So say you live in a high-crime neighborhood and you worry that any time might be the time someone kicks in your front door and steals everything you own. And of course, you can’t really afford a real alarm system (If you could, why would you be living in a high-crime area in the first place, right?). So what’s a worried homeowner to do? Why, lie, of course. You leave a note attached to the door designed to make thieves think twice.

I give you the Best burglar-deterrent sign. Ever.

OK, here’s the question: Can you top it?