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Chad Love: The End-of-the-World Survival Kit

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December 01, 2009

Chad Love: The End-of-the-World Survival Kit

By Chad Love

Like most of you, I get a seemingly endless supply of mail-order catalogs in the mail, despite the fact that when I actually go to buy something it's generally either local shops or Cabela's for me. Such was the case a few days ago when I opened the mailbox and discovered a catalog from the folks at Cheaper Than Dirt.
 
As I browsing through their catalog I stumbled across this...
 
From the product description:
 
When an emergency hits, we don't always have enough warning to prepare for it. The movie 2012 released on November 13, describes what could potentially happen on 12/21/2012 based on the end of the Ancient Mayan calendar. Throughout history, the Mayan calendar correctly identified evolutionary events. According to the calendar we are now in the Fourth and Final age. Whether you believe or not, it still makes you think, what if all the electronics suddenly stopped working, an asteroid struck the earth, sunspots erase magnetic stored data, a flu pandemic effected millions, would you be able to survive with what you currently have. Fortunately you have time to prepare and we have taken the guess work out of it for you.

The reality of 2012 seems far fetched, but are you prepared for hurricanes, earth quakes, extended power outages, a wide spread pandemic, or turmoil from the Middle East? The primary requirements are food, fuel, water, and shelter; our kits contain basic survival items. FEMA, Homeland Security, and other Emergency Response Teams look to us to fulfill their needs during emergencies. We are experts at supplying the gear you need to survive. Perfect for at home or the office, there is enough basic survival gear for a family of four for 30 days, these are good to have on hand for natural disasters or the 2012 phenomenon.
 

Now I'm sure Cheaper Than Dirt is a fine company that sells lots of neat and useful stuff, but management better keep close eyes on their catalog copywriters before some Hollywood director steals them away to write the screenplay for the next big blockbuster disaster movie, maybe the sequel to this one.
 
Seriously, 2012 survival kits? If it's truly the end of the world, then how the hell are you supposed to survive it? This conundrum poses two questions: First: does collective stupidity actually have a bottom limit or is it some kind of great cosmic suckhole from which reason and common sense simply cannot escape? Second: what's in your 2012 survival kit?
 
Here's mine: a recliner, a six-pack of Mackeson Triple Stout and REM's Document album. If the world truly does end on December 21, 2012, I'm going out drunk, comfortable and happy.

Comments (30)

Top Rated
All Comments
from uplander12 wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Y2k anyone?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Yep, it's Y2K all over again. I couldn't believe some people. Another guy on our Y2K team (auto company), who should have known better, had his basement full of food, water, and survival gear (crates of ammmo, too). Plus he barred up all his windows. The rest of us had enough for a couple of weeks, just in case. The media and retailers will play this up to sell their stuff, so it will be interesting to see what happens on 12/21/2010 ... or is it 12/23/2010. I'm not worried ... Nostradamus figured the end of the world would be in the 4th millennium.

Actually, from what we learned from Katrina, the great blackout from a few years ago, and other disasters, it is wise to have a "survival" kit with enough food, water, and light for a couple of weeks, some means of keeping warm and secure, and a radio (wind-up preferred). Perhaps they are scaring us into buying something we should have anyway.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Oops - 2012 not 2010.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sb Wacker wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Re the bottomless pit of human idiocy

I was asking the same question when a friend summed it up

'You know how stupid the average guy is? Well half of them are even stupider than that.'

Drunk, happy and hopefully laughing at one of my own jokes

SBW

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from texasfirst wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

December 12, eh? Good to know. Now where did I leave my signal mirror? You can always tell the knuckleheads and chickens by the end-of-the-world crazytalk. I didn't fall for Y2K, but 4 years after that Arab insurgent mortars, RPGs and some well-concealed IEDs were nearly the end of my world. More likely end-of-the-world scenario for the average Joe? Having to share the road with drivers who think they can text & drive at the same time!

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from HogBlog wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Interesting choice of final tunes!

Personally, I think I'll just leave my iPod on shuffle and hope for the best. And I'll watch it all play out while sipping a nice single malt, not too peaty, in the back of my camper parked on a high desert ridgeline.

Do the depths of stupidity have a bottom? I'm having serious doubts on that one.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jjas wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

y2k was a load of crap and 2012 will be too.

Geez.......

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

A lot of effort went into making Y2K benign. Otherwise, there would have been extensive lost productivity while people identified and fixed or replaced scores of computers. Ignoring military applications I doubt complete chaos would have reigned but things would have been an irritating mess for awhile. For example, one auto company missed a computer update and lost all vehicle orders when the clock rolled over - thousands of orders had to be manually rekeyed.

The end of the world as we know it in 2012? I wonder if Air Force One will be in the air that day.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Uhhh. What is Cheaper Than Dirts return policy?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from fliphuntr14 wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

well i know where my local grocery store is and if anything goes a little different that day i think i'll just become a last minute shopper/looter... After that i have enough bullets and guns to last me for awhile... i consider myself as prepared as i need to be

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from JohnR wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

I find it ironic that my ancient RCA VCR player had no problem when Y2K rolled around. I knew quite a few people who wasted money on tons of survival food and stuff. They took off to the mountains to survive.
I wonder if anyone has thought that maybe 2012 was as far as the Mayans cared to take their calendar at that time?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from squirrelhurrler... wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

they actually have found mayan scrolls with more dates past
12/21/09
P.S.
awesome first comment
P.P.S
im a nerd my first post is about history

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jcarlin wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

I've just had the shocking revelation that my wall calendar ends at December 31st, 2009... though the tiny look ahead calendar has January 2010..

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Every generation has it's turn to "save the world" in one way or another. As things actually sit there are quite a few global catastrophes that could actually cook off any day. Yellowstone could erupt, The San Andreas fault could go, we copuld get hit by a rock from space or a gamma ray burster.
In general such "survival kits" contain nothing you couldn't collect yourself much cheaper than " cheaper than dirt".
While one cannot be ready for "anything" (gamma ray bursters are hard to prepare for) it is prudent to have some emergency supplies, food, hand tools, medical supplies, etc. It is far better to have preparations that one winds up not needing than to find oneself in some dire situation with nothing to hand. But, build your own survival kit, stock it with some items from CTD if you like but don't purchase the all-in-one. It is a waste.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Paul Wilke wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

The voices only I can hear tell me I'll survive 2012.
However the rest of you guys might be screwed.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Diehl wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

There are viable "end of the world" scenarios without invoking religious eschatology, asteroids, or Class 5 Zombie Outbreaks. A really good flu (or other) epidemic. Extreme social unrest. Most of America is seven days of transportation-distribution infrastructure away from starvation.

Some preparation is a good thing. None of the items listed on that survivalist care package seems as useless to me as, say, spending a thousand dollars on a black rifle when a 10/22 will do everything you need. But there really is no limit to stupidity, imo. Just look at all the camoflage fashionistas who spend most of their hunts cruising slowly on the backs of their camoflaged quads and you can see stupidity's triumph over common sense every autumn.

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from chadlove wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

I can't believe no one has invoked REM's "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine).

That's why I chose that album for my end-of-the-world vigil...

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from texasfirst wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Ohhhhh... Right! Flew right over the top of me. I don't think your audience here is as brushed up on REM as you are. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Diehl wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

I thought the joke was so obvious it didn't need comment.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Walt Smith wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Lets face it-- we all live on a spinning rock thats being shot at every day. We're all on borrowed time!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jmshackelfo@aol.com wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

but the zombie wars could happen at any time

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jmshackelfo@aol.com wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

but the zombie wars could happen at any time

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from coho310 wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

My 2012 survival kit includes;

-Hunting gear(the extra bonus is that there's a gun).

-Fishing gear

-Toilet paper

-Duct tape

-Maybe a book, if so, Into the Wild.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from coho310 wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

I agree this is Y2k all over again, and when this turns out to be a load of B.S., people will make up another phony apocalypse date to scare us.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from K.C. Hanson wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

The world will end, sure, but not until August 3rd, 3026. Everybody knows that.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from K.C. Hanson wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

The world will end, sure, but not until August 3rd, 3026. Everybody knows that.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Beprepared4lots wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Last winter the Interstate near where I live was closed for about a week because of the weather. Supplies began to run low and then completely disappeared in some cases, at the local grocery stores. Afterwards I took a closer look at the pantry and what we had/keep on hand changed a bit. I agree, the big expensive Cheaper Than Dirt "survival kit" is only for those who have money to burn. However, things like Katrina reminds us that we should all have at least a "bug out bag" and some supplies to hold us through for an extended absence from the grocery store. An ounce of prevention (preparation) equals a pound of cure.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sourdough Dave wrote 4 years 15 weeks ago

End of the world threat in 2012? Are we talking about some bozo's reelection bid?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Gritz wrote 4 years 14 weeks ago

I like this thread. I think that there are some good comments and a well balanced bunch. I have been thinking about my home for a while just because of power outages. In a place where most winters can reach -30 I have no way of heating my home if the city shuts down. I would love a fireplace. I can collect all the food and guns I want but realistically I would probably freeze to death in days. I really wouldn't mind a nice self contained space heater and a few weeks of fuel. Other than that I think that having at least a month worth of dried food stuffs is never a bad idea and making food out of real ingredients such as flour and vegetables is probably much better for your health than getting frozen pizza five nights a week.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from vikin sadurian wrote 4 years 11 weeks ago

if u guys were living in baghdad with all it shortages u will get a taste of the end of days

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from Mike Diehl wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

There are viable "end of the world" scenarios without invoking religious eschatology, asteroids, or Class 5 Zombie Outbreaks. A really good flu (or other) epidemic. Extreme social unrest. Most of America is seven days of transportation-distribution infrastructure away from starvation.

Some preparation is a good thing. None of the items listed on that survivalist care package seems as useless to me as, say, spending a thousand dollars on a black rifle when a 10/22 will do everything you need. But there really is no limit to stupidity, imo. Just look at all the camoflage fashionistas who spend most of their hunts cruising slowly on the backs of their camoflaged quads and you can see stupidity's triumph over common sense every autumn.

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from texasfirst wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

December 12, eh? Good to know. Now where did I leave my signal mirror? You can always tell the knuckleheads and chickens by the end-of-the-world crazytalk. I didn't fall for Y2K, but 4 years after that Arab insurgent mortars, RPGs and some well-concealed IEDs were nearly the end of my world. More likely end-of-the-world scenario for the average Joe? Having to share the road with drivers who think they can text & drive at the same time!

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sb Wacker wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Re the bottomless pit of human idiocy

I was asking the same question when a friend summed it up

'You know how stupid the average guy is? Well half of them are even stupider than that.'

Drunk, happy and hopefully laughing at one of my own jokes

SBW

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from jjas wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

y2k was a load of crap and 2012 will be too.

Geez.......

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Uhhh. What is Cheaper Than Dirts return policy?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from JohnR wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

I find it ironic that my ancient RCA VCR player had no problem when Y2K rolled around. I knew quite a few people who wasted money on tons of survival food and stuff. They took off to the mountains to survive.
I wonder if anyone has thought that maybe 2012 was as far as the Mayans cared to take their calendar at that time?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from chadlove wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

I can't believe no one has invoked REM's "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine).

That's why I chose that album for my end-of-the-world vigil...

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from texasfirst wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Ohhhhh... Right! Flew right over the top of me. I don't think your audience here is as brushed up on REM as you are. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from uplander12 wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Y2k anyone?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Yep, it's Y2K all over again. I couldn't believe some people. Another guy on our Y2K team (auto company), who should have known better, had his basement full of food, water, and survival gear (crates of ammmo, too). Plus he barred up all his windows. The rest of us had enough for a couple of weeks, just in case. The media and retailers will play this up to sell their stuff, so it will be interesting to see what happens on 12/21/2010 ... or is it 12/23/2010. I'm not worried ... Nostradamus figured the end of the world would be in the 4th millennium.

Actually, from what we learned from Katrina, the great blackout from a few years ago, and other disasters, it is wise to have a "survival" kit with enough food, water, and light for a couple of weeks, some means of keeping warm and secure, and a radio (wind-up preferred). Perhaps they are scaring us into buying something we should have anyway.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Oops - 2012 not 2010.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from HogBlog wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Interesting choice of final tunes!

Personally, I think I'll just leave my iPod on shuffle and hope for the best. And I'll watch it all play out while sipping a nice single malt, not too peaty, in the back of my camper parked on a high desert ridgeline.

Do the depths of stupidity have a bottom? I'm having serious doubts on that one.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

A lot of effort went into making Y2K benign. Otherwise, there would have been extensive lost productivity while people identified and fixed or replaced scores of computers. Ignoring military applications I doubt complete chaos would have reigned but things would have been an irritating mess for awhile. For example, one auto company missed a computer update and lost all vehicle orders when the clock rolled over - thousands of orders had to be manually rekeyed.

The end of the world as we know it in 2012? I wonder if Air Force One will be in the air that day.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from fliphuntr14 wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

well i know where my local grocery store is and if anything goes a little different that day i think i'll just become a last minute shopper/looter... After that i have enough bullets and guns to last me for awhile... i consider myself as prepared as i need to be

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from squirrelhurrler... wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

they actually have found mayan scrolls with more dates past
12/21/09
P.S.
awesome first comment
P.P.S
im a nerd my first post is about history

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jcarlin wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

I've just had the shocking revelation that my wall calendar ends at December 31st, 2009... though the tiny look ahead calendar has January 2010..

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Every generation has it's turn to "save the world" in one way or another. As things actually sit there are quite a few global catastrophes that could actually cook off any day. Yellowstone could erupt, The San Andreas fault could go, we copuld get hit by a rock from space or a gamma ray burster.
In general such "survival kits" contain nothing you couldn't collect yourself much cheaper than " cheaper than dirt".
While one cannot be ready for "anything" (gamma ray bursters are hard to prepare for) it is prudent to have some emergency supplies, food, hand tools, medical supplies, etc. It is far better to have preparations that one winds up not needing than to find oneself in some dire situation with nothing to hand. But, build your own survival kit, stock it with some items from CTD if you like but don't purchase the all-in-one. It is a waste.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Paul Wilke wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

The voices only I can hear tell me I'll survive 2012.
However the rest of you guys might be screwed.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Walt Smith wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

Lets face it-- we all live on a spinning rock thats being shot at every day. We're all on borrowed time!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jmshackelfo@aol.com wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

but the zombie wars could happen at any time

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sourdough Dave wrote 4 years 15 weeks ago

End of the world threat in 2012? Are we talking about some bozo's reelection bid?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Diehl wrote 4 years 20 weeks ago

I thought the joke was so obvious it didn't need comment.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jmshackelfo@aol.com wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

but the zombie wars could happen at any time

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from coho310 wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

My 2012 survival kit includes;

-Hunting gear(the extra bonus is that there's a gun).

-Fishing gear

-Toilet paper

-Duct tape

-Maybe a book, if so, Into the Wild.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from coho310 wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

I agree this is Y2k all over again, and when this turns out to be a load of B.S., people will make up another phony apocalypse date to scare us.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from K.C. Hanson wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

The world will end, sure, but not until August 3rd, 3026. Everybody knows that.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from K.C. Hanson wrote 4 years 19 weeks ago

The world will end, sure, but not until August 3rd, 3026. Everybody knows that.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Beprepared4lots wrote 4 years 16 weeks ago

Last winter the Interstate near where I live was closed for about a week because of the weather. Supplies began to run low and then completely disappeared in some cases, at the local grocery stores. Afterwards I took a closer look at the pantry and what we had/keep on hand changed a bit. I agree, the big expensive Cheaper Than Dirt "survival kit" is only for those who have money to burn. However, things like Katrina reminds us that we should all have at least a "bug out bag" and some supplies to hold us through for an extended absence from the grocery store. An ounce of prevention (preparation) equals a pound of cure.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Gritz wrote 4 years 14 weeks ago

I like this thread. I think that there are some good comments and a well balanced bunch. I have been thinking about my home for a while just because of power outages. In a place where most winters can reach -30 I have no way of heating my home if the city shuts down. I would love a fireplace. I can collect all the food and guns I want but realistically I would probably freeze to death in days. I really wouldn't mind a nice self contained space heater and a few weeks of fuel. Other than that I think that having at least a month worth of dried food stuffs is never a bad idea and making food out of real ingredients such as flour and vegetables is probably much better for your health than getting frozen pizza five nights a week.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from vikin sadurian wrote 4 years 11 weeks ago

if u guys were living in baghdad with all it shortages u will get a taste of the end of days

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

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