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Chad Love: The REAL "America's Meat"

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December 08, 2009

Chad Love: The REAL "America's Meat"

By Chad Love

Recently on this website there's been a great deal of attention devoted to the flesh of murdered deer. Editors have even gone so far as to dub venison "America's Meat."
 
Not being privy to the brain trust that is this magazine's masthead, I had zero input on this decision, but if I had, rest assured venison wouldn't be "America's Meat." Why? Because I've seen the future of carnivorous dining, and it isn't Bambi. In fact, it isn't anything derived from the formerly living.  Finally, after years of research and testing, the dream, the hope has become reality. Shmeat, my friends, is here...

Put away your guns, your bows and other such archaic implements of speciest butchery. Our eons-long war on this planet's protein-based sentient beings is over. The era of the victimless barbecue is nigh upon us. Praise be to technology! Who needs backstrap and all the cruelty it represents, when you could be gnoshing on this?

Comments (31)

Top Rated
All Comments
from hengst wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Well I am speechless, But then again great idea,everyone should eat this soon to be crap.
More deer and elk for me and my friends.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from RJ Arena wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Why is anyone researching this? Is there a pork shortage I do not know about? That million + wild /pig/hogs devastating the southeast is under control, so we need to make some in the lab? What is the point? We have people dying everyday that real medical research would benefit them, so why is anyone wasting time on this crap? Hunt wild pigs, eat them. No problem. Research disease that kills millions of people worldwide, but don't waste time on "artificial pork" don't need it. Got plenty of the real tasty thing.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Diehl wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

"It's PEEEEEOPLE!!"

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from RichardF wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I think I would eat crow first....

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Hmmm. When people start spending $50 for a pound of genetically raised pork I think it will even further up the value of free range deer. I think PETA has shot themselves in the foot.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Walt Smith wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

By saying "Murdered Deer" then attempting to( I'm hoping sarcasticly) glorify genetic pork one has to wonder if you are asking F&S readers for a lump of coal for christmas???

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from jjas wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Yum. Not.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from earlyriser81 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I just threw up a little in my mouth. What is that?! I agree with hengst, that is just more of the good stuff for me and mine!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from earlyriser81 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I just threw up a little in my mouth. What is that?! I agree with hengst, that is just more of the good stuff for me and mine!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from coho310 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

MMMMMMMM, rubber!
No, seriuosly what is that stuff? I'll stick with venison.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from jeffo52284 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

five years before its good enough for sausage?! I cant stand the wait. maybe i will apply for millions of dollars in government grants to get it here sooner heaven knows we should be using our money on this and not wasting our time on silly things like cures for deadly diseases. or better yet maybe i will have a chat with Arnold and see if i cant get some of that 30 million being pulled from California's fishing and hunting license fees for my research. (if you havent picked up on the sarcasm by now go ahead and give me a -1)

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Koldkut wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

It might be cool to have a rare chicken breast some day, lab grown with zero chance of salmonella. I won't be going out of my way to get it, or push it, things have been a certain way for a long time and I wouldn't want to jeopardize the way I live(on a cattle ranch).

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

The other, other white meat. But, where's the beef?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from gman3186 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

all the more reason to harvest your own meat

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from squirrelgirl wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

it looks like one of my breast implants (kidding)!

+9 Good Comment? | | Report
from 60256 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Now this comedian is actually pretty funny. I liked the way they incorporated pancake wrapped soggy pork HAHA.

But really Hengst, a +1 for you. MORE MEAT FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nate

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Walt Smith wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

AAHHHa Ha Ha Ha- Ooo My Squirrelgirl that was some seriously funny sheet!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Between whatever this boy has been smoking and to much time on his hands, I believe the meds he is taking is showing side effects!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from seadog wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

What the ... that looks revolting.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Del in KS wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Thanks but no thanks. I'll stick to the real thing.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Golfing Sportsman wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Silly Putty and MSG Mmmmmm...

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from shadbuster wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

This is pretty cool, this will help human kind in the future if population growth continues on its current trend, and imagine the implications when humans begin exploring and eventually colonizing outer space, no need to take the animal and all its baggage with you just grow the meat you want! Not much help now, but these things need lots of research so they will be ready when we need them, when artificial insemination (AI) was being developed there was a great fear that AI would lead to abnormalities and it was very difficult to obtain funds, imagine the implications if scientist had given in to the fear mongering and had quit. Lastly how do you many of you tie this research in with PETA, PETA has nothing to do with this, in fact they are opposed to this kind of research as well.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Big O wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

More Soilent Green anyone ?

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from deerslayer1234 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

What the F#@$ is that stuff? It looks disgusting.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from fliphuntr14 wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

im not opposed to the research but they might loose money on that one because you would have to pay me to eat that... its kinda funny that it still doesn't make peta happy.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from wingshooter54 wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

I have no doubt PETA (la-la land inhabitors)will love this. Maybe Pelosi and Hilary (did I just faintly hear braying?)will try some along with their lobster. As far as I am concerned, God put deer in Texas for people to survive on and I damn well intend to survive on deer sausage, deer burger, jerky, backstrap, ......I'm getting hungry; time to go to the deer stand.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from pleva wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

looks good.......NOT!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from BeardogRed wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

Soilant Green!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from BeardogRed wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

Maybe generic Soylant Green from soy bean!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ruckweiler wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

Most likely some grant whore taking money from PETA or some damned Vegan group who developed this garbage. And these "Scientists" wonder WHY their efforts are ridiculed? What's next, artificial vegetables?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Nic Meador wrote 2 years 7 weeks ago

WE DID IIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Nic Meador wrote 2 years 7 weeks ago

I am still going to have to pull the B.S. card on this one.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from squirrelgirl wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

it looks like one of my breast implants (kidding)!

+9 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Diehl wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

"It's PEEEEEOPLE!!"

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from hengst wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Well I am speechless, But then again great idea,everyone should eat this soon to be crap.
More deer and elk for me and my friends.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from RJ Arena wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Why is anyone researching this? Is there a pork shortage I do not know about? That million + wild /pig/hogs devastating the southeast is under control, so we need to make some in the lab? What is the point? We have people dying everyday that real medical research would benefit them, so why is anyone wasting time on this crap? Hunt wild pigs, eat them. No problem. Research disease that kills millions of people worldwide, but don't waste time on "artificial pork" don't need it. Got plenty of the real tasty thing.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from Big O wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

More Soilent Green anyone ?

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from RichardF wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I think I would eat crow first....

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from buckhunter wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Hmmm. When people start spending $50 for a pound of genetically raised pork I think it will even further up the value of free range deer. I think PETA has shot themselves in the foot.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Walt Smith wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

By saying "Murdered Deer" then attempting to( I'm hoping sarcasticly) glorify genetic pork one has to wonder if you are asking F&S readers for a lump of coal for christmas???

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from jjas wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Yum. Not.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from earlyriser81 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I just threw up a little in my mouth. What is that?! I agree with hengst, that is just more of the good stuff for me and mine!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from coho310 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

MMMMMMMM, rubber!
No, seriuosly what is that stuff? I'll stick with venison.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from jeffo52284 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

five years before its good enough for sausage?! I cant stand the wait. maybe i will apply for millions of dollars in government grants to get it here sooner heaven knows we should be using our money on this and not wasting our time on silly things like cures for deadly diseases. or better yet maybe i will have a chat with Arnold and see if i cant get some of that 30 million being pulled from California's fishing and hunting license fees for my research. (if you havent picked up on the sarcasm by now go ahead and give me a -1)

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Walt Smith wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

AAHHHa Ha Ha Ha- Ooo My Squirrelgirl that was some seriously funny sheet!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from earlyriser81 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I just threw up a little in my mouth. What is that?! I agree with hengst, that is just more of the good stuff for me and mine!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Koldkut wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

It might be cool to have a rare chicken breast some day, lab grown with zero chance of salmonella. I won't be going out of my way to get it, or push it, things have been a certain way for a long time and I wouldn't want to jeopardize the way I live(on a cattle ranch).

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from MLH wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

The other, other white meat. But, where's the beef?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from gman3186 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

all the more reason to harvest your own meat

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from 60256 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Now this comedian is actually pretty funny. I liked the way they incorporated pancake wrapped soggy pork HAHA.

But really Hengst, a +1 for you. MORE MEAT FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nate

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clay Cooper wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Between whatever this boy has been smoking and to much time on his hands, I believe the meds he is taking is showing side effects!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from wingshooter54 wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

I have no doubt PETA (la-la land inhabitors)will love this. Maybe Pelosi and Hilary (did I just faintly hear braying?)will try some along with their lobster. As far as I am concerned, God put deer in Texas for people to survive on and I damn well intend to survive on deer sausage, deer burger, jerky, backstrap, ......I'm getting hungry; time to go to the deer stand.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from seadog wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

What the ... that looks revolting.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Del in KS wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Thanks but no thanks. I'll stick to the real thing.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Golfing Sportsman wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Silly Putty and MSG Mmmmmm...

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from shadbuster wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

This is pretty cool, this will help human kind in the future if population growth continues on its current trend, and imagine the implications when humans begin exploring and eventually colonizing outer space, no need to take the animal and all its baggage with you just grow the meat you want! Not much help now, but these things need lots of research so they will be ready when we need them, when artificial insemination (AI) was being developed there was a great fear that AI would lead to abnormalities and it was very difficult to obtain funds, imagine the implications if scientist had given in to the fear mongering and had quit. Lastly how do you many of you tie this research in with PETA, PETA has nothing to do with this, in fact they are opposed to this kind of research as well.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from deerslayer1234 wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

What the F#@$ is that stuff? It looks disgusting.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from fliphuntr14 wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

im not opposed to the research but they might loose money on that one because you would have to pay me to eat that... its kinda funny that it still doesn't make peta happy.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from pleva wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

looks good.......NOT!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from BeardogRed wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

Soilant Green!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from BeardogRed wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

Maybe generic Soylant Green from soy bean!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ruckweiler wrote 2 years 8 weeks ago

Most likely some grant whore taking money from PETA or some damned Vegan group who developed this garbage. And these "Scientists" wonder WHY their efforts are ridiculed? What's next, artificial vegetables?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Nic Meador wrote 2 years 7 weeks ago

WE DID IIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Nic Meador wrote 2 years 7 weeks ago

I am still going to have to pull the B.S. card on this one.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment