Whitetail Hunting photo

I hate the term “ground shrinkage.” Never heard it? Just watch 10 minutes of outdoor television. It is said by morons who after climbing out of their treestands and walking up to the buck they just shot, realize in horror that the deer won’t score quite as high as they’d thought, and is thus worth less.

What a rotten thing to say about the buck that just gave it all up for their entertainment and sustenance.

While I’m at it, here are a few more apparently in-vogue deer-hunting terms that make me cringe:

“Hit List”
Great. Now we are assassins–just what our most rabid critics have always claimed.

“Elect to Harvest”
You mean “shoot,” right? Yeah, that’s what I thought it meant.

“Freak Nasty” (to describe a big buck)
This is one of those trendy phrases that are supposed to make you sound hip but actually just make you sound increasingly silly as the term gets more and more overused. It brings to mind some of my young friends who are fond of saying, “Epic Fail.” They’re not old enough to know they sound just like the people who said “copasetic” in the 80’s. How embarassing? Whatever hipness “Freak Nasty” may have had in a vastly different context was lost quickly after it hit the hunting world.

“Good for the Herd”
Fine when it means “good for the herd.” But when it means “good for me and my hunting prospects,” it causes me to throw up in my mouth a little.

“Lung Butter” (bubbly blood on an arrow shaft)
Wallowing in gore seems to be really trendy. Which make me think, what the hell is the matter with people?!

That’ll do for today. Care to add to the list?