Company Gives Out Ridiculous Package To New Hires

If you've ever wanted to write for Field & Stream, then here's your chance! The magazine is hiring, and in addition to all the regular perks that come with the job, one lucky new editor is going to get a helluva nice signing bonus. How nice? How does a fancy tuxedo, Cuban cigars, a spear gun, an oil painting of yourself, beard grooming oil, a year's supply of Dos Equis, a bottle of Sex Panther cologne and eleven thousand bucks wrapped in bacon sound to you?

Yep, this all could be yours if--wait, hold on a second--uh, sorry about that. I've just been told by editors that Field & Stream actually isn't hiring right now, it's not giving away all that cool stuff and that I'm an idiot who should check his facts a little more closely, because it's actually some other company that's giving away that bizarre assemblage of items to new hires.

From this story on CNET:
_A briefcase filled with $11,000 in bacon-wrapped cash. A year's supply of Dos Equis. An oil painting of yourself. Those are just a few of the hiring lures Los Angeles-based Scopely has bestowed upon "the most interesting engineer in the world." His name is Mike Thomas, pictured at the top of this story. Apparently he also gets to be featured in a CNET article. Even if you don't necessarily want all of these gifts (Scopely's CTO is a vegan who doesn't care for bacon wrapped cash), you get that this company is having fun. The culture may not be for everyone, but Scopely isn't looking for people that don't get the joke.
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_Scopely, which declines to share how much funding it has raised, is in stealth mode. All we outsiders know is that Scopley is "preparing to disrupt a segment of the social web that is ripe for innovation." This latest hire resulted after Scopely broadcast its unique culture in the form of unusual hiring bonuses. Its current website is simply a giant "We're Hiring" poster. The company's homepage url is jobs.scopely.com. Not just Scopely.com. It features CTO Ankur Bulsara in a suit drinking a martini. He and the rest of the company, fewer than 20 people, put a lot of effort into hiring Mike Thomas. It actually seems like that's all they've been doing. "There's no more important priority than building a team," says Scopely co-founder, Walter Driver. "I don't think it's possible to spend too much time on recruiting."
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O.K., so even though F&S isn't hiring, what would be an appropriately offbeat compensation package for the job? Could you top a bottle of Sex Panther and eleven grand wrapped in bacon? Get creative!