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New App Translates Dogs' Barks to English Text

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August 11, 2011

New App Translates Dogs' Barks to English Text

By Chad Love

by Chad Love

I'll be the first to admit that I don't have a very good track record with electronic gadgets, especially electronic gadgets designed to make our lives "easier" or "simpler" or "more efficient." To me those are all just code words for screaming frustration, and (to paraphrase famous curmudgeon Ed Abbey) I'd just as soon someone come after me with an ax as a gadget designed to make life easier.

So imagine my chagrin when my wife recently informed me she had upgraded our cell phones to "smartphones." This irritated me to no end. Just two weeks prior I had finally managed to kill my old cell phone by "accidentally" getting it wet on a fishing trip, and I couldn't be happier. Now I was not only getting a new one, but one that was "smart?" Thanks, hon. I loathe cell phones more than all other technology. A couple of years ago I did a blog post about shooting my cell phone with my bow. It wasn't a stunt. I honestly relished the experience.

But I've had this thing for a couple weeks now and I haven't yet pinned it to the backstop, so perhaps even a Luddite like myself can achieve a sort of uneasy stasis with iWorld. And since everyone tells me I need a few "apps" for my cognitively-advanced talking device, I've been browsing the "app" store. And I think I've found a winner, an app destined to completely reshape the gundog training landscape. No more guessing what your dog is thinking. No more trying to read your dog's subtle body language indicators. If you've ever wondered what the hell your dog was thinking when you gave him that "back" cast and he took a right "over" instead, well, here's the app for that...

Ever wonder what your dog might be trying to tell you? BowLingual Dog Translator is a Dog-to-English translator that allows your dog to communicate to you in a way that's easy for you to understand.

Directions for use:

1. Press the "Translate Bark" button to begin the recording/translation process. 2. Hold the device near your dog as it barks. 3. Once recording is complete, wait a moment for bark analyzation. 4. Your dog's message is displayed in easy-to-understand English.

Whether you have a petite Chihuahua or a towering Great Dane, BowLingual is fun to use with dogs of all sizes and shapes, and is a great way to impress your friends.

Note: BowLingual Dog Translator is intended for novel entertainment, and may not accurately reflect your dog's emotions at all times.

Gosh, why did I wait so long to get one of these smart phones? It's all true: They really do make life so much easier. And simpler. And more efficient. I'm going to go right now and see what, exactly is on my dog's minds. I'll let you know what they say...

 

Comments (11)

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from DSMbirddog wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

Your spouse must be a lovely and forgiving soul to put up with your antics. I'm in the same boat. She would scold me a bit about the phone and gthen make go with her to get a new one. The dog app, however, I could do with out. I don't want to know what my dogs think, especially about me.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from huntinhuntinhuntin wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

What is the world coming too.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Gsquare wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

Your first inclination was right. Too much communication is not a good thing!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from joseph fisher wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

you cant tell what dog saying witha little piece of plastic

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from fliphuntr14 wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

i can tell you what it would say if it did work... "give me a treat". "pet me". "lets go hinting" and "im not jumping in there it looks cold"

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Tony Berg wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

I also got a "smart phone" a couple weeks ago. Just learned how to turn it on a couple days ago. Still trying to figure how to make a phone call on the damn thing.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bernie wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

I am one of about six people in the country who does not own a cell phone, nor do I have an answering machine on my land line phones in the house. I bought a ten-year-old boat last month--a Lund Alaskan--to replace my ancient boat, and it came with enough electronics to run a German submarine, plus a GPS--none of which I have the vaguest idea of how to operate. I know...I am an incorrigible Luddite.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jamesti wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

so you want me to get one of those things so my dog can cuss me out? no thanks. and when i miss, i don't need to hear him jeering at me! we get along just fine as it is.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from pudgexl29 wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

i have alwasy wondered what my dog would say. but like some of you others i dont have one of those fancy devices to figure it out haha

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hikerone wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

i think that the voice thing is something to do with pitches

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hikerone wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

thats awesome

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from fliphuntr14 wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

i can tell you what it would say if it did work... "give me a treat". "pet me". "lets go hinting" and "im not jumping in there it looks cold"

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Tony Berg wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

I also got a "smart phone" a couple weeks ago. Just learned how to turn it on a couple days ago. Still trying to figure how to make a phone call on the damn thing.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from jamesti wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

so you want me to get one of those things so my dog can cuss me out? no thanks. and when i miss, i don't need to hear him jeering at me! we get along just fine as it is.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from DSMbirddog wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

Your spouse must be a lovely and forgiving soul to put up with your antics. I'm in the same boat. She would scold me a bit about the phone and gthen make go with her to get a new one. The dog app, however, I could do with out. I don't want to know what my dogs think, especially about me.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from huntinhuntinhuntin wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

What is the world coming too.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Gsquare wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

Your first inclination was right. Too much communication is not a good thing!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from joseph fisher wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

you cant tell what dog saying witha little piece of plastic

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bernie wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

I am one of about six people in the country who does not own a cell phone, nor do I have an answering machine on my land line phones in the house. I bought a ten-year-old boat last month--a Lund Alaskan--to replace my ancient boat, and it came with enough electronics to run a German submarine, plus a GPS--none of which I have the vaguest idea of how to operate. I know...I am an incorrigible Luddite.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from pudgexl29 wrote 2 years 35 weeks ago

i have alwasy wondered what my dog would say. but like some of you others i dont have one of those fancy devices to figure it out haha

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hikerone wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

i think that the voice thing is something to do with pitches

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from hikerone wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

thats awesome

+1 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

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