodyguard" anymore.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from idahooutdoors wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Where did you dig up that video???? It is all about fashion with these people...a real dog would be to inconvenient for them...I guess all dogs have a purpose..I've just never could see the point in any dog that didn't earn it's dinner...mine always had a job they could do, therefore a purpose...I guess these little yappers serve the purpose of being dinner for a coyote....to bad these people don't believe in the second amendment, they could have maybe saved their dog.....

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Wow ... now that is a real dog (video). Any idea what type of sheep dog that is? Seems to be a good breed to import about now.

More disturbing than the celeb designer dogs gone missing is the story from the Stephen Bodio blog about the British supermarket banning New Zealand lamb because the shepherds use herding dogs.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Okay, I'll answer my own question - from what I can find it's a Caucasian sheepdog/ovcharka/nagazi, and they do use them to herd and guard sheep out west. Impressive.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from seadog wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

This story almost made me want to root for the coyotes, but I can't blame the purse rats for their owner's odd behavior. Hmmmm, I wonder if J.S. named that little fuzz-ball after Daisy Duke?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jbird wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

I will gladly offer to console Jessica during her time if loss. That's a tough ass dog in the video, even if I can't understand a word of it.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

What part of arg, arg, grrrr, arrrrahhhh requires translation? LOL

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ruckweiler wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Purse rats. Descriptive and insulting at the same time. Not bad, at all.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Walt Smith wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Ya gotta enjoy it when mother natures children visit hollywoods vainest and eat their pets "OOH the Horror!". Guess what Jessica, your lil dog probably did escape-- right out the back door!! Jewlery and all. Somebody needs to show that video to the anti wolf hunting crowd, show them how much more humane hunters are than killer sheep hounds. That dog reminded me of a cat playing with a mouse, not killing it quickly so it could catch it again and again and again. Ha- Ha Good doggie!!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Wags wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Maltipoo.....my kids want one just so they can say the name. They actully like the breed Havapoo even more. Of course they are all under the age of 11. And once I showed the boys a picture of these dogs they realized they wanted NO part of that (but they still like saying havapoo).

We had one name for dogs like Maltipoo, havapoos, labradoodles, et al; MUTTS. I've seen English Shepherds, Springer beagles, Golden sheep dogs, and some really crazy mixes. Shame on me for not having the brains to register these "designer breeds" with the nitwits at the AKC.

So, you're saying a little wire kennel run, out in the middle of field with a hill top over looking it, maybe a little neck of woodds funneling to said kennel full of Maltipoos.......about 100 yards away from the hill top, prevailing wind blowing across the kennel, into said hillside.......I LIKE IT!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from LesserSon wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Hot diggity! The video isn't exactly unstaged, is it? The wolf is confused when it is released into the sheep pen, and finally starts what it is naturally programmed to do (eliminate the unhealthy - which includes all members of domesticated varieties). Then the dog enters. The dog is not playing with it's prey like a cat. The dog's kill instinct is reduced by generations of human selection to "chase off if possible." It is actually behaving like an adolescent wolf. If the dog had the true killer instinct, it would kill the sheep, too.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from LesserSon wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

There seems to be a lot of "eliminate wolves and coyotes" sentiment out there. That is not hunting, folks. If you love to get out in the wild, why turn it into a petting zoo? You're headed the same direction as the celebrities you're criticizing: keep only harmless species. You'll wind up "hunting" chickens on some factory farm with your purse rats.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jersey pig wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

poor coyote can't even get a full meal out of one of those things. probably the closest thing for humans would be like when you eat chinese food and are stuffed full and then hungry again in an hour.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from SD_Whitetail_Hntr wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

I say this video needs to get sent to all the whiny hypocrites on that vegan site that rip on idahooutdoors. They can watch the wolf savagely killing a "defenseless" sheep, in a far more torturous way than our hunting. I would love to hear what their argument is to explain how that is completely ok but humans shouldn't have any killer instinct at all.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Time to encourage Jessica to take up the delightful sport of Coyote Hunting...she ought to be primed by now. We need more well armed celebrities anyway...Here is a fine oppertunity to field a new AR paint job, how about pink "hello Kitty" pattern synthetic stocks perhaps to encourage A list ladies to avenge their yapping microdogs in style? Perhaps New milling patterns and floral engraving? Perhaps there was a use for that gawdawful pink stocked Ruger mini-14 I saw after all. Celebrity coyote hunts, I might actually watch that, (can they use shitzus as bait?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ggmack wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Balzak would have no problem taking care of a coyote. I am planning to bred him with another rotweiller. Any celebs that want one of their own can call me and set up an appointment to pick up a puppy.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from MaxPower wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

And I thought I was the only one... Growing up in the deserts of eastern Utah I lost more dogs to coyotes than Ozzy, the hot blond who thinks she can sing and the Hitlton's all put together.

Purse rats, that's classic.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from WA Mtnhunter wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

All small dogs aren't defenseless. The dachshund we have once survived 3 days in the fields infested with coyotes after his escape from a kennel. He is the meanest dog on the planet with 18 bites to his credit People, dogs, cats, you name it. A-1 rat and mole killer, too. We rescued him because no one else would take him after his owner died. He split the noses of two Labs and one golden retriever. There are probably some coyotes with emotional scars running around somewhere.

He is nearly 14 with weakening eyesight and strength, so he is not allowed outside without the Black Lab as "bodyguard" anymore.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from RJ Arena wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

A "maltipoo", Is a Maltese and a Poodle mix, in other words, a fluffy yapping dog that is without a doubt coyote bait.
Now I am not going to pretend that I am immune to having yapping dogs, my wife had me buy her two over the years, a Shih-Tzu and a Lhasa Apso,(but our English springer was my favorite dog), these little dogs can be very aggressive, (meaning many cut fingers and a lot of cussing if not properly trained) but are never a match for a coyote.
I did once have a neighbor who owned a mastiff and a Lhasa apso, they got along great and it was a scream to watch the little dog be alpha, the huge mastiff was completely dominated by the little yapper, but would defend it to the death. Dogs can be strangely wonderful.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Walt Smith wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Ya gotta enjoy it when mother natures children visit hollywoods vainest and eat their pets "OOH the Horror!". Guess what Jessica, your lil dog probably did escape-- right out the back door!! Jewlery and all. Somebody needs to show that video to the anti wolf hunting crowd, show them how much more humane hunters are than killer sheep hounds. That dog reminded me of a cat playing with a mouse, not killing it quickly so it could catch it again and again and again. Ha- Ha Good doggie!!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

What part of arg, arg, grrrr, arrrrahhhh requires translation? LOL

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Time to encourage Jessica to take up the delightful sport of Coyote Hunting...she ought to be primed by now. We need more well armed celebrities anyway...Here is a fine oppertunity to field a new AR paint job, how about pink "hello Kitty" pattern synthetic stocks perhaps to encourage A list ladies to avenge their yapping microdogs in style? Perhaps New milling patterns and floral engraving? Perhaps there was a use for that gawdawful pink stocked Ruger mini-14 I saw after all. Celebrity coyote hunts, I might actually watch that, (can they use shitzus as bait?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from jbird wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

I will gladly offer to console Jessica during her time if loss. That's a tough ass dog in the video, even if I can't understand a word of it.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from ckRich wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

WOW. Is it just me or did it look like that dog kept giving the wolf a chance to recoup and escape? That thing could probably dispatch a coyote with just a dirty look.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ruckweiler wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Purse rats. Descriptive and insulting at the same time. Not bad, at all.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Wags wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Maltipoo.....my kids want one just so they can say the name. They actully like the breed Havapoo even more. Of course they are all under the age of 11. And once I showed the boys a picture of these dogs they realized they wanted NO part of that (but they still like saying havapoo).

We had one name for dogs like Maltipoo, havapoos, labradoodles, et al; MUTTS. I've seen English Shepherds, Springer beagles, Golden sheep dogs, and some really crazy mixes. Shame on me for not having the brains to register these "designer breeds" with the nitwits at the AKC.

So, you're saying a little wire kennel run, out in the middle of field with a hill top over looking it, maybe a little neck of woodds funneling to said kennel full of Maltipoos.......about 100 yards away from the hill top, prevailing wind blowing across the kennel, into said hillside.......I LIKE IT!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Wow ... now that is a real dog (video). Any idea what type of sheep dog that is? Seems to be a good breed to import about now.

More disturbing than the celeb designer dogs gone missing is the story from the Stephen Bodio blog about the British supermarket banning New Zealand lamb because the shepherds use herding dogs.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Okay, I'll answer my own question - from what I can find it's a Caucasian sheepdog/ovcharka/nagazi, and they do use them to herd and guard sheep out west. Impressive.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jersey pig wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

poor coyote can't even get a full meal out of one of those things. probably the closest thing for humans would be like when you eat chinese food and are stuffed full and then hungry again in an hour.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from idahooutdoors wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Where did you dig up that video???? It is all about fashion with these people...a real dog would be to inconvenient for them...I guess all dogs have a purpose..I've just never could see the point in any dog that didn't earn it's dinner...mine always had a job they could do, therefore a purpose...I guess these little yappers serve the purpose of being dinner for a coyote....to bad these people don't believe in the second amendment, they could have maybe saved their dog.....

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from LesserSon wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

Hot diggity! The video isn't exactly unstaged, is it? The wolf is confused when it is released into the sheep pen, and finally starts what it is naturally programmed to do (eliminate the unhealthy - which includes all members of domesticated varieties). Then the dog enters. The dog is not playing with it's prey like a cat. The dog's kill instinct is reduced by generations of human selection to "chase off if possible." It is actually behaving like an adolescent wolf. If the dog had the true killer instinct, it would kill the sheep, too.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from LesserSon wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

There seems to be a lot of "eliminate wolves and coyotes" sentiment out there. That is not hunting, folks. If you love to get out in the wild, why turn it into a petting zoo? You're headed the same direction as the celebrities you're criticizing: keep only harmless species. You'll wind up "hunting" chickens on some factory farm with your purse rats.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from seadog wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

This story almost made me want to root for the coyotes, but I can't blame the purse rats for their owner's odd behavior. Hmmmm, I wonder if J.S. named that little fuzz-ball after Daisy Duke?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from SD_Whitetail_Hntr wrote 4 years 29 weeks ago

I say this video needs to get sent to all the whiny hypocrites on that vegan site that rip on idahooutdoors. They can watch the wolf savagely killing a "defenseless" sheep, in a far more torturous way than our hunting. I would love to hear what their argument is to explain how that is completely ok but humans shouldn't have any killer instinct at all.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MaxPower wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

And I thought I was the only one... Growing up in the deserts of eastern Utah I lost more dogs to coyotes than Ozzy, the hot blond who thinks she can sing and the Hitlton's all put together.

Purse rats, that's classic.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ggmack wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Balzak would have no problem taking care of a coyote. I am planning to bred him with another rotweiller. Any celebs that want one of their own can call me and set up an appointment to pick up a puppy.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

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