Congratulations to PETA for once again breaking the absurdity barrier. The group just launched a new campaign to rename fish “sea kittens.” No, I am not making this up. Apparently, the feeling is the “what’s in a name” effect will stop the cruelty of fishing. You know, if you imagine putting a hook in a little kitty’s mouth, you’ll be less inclined to drag those poor scaly creatures around with rod and reel.

I don’t care what you call them. I’m going to catch them. And eat them. I might even go for some sea kitten world records.

In fairness, I think we should apply the same line of thinking on the good folks at PETA. From now on, I will call them the human carp society.