Run for your lives! The Zombie Turkeys are coming! GOBBLE GOBBLE BRAINS!

I'd love to have turkeys rampage in my neighborhood. My bow loves it when I shoot turkeys

I think any new anti-bully legislation should apply to these birds. I will volunteer to host detention for these birds at my house, anyone gets out of line and they will be joining me for a one on one dinner meeting.

And they have absolutely no clue what to do about it...

Good for a laugh; but what is REALLY scary is the abysmal ignorance of these urban misfits! When you consider that a majority of human beings now live in cities and basically know nothing about the real world, I don't hold out much hope for our future. I hope the turkeys peck 'em all to death.

Besides, I cannot understand how New Yorkers could be so insensitive to the plight of a group of underprivileged refugees, driven from their homes and onto the shores of a strange place (NYC is nothing if not strange!), friendless, helpless... tasty...
Why, it serves the New Yorkers RIGHT to have that group of feathered freedom fighters demanding their rights to free food, a place to roost, and the right to scare the BEJEEZUS out of Staten Island hairdressers who are trapped in their cars! I mean, who wouldn't enjoy that??! lol

I don't know that I have ever seen a 4' tall turkey. Are those fancy NY hens taller when they wear heels?

"city law protects wild turkeys from hunters." hmmm...guess they are stuck with them then. funny how these people live in misery and refuse to do anything about it. guess you have a problem, there.

sound to me like these people should really get out and enjoy nature a little more often

They are afraid of...Turkeys? My goodness what neurotic fearful wretches must live there! Afraid of Turkeys! Guffaw!
Methinks the Turkeys are out for their hideous revenge!

Boy, I could be a real life Robin Hood shooting turkeys with a longbow there. . . Loved by the people as a hero, and a worthy opponent to the law.
Good thing turkey huntin' is legal in Oklahoma!

I read some of the above comments all I can say is some of you guys should get out more or at least don't shoot from the hip. I live in a state that has counting ocean bay and barrier islands over 600 miles of public sandy beaches, a 6 million acre public park [the Adirondacks], the tallest waterfall in America [Niagra 189 feet], the bible that every President since Washington was sworn in on, one of the largest rivers [St Lawrence seaway] over 200 freshwater lakes. I won'even start about what Manhattan has to offer like museums, theater and such the Redneck comedy troupe even visited. To be fair it also has a few scary places even Buffalo Bill said he would rather spend a week with wild indians than a night in the Five Points but he was only Wild Bill not Teddy Roosevelt a Long Island guy

Trapped in her car?? Great googly moogly... Here's an idea - put the car in gear and drive. The stupid bird would have hopped off your car.

I live on Long Island and would be more than willing to take my self-tuned, and gas-ram equipped Gamo CFX .22 cal. air rifle, that's punching 1" groups at 75 yds, over to Staten Island, to take care of a little bird problem. But wait, air guns are banned in NYC, so there goes that idea. I guess I'd have to use the bow with a judo point and aim for their heads. No, that wouldn't work either, because I can't discharge a bow within 500 ft of a building, and with buildings being thisclose to one another in NYC, there's just no way.

With all these anti-gun and anti-hunting laws in effect in NYC, they're pretty much screwed. Hell, Nassau County, L.I. is not much better. Deer are making their way west from Suffolk County and we can't even shoot them in our own backyards.

I gotta get out of this sh!thole.

"you quite literally run out of ways to make fun of people"
Report to my office
SBW

I'll say two things:

1. Sounds like an episode straight out of South Park; I tried you-tubing it but to no avail. I'm sure ya'all remember the episode to which I'm referring.

2. Turkeys can be vicious buggers when given the chance. A jake staked out my neighbor's deck and refused to let anyone on it, including the dog. The dog would run out, initially, and the turkey would attack him and chase him back in the house. Same thing with any other person or animal that came on that deck. Then one day the turkey had an unfortunate collision with a broom handle and got its neck broke. Oops. FWIW, ever seen a peacock defend a chicken coupe; big birds can be quite vicious if given the opportunity.

3. The people in New York make me sick; to the Long Islanders who can't stop crying: quit your whining and do something about it if you're that concerned about the turkey population. Talk about people who don't know how to help themselves.

Hide your kids, hide your wife
hide your kids, hide your wife
and hide your husband cuz the turkeys are attackin' everybody out here.

Growing up in Scituate, MA, the wild turkey and deer population has exploded. While it was not a common occurrence growing up, now when visiting home I can wake up to find a pack of turkeys strutting across the back yard taunting the dogs.

Nobody. Not nobody could survive a purse-swinging incident wielded by my Grandmother. She must have carried a brick in there. Never saw a dog of any size that didn't wind up butt-over-tea kettle, trying to yap at Grannie.

The best part? She never broke stride, she never paused in the conversation. BANG. We move on.