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Chad Love: Buy a Diamond, Get a Rifle

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October 01, 2009

Chad Love: Buy a Diamond, Get a Rifle

By Chad Love

Sometimes you come across an idea so profoundly brilliant there's really not much more you can say about it than "wow, that's brilliant."

 
Take this ad, for example. It's from my hometown newspaper (and my very first job as a writer), The Norman (Okla.) Transcript.
 
It's so simple. So devious. So genius. Buy earrings for her. Be the romantic hero. Bask in the warm glow of her unadulterated love. Slip the rifle into the safe when she's over showing off the earrings to your mother-in-law, you know, the same mother-in-law who warned her daughter she should find a nice dentist instead of marrying you, the shiftless, unrepentant gun nut.
 
See? Brilliant. Everyone's a winner. The wife's happy (if none the wiser), you've got a new rifle and for once the mother-in-law is left speechless.
 
But here's my question: Would you tell her? Would not telling her about the gun be dishonest, or merely an insignificant detail you just sort of, uhh...you know...failed to mention?

Comments (24)

Top Rated
All Comments
from seadog wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Looks like a good promo to me. I would tell my wife--she doesn't mind me getting a new gun so much as spending the money on a new gun. If I spent the money on her, I don't think she would complain. Hmmmm ... Oklahoma, kind of a long trip for me but ...

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ckRich wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

It is a good promo, made me wish I had a wife so I could take advantage of it... don't really think I've put in enough time with my current girlfriend to justify diamonds. And really glad that she's computer illiterate and won't read this.

seadog,
You can make the trip. Our archery season started today, so you could pull a double-wammy (so to speak).

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from straightshooter wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

It would just be a matter of time before she discovered that a gun was part the deal. No doubt, that would significantly decrease the number of Brownie points earned by giving her the diamond ear rings.

Kind of like the time I was a such a wonderful husband for buying her a dozen roses "just because." That is, until she found out that the flower shop had them on sale. As a result, the Brownie points earned were reduced by the 50% off of retail that I had paid for the flowers.

Still trying to figure that one out.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Buy the earrings and get the rifle free!

Hey, even if you don't need the earrings right now, there will come a time when you hook up with the right one or you F-up severely with the current one and all you'll have to do is pull them out of the gun safe the next day and she'll think you really went to a lot of trouble to obtain the love offering.

Or just wear them yourself. Lots of you faggy looking guys and NBA wannabe's are wearing diamond earrings. Even some dipstick country artists are wearing them. You know how that goes; when you see a country boy in his latest fashion statement, you know the fad is over.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from HogBlog wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Man, the markup on those diamonds is either really big, or there's a flood of Brownings on the market!

Still, sounds like a great arrangement. There was a time when that would've worked, but my current love might choose the rifle over the diamonds!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from straightshooter wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

HogBlog -
It sounds like you might have found a keeper!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from shotgunlou wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

I'M IN!!! Where do I sign up?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from itzkat wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Wait, you mean she doesn't get the rifle too??!!

Don't get me wrong, I am all for things that sparkle, but hey, she may need to get ready for hunting season too? Why not give her the earrings and the rifle?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from seadog wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Hey itzkat,
Speaking from experience, let me explain:
Rule # 1: If mama ain't happy, then nobody's happy.
Rule # 2: If you treat mama too good, she'll walk all over you--then she's happy & you ain't.
You need to walk that fine line between Rule # 1 and Rule #2. If your gal want's a rifle, get her the rifle & you're the winner. lol

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from HogBlog wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Straightshooter, I definitely did!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from 86Ram wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

What great anniversart present(s)...
She wouldn't be too mad

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from crfromsc wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Maybe some sporting good store should offer free diamonds with a purchase of a gun.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from RJ Arena wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

My wife and I have a good arrangement- I buy her jewelry,she buys me guns, ammo and cigars. and I buy the wine.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from rudyglove27 wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

My wife does not mind at all, as long as she gets the diamond earring in the process!!!I tell you, I have a great wife...

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Speaking as an earring wearing wife type myself, I prefer Emeralds or Rubies and yep I'll take the rifle too. Diamonds are for knife sharpeners and lapidary tools, DeBeers diamond cartel has a monopoly on diamonds worldwide and has run the price up per carat way way beyond the price would be otherwise. A flawless emerald will beat a diamond in price per carat and is worth it too, because Real Flawless Emeralds are much much rarer than diamonds. Diamonds? I sharpen my axe with 'em, gimme emeralds, rubies and star sapphires any day!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Speaking as an earring wearing wife type myself, I prefer Emeralds or Rubies and yep I'll take the rifle too. Diamonds are for knife sharpeners and lapidary tools, DeBeers diamond cartel has a monopoly on diamonds worldwide and has run the price up per carat way way beyond the price would be otherwise. A flawless emerald will beat a diamond in price per carat and is worth it too, because Real Flawless Emeralds are much much rarer than diamonds. Diamonds? I sharpen my axe with 'em, gimme emeralds, rubies and star sapphires any day!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from JHawes wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

That promo is genius. Wish I had seen this earlier. Just last month I bought my girlfriend a diamond ring for our 2 year anniversary and she bought me a new muzzleloader.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from cdavis1887 wrote 4 years 27 weeks ago

If i lived there i would have a new gun right now.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mark-1 wrote 4 years 27 weeks ago

Bella,

You sound like high maintenance, but fun.

Other: I'd have a better chance sneaking a new gun past Cerberus, the Hound of Hades,than pass my SO.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 27 weeks ago

Actually I'm usually the one doing the maintaining, as my dearly beloved is chronically sick and never could swing an axe worth a damn anyway. Yep I put the logs on the fire and I boil him up them bacon and them beans. No I don't plan standing for any new studs, I like my old hoss just fine, even if I have to do all the huntin' and the fishin' myself...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mark-1 wrote 4 years 27 weeks ago

Darn.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from weaklandjr wrote 4 years 27 weeks ago

My wife would be draped in jewelry if this promotion was ever in my town.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from WhitetailHunter706 wrote 4 years 22 weeks ago

Hey im going to Oklahoma in a few days man im gonna like my new gun!!! one problem though it dont give the price of these diamonds... it might be cheaper to buy the gun and diamonds seperate. Anyway my girl buys me whatever hunting equipment i want... as long as i let her go with me every now and then and get her somethen too. :)

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from T.W. Davidson wrote 4 years 21 weeks ago

I'd give her the diamonds (along with flowers and a kiss and whatever else I could get away with) and not say a word about the rifle, which I would purposely make a just a touch oily and dusty and then hide in plain sight with other rifles, which would cause her to think I had long owned the (new) rifle anyway.

'Course, all this could be a significant factor in why I'm divorced these days.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment

from HogBlog wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Man, the markup on those diamonds is either really big, or there's a flood of Brownings on the market!

Still, sounds like a great arrangement. There was a time when that would've worked, but my current love might choose the rifle over the diamonds!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from straightshooter wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

HogBlog -
It sounds like you might have found a keeper!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from RJ Arena wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

My wife and I have a good arrangement- I buy her jewelry,she buys me guns, ammo and cigars. and I buy the wine.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Speaking as an earring wearing wife type myself, I prefer Emeralds or Rubies and yep I'll take the rifle too. Diamonds are for knife sharpeners and lapidary tools, DeBeers diamond cartel has a monopoly on diamonds worldwide and has run the price up per carat way way beyond the price would be otherwise. A flawless emerald will beat a diamond in price per carat and is worth it too, because Real Flawless Emeralds are much much rarer than diamonds. Diamonds? I sharpen my axe with 'em, gimme emeralds, rubies and star sapphires any day!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from straightshooter wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

It would just be a matter of time before she discovered that a gun was part the deal. No doubt, that would significantly decrease the number of Brownie points earned by giving her the diamond ear rings.

Kind of like the time I was a such a wonderful husband for buying her a dozen roses "just because." That is, until she found out that the flower shop had them on sale. As a result, the Brownie points earned were reduced by the 50% off of retail that I had paid for the flowers.

Still trying to figure that one out.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from WA Mtnhunter wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Buy the earrings and get the rifle free!

Hey, even if you don't need the earrings right now, there will come a time when you hook up with the right one or you F-up severely with the current one and all you'll have to do is pull them out of the gun safe the next day and she'll think you really went to a lot of trouble to obtain the love offering.

Or just wear them yourself. Lots of you faggy looking guys and NBA wannabe's are wearing diamond earrings. Even some dipstick country artists are wearing them. You know how that goes; when you see a country boy in his latest fashion statement, you know the fad is over.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from itzkat wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Wait, you mean she doesn't get the rifle too??!!

Don't get me wrong, I am all for things that sparkle, but hey, she may need to get ready for hunting season too? Why not give her the earrings and the rifle?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from crfromsc wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Maybe some sporting good store should offer free diamonds with a purchase of a gun.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from rudyglove27 wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

My wife does not mind at all, as long as she gets the diamond earring in the process!!!I tell you, I have a great wife...

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from seadog wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Looks like a good promo to me. I would tell my wife--she doesn't mind me getting a new gun so much as spending the money on a new gun. If I spent the money on her, I don't think she would complain. Hmmmm ... Oklahoma, kind of a long trip for me but ...

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ckRich wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

It is a good promo, made me wish I had a wife so I could take advantage of it... don't really think I've put in enough time with my current girlfriend to justify diamonds. And really glad that she's computer illiterate and won't read this.

seadog,
You can make the trip. Our archery season started today, so you could pull a double-wammy (so to speak).

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from shotgunlou wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

I'M IN!!! Where do I sign up?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from seadog wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Hey itzkat,
Speaking from experience, let me explain:
Rule # 1: If mama ain't happy, then nobody's happy.
Rule # 2: If you treat mama too good, she'll walk all over you--then she's happy & you ain't.
You need to walk that fine line between Rule # 1 and Rule #2. If your gal want's a rifle, get her the rifle & you're the winner. lol

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from HogBlog wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Straightshooter, I definitely did!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from 86Ram wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

What great anniversart present(s)...
She wouldn't be too mad

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

Speaking as an earring wearing wife type myself, I prefer Emeralds or Rubies and yep I'll take the rifle too. Diamonds are for knife sharpeners and lapidary tools, DeBeers diamond cartel has a monopoly on diamonds worldwide and has run the price up per carat way way beyond the price would be otherwise. A flawless emerald will beat a diamond in price per carat and is worth it too, because Real Flawless Emeralds are much much rarer than diamonds. Diamonds? I sharpen my axe with 'em, gimme emeralds, rubies and star sapphires any day!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from weaklandjr wrote 4 years 27 weeks ago

My wife would be draped in jewelry if this promotion was ever in my town.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from T.W. Davidson wrote 4 years 21 weeks ago

I'd give her the diamonds (along with flowers and a kiss and whatever else I could get away with) and not say a word about the rifle, which I would purposely make a just a touch oily and dusty and then hide in plain sight with other rifles, which would cause her to think I had long owned the (new) rifle anyway.

'Course, all this could be a significant factor in why I'm divorced these days.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from JHawes wrote 4 years 28 weeks ago

That promo is genius. Wish I had seen this earlier. Just last month I bought my girlfriend a diamond ring for our 2 year anniversary and she bought me a new muzzleloader.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from cdavis1887 wrote 4 years 27 weeks ago

If i lived there i would have a new gun right now.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mark-1 wrote 4 years 27 weeks ago

Bella,

You sound like high maintenance, but fun.

Other: I'd have a better chance sneaking a new gun past Cerberus, the Hound of Hades,than pass my SO.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bella wrote 4 years 27 weeks ago

Actually I'm usually the one doing the maintaining, as my dearly beloved is chronically sick and never could swing an axe worth a damn anyway. Yep I put the logs on the fire and I boil him up them bacon and them beans. No I don't plan standing for any new studs, I like my old hoss just fine, even if I have to do all the huntin' and the fishin' myself...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mark-1 wrote 4 years 27 weeks ago

Darn.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from WhitetailHunter706 wrote 4 years 22 weeks ago

Hey im going to Oklahoma in a few days man im gonna like my new gun!!! one problem though it dont give the price of these diamonds... it might be cheaper to buy the gun and diamonds seperate. Anyway my girl buys me whatever hunting equipment i want... as long as i let her go with me every now and then and get her somethen too. :)

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment