Reason 1: No matter how non-competitive you say you are, you want to get there first and you know it. Weekend warriors especially have gut pains up until they see there is no one in their favorite spot.

Reason 2: If a big school or wipers or tuna starts blowing up on the surface a half-mile away, you don’t have much time to get on them. Snooze you lose.

Reason 3: A bass boat is no fun unless your jowls flap and you need to wear a hockey mask at full throttle.

Reason 4: Ladies like fast rides.

Reason 5: Because you might have had the chance to avoid the disaster showcased in the video below. This why I don’t do sailboats or whale-watching.

Here’s another video report from CNN, which also ropes in some stellar jumping carp and attacking goose footage. I like when the whale victim says, “It was amazing. It was actually awesome,” at the end. Okay. Whatever. – JC