Warning: The Following Stunt Was Performed by a Trained Professional

It snowed about a foot where I live the other day. So naturally, I thought that was the signal for me to start packing for a bonefishing trip I’ll be taking to Long Island in the Bahamas (in three weeks). Thing is, my wife and son will be staying home, as they both have to be in school then. I’ll be writing a story. You know, working. So I went and dug out the cardboard box that said “Kirk Summer Clothes” from the storage room. That’s almost as fun as opening birthday presents. Ah, to reunite with the long-lost flip-flops at last. And the shorts still fit!

Then the hard part started: I had to organize the fishing gear. Pack, pliers, lines, fly boxes, sunglasses, fishing shirts, pants, and my Chuck Taylor All-Stars (wading shoes). I think the best way to take inventory and make a packing plan is to spread everything out. Which I did. On our dining room table.

And then, I decided that I was woefully short on bonefish flies, so I set up the tying vise. On our kitchen table.

Now, I did make one mistake: If ever you’re tying up “Gotchas” to prepare for a tropical trip you’re going on by yourself, and listening to Jimmy Buffett music while drinking a Red Stripe at your kitchen table during a snowstorm–I’m going to suggest that’s probably not the best time and place to ask the Mrs. if she remembers where your passport is.

You can guess what happened next. All I’ll say is that the salty gear is now neatly packed in a little duffle bag, which is tucked in the corner of my closet for when I slink out of town. And the driveway doesn’t have any snow on it anymore.