I like to hunt deer and elk, just not nearly as much as I like to fly fish. I know that’s sacrilege in these environs, especially in this season. But I have my reasons.* In fact, I have ten good ones.
# 1 – A massive trophy trout will never cross the road directly in front of your house, exactly nine days after your tag expired (as this mule deer did to me).
# 2 – In fact, your “tag” isn’t limited to a few days or weeks, and in many places, a fishing license is good 365 days a year.
# 3 – I’ve completed all levels of “Angry Birds,” so I don’t have anything to do in my tree stand anymore.
# 4 – You can’t “wet-wade” your way through the woods.
# 5 – My wife looks cuter in waders than she does in camo coveralls.
# 6 – Any time you say you love fly fishing, it prompts legions of bait fishers to call you a “snob,” (even if you don’t insult them).
# 7 – I’m really fond of the new Old Spice “Fiji” anti-perspirant/deodorant, and can’t enjoy days without it. I certainly won’t replace it with “fox pee.”
# 8 – I don’t know about you, but I’ve learned (the hard way) that the fancy, expensive “scent blocking” pants do NOT work in church. What a rip-off!
# 9 – I’d rather match wits with something that has a brain the size of an almond. That’s a fair fight.
# 10 – Waders with zippers in a running water environment, versus three layers of underwear and an empty Prestone anti-freeze bottle. ‘Nuff said.
*Actually… who am I kidding? It’s all good. I’m really just bitter about reason Number 1.