Merwin: Saltwater Bugattis (and Other Ultimate Fishing Cars)

The other day, Joe Cermele did a post about turning his new truck into a fishing machine, which got me thinking about what might be the ultimate fish car.

That might mean fastest, of course, and the Bugatti Veyron as the world's fastest production car might qualify. Or it would have until I saw this online video of a new $2 million Bugatti being hauled out of a shallow lagoon in Texas a couple of day ago.

Seems the driver swerved to avoid a low-flying pelican. What a tragedy! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this, but I do know that my ultimate fish car--whatever it is--would (a) have been able to simply drive free of this predicament, and (b) wouldn't cost $2 million in the first place. So a Bugatti is out.

But how about a ...

... special Field & Stream edition Lincoln Town Car. I mean take your basic cushy Lincoln and give it camo paint plus a 6-inch lift and big tires. Then add something like a Quigley 4WD conversion and electronically locking differentials (front and rear). Add surf-rod racks to the top, and I'd be good to go in high style.

Or for those on a budget, we could modify a little clapped-out Ford Escort station wagon, a P.O.S. car I once owned back in the day. We could add a snorkel-type intake for traversing shallow water--given a fast enough start. Suitably rusted, it would be almost invisible when parked along the river. I could use its extra spark plugs for sinkers. The tattered gray carpeting, meanwhile, might offer a perfect dubbing material for the bodies of Adams dry flies.

Dream on, buddy. Like most people who fantasize about exotic cars once in a while, I eventually confront this reality: The ultimate fish car is whatever I happen to be driving at the time.