Those of you old enough to remember TV in the 60s may recall a series of Bic commercials in which the ballpoints were tortured in various ways, including being shot out a gun and fastened to the heel of a flamenco dancer.

The people who make the Tuff Writer, a tactical pen, have come up with a sales gimmick in the grand tradition of the Bic ads. It’s silly, but we liked it so much we contacted Tuff Writer and got a pen–an $80 pen, I might add–to give away so we can play along.

Tuff Writer has challenged Blend Tec to blend one of their pens. If you are not already aware of the Blend Tec, it’s a high-end blender that generates uncommon amounts of torque and power. If you wanted to make a coconut milk daiquiri without bothering to crack the coconuts first, you could throw them in the Blendtec whole. In a series of “Will it Blend?” internet spots, the Blendtec grinds up all kinds of things, including an iPad (see below). Tuff Writer wants their turn in the blades.

However, Blend Tec isn’t returning Tuff Writer’s calls. So, Tuff Writer is setting aside money from the price of every pen they sell until they can buy their own Blendtec and try blending a pen. It will be a classic meeting of irresistible force vs. unmovable object.

To win one of these pens for yourself, all you need to do is write a suggestion in the comments section below describing the best way to test the toughness of the Tuff Writer until they save up enough for a Blend Tec. And be aware that web editor Dave Maccar is doing the judging, and that Maccar has a twisted sense of humor.

Win this pen and you will be the first on your block to be armed and ready to defend yourself while signing for packages, crossing items off your grocery list, or just sitting at home doing the Times Sunday crossword in tactical ink.